Giggles
- Thread starter Sharrivz
- Start date
Lol...great.
Lol classixs
True story.
Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk
Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk
WARNING
This new scam is being pulled mainly on men. What happens is that when you stop for a red light a young, nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield. While she is doing this another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car. They are very good at this.
They got me 7 times Friday and 5 times Saturday. I wasn't able to find them on Sunday!
This new scam is being pulled mainly on men. What happens is that when you stop for a red light a young, nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield. While she is doing this another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car. They are very good at this.
They got me 7 times Friday and 5 times Saturday. I wasn't able to find them on Sunday!
a little gun humour............... Gun Control.
It has already started at Gander Mountain Sporting Goods.
When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets, the
cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos
running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out
that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the
card-reader.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make
their instructions to us seniors a little clearer
I still don't think I looked that bad.
It has already started at Gander Mountain Sporting Goods.
When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets, the
cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos
running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out
that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the
card-reader.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make
their instructions to us seniors a little clearer
I still don't think I looked that bad.
It's a sunny morning in the big forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge!" he squeaks.
Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.
Mommy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and screams, "For God's sake, how many times do we have to go through this crap? I haven't made the porridge yet!"
Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.
Mommy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and screams, "For God's sake, how many times do we have to go through this crap? I haven't made the porridge yet!"
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it!
That guy is brilliant.
Sent from my GT-I9190 using Tapatalk
Sent from my GT-I9190 using Tapatalk
Eddie came to work Monday and his co-workers asked him how his weekend was. He said he played a little golf. So his co-worker asked him how well he did.
"I hit two of my best balls," he said.
"Tell me about it," said his co-worker.
"I stepped on a rake."
test ..
silly thing won't let me copy paste my joke !!
silly thing won't let me copy paste my joke !!
Paste it into notepad first - that will get rid of any funny chars or fonts or whatnot because notepade does not support that - then copy from notepad and paste here
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, Vietnam, 1969."
The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, Vietnam, 1969."
The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp:
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"
And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy black wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle brown wabby over there?"
She in turn puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon weally gives a shit!"
A plane took off from Johannesburg International Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight SA 605 to Durban. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Please sit back and relax...OH MY GOD!"
After a moment of silence, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of hot coffee and spilled it in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger piped up, "That's nothing...you should see the back of mine!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight SA 605 to Durban. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Please sit back and relax...OH MY GOD!"
After a moment of silence, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of hot coffee and spilled it in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger piped up, "That's nothing...you should see the back of mine!"
One day mom was cleaning Junior's room, and in the closet she found an S & M magazine. This was very upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. She finally asked him, "Well, what should we do about this?" He looked back at her hesitantly, "Well I don't think you should spank him."
A man walked in to a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively "You've got great hair!" The man looked around but couldn't see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer.
A minute later, he heard the same soft voice say "You're a handsome man!" The man looked around, but still couldn't see where the voice was coming from.
When he went back to his beer, the voice said again "What a stud you are!" The man was so baffled by this that he asked the bartender what was going on.
The bartender said "Oh, it's the nuts - they're complimentary."
Similar threads
