10. Just because there’s a big pile of washing to be done, that doesn’t mean there’s no time for vaping. In fact, throw the whole pile out of the window and instead enjoy a good vaping session and start shopping on the internet for a whole new wardrobe while nonchalantly ignoring the banging and shouting from your neighbour who may or may not be upset regarding the pile of dirty clothes that just landed on his head.
9. Of course, number 1 may leave you with a couple of days of wandering around naked before your new outfits arrive, but that’s a pretty good excuse for not turning up to work and staying home vaping all day instead. Imagine the conversation: “Hey boss, I’m too naked to come in today. I’ve seen a shop on the internet about it though and I should be fully clothed again within a couple of days. See you then.”
8. Enjoying a nice vape after dinner is a good way of avoiding the temptation to overindulge in puddings and desserts and keep that waistline trim. Spend a few minutes vaping away after a meal and that nagging urge to dive head first into that lovely big chocolate cake with all the cream will surely pass. Surely. Any second now it’s going to pass. Any second…
7. Let’s face facts here for a moment; chewing gum is the most pointless activity on the face of the earth, rivalled only by asking a politician for a straight answer. So if you’re the kind of person that likes to pretend to be eating without actually eating anything then perhaps it’s time you found an alternative hobby for your mouth. May I suggest vaping, as then I won’t have to listen to you constantly chewing a rubbery piece of smelly nothing.
6. Should you wake up one morning after dreaming of being a perfectly normal and likable person, and to your horror discover that you are actually Justin Bieber, then don’t go rushing off to the studio to record more songs, just stop and enjoy a vape for a while, a really long while. Please, just stop and vape, though mostly just stop. Thanks.
5. Perhaps you are a street gangsta with important caps to pop, but do you really need to get dat money? Why not knock the whole thug life thing on the head and pursue a whole new way of life, which might include but is not limited to writing poetry, knitting and smiling at biscuits. If you can squeeze in time for a vape between all these new wholesome pursuits then go ahead and vape away. Vaping is the rizzle dizzle, fo shizzle.
4. If you’re a builder in the British construction industry then why not take a break from having a break and enjoy a good vape on your electronic cigarette. Yes, yes, I know the tea won’t drink itself, but surely you can spare five minutes out of your day to appreciate the wonders of modern vaping technology.
3. If you happen to be a despot in charge of a small nation whose people are growing restless at your corrupt and tyrannical ways, then why not take a break from all the death warrant signing and revolution quashing that’s been piling up and simply take a moment to enjoy a nice, relaxing vape while gazing out from your palace balcony. Wave cheerfully at the thousands of angry peasants calling for your head and don’t forget to dodge those petrol bombs.
2. If you’ve read this far, then let’s be honest, you’ve probably been on the internet too long already. Power down your computer and push yourself away from your desk (if you have a chair with wheels like me that is, and if you don’t have a chair with wheels then what are you doing with your life?). Place those feet up on the table, lean back and enjoy a vape while quietly panicking at the thought of all the messages, tweets and updates you’re probably missing.
1. The best reason to vape regularly is to practice your vaping tricks, more and more of which are being invented all the time. Learn how to create a vapour tongue drooping over your bottom lip, or fill a glass with the vapour and drink it like a boss. Bring your smart phone to your mouth and create a literal smoke screen over its surface. There are myriad ways to look awesome and cool in front of your friends so don’t stop practicing, unless you’re Justin Bieber, then just stop everything. Please.
9. Of course, number 1 may leave you with a couple of days of wandering around naked before your new outfits arrive, but that’s a pretty good excuse for not turning up to work and staying home vaping all day instead. Imagine the conversation: “Hey boss, I’m too naked to come in today. I’ve seen a shop on the internet about it though and I should be fully clothed again within a couple of days. See you then.”
8. Enjoying a nice vape after dinner is a good way of avoiding the temptation to overindulge in puddings and desserts and keep that waistline trim. Spend a few minutes vaping away after a meal and that nagging urge to dive head first into that lovely big chocolate cake with all the cream will surely pass. Surely. Any second now it’s going to pass. Any second…
7. Let’s face facts here for a moment; chewing gum is the most pointless activity on the face of the earth, rivalled only by asking a politician for a straight answer. So if you’re the kind of person that likes to pretend to be eating without actually eating anything then perhaps it’s time you found an alternative hobby for your mouth. May I suggest vaping, as then I won’t have to listen to you constantly chewing a rubbery piece of smelly nothing.
6. Should you wake up one morning after dreaming of being a perfectly normal and likable person, and to your horror discover that you are actually Justin Bieber, then don’t go rushing off to the studio to record more songs, just stop and enjoy a vape for a while, a really long while. Please, just stop and vape, though mostly just stop. Thanks.
5. Perhaps you are a street gangsta with important caps to pop, but do you really need to get dat money? Why not knock the whole thug life thing on the head and pursue a whole new way of life, which might include but is not limited to writing poetry, knitting and smiling at biscuits. If you can squeeze in time for a vape between all these new wholesome pursuits then go ahead and vape away. Vaping is the rizzle dizzle, fo shizzle.
4. If you’re a builder in the British construction industry then why not take a break from having a break and enjoy a good vape on your electronic cigarette. Yes, yes, I know the tea won’t drink itself, but surely you can spare five minutes out of your day to appreciate the wonders of modern vaping technology.
3. If you happen to be a despot in charge of a small nation whose people are growing restless at your corrupt and tyrannical ways, then why not take a break from all the death warrant signing and revolution quashing that’s been piling up and simply take a moment to enjoy a nice, relaxing vape while gazing out from your palace balcony. Wave cheerfully at the thousands of angry peasants calling for your head and don’t forget to dodge those petrol bombs.
2. If you’ve read this far, then let’s be honest, you’ve probably been on the internet too long already. Power down your computer and push yourself away from your desk (if you have a chair with wheels like me that is, and if you don’t have a chair with wheels then what are you doing with your life?). Place those feet up on the table, lean back and enjoy a vape while quietly panicking at the thought of all the messages, tweets and updates you’re probably missing.
1. The best reason to vape regularly is to practice your vaping tricks, more and more of which are being invented all the time. Learn how to create a vapour tongue drooping over your bottom lip, or fill a glass with the vapour and drink it like a boss. Bring your smart phone to your mouth and create a literal smoke screen over its surface. There are myriad ways to look awesome and cool in front of your friends so don’t stop practicing, unless you’re Justin Bieber, then just stop everything. Please.
