# And so it was writ...



## Hooked

I often laugh at the ambiguity of the written word and I thought it might be interesting to start a thread. Please note that my intention is not to make fun of the writer, but of the unintentional ambiguity. Anything that is ambiguous, strange, misspelt thereby giving it a different meaning, is what this thread will be about.

Reactions: Like 3


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## Hooked

I'll get the ball rolling with this one.

"Rohde was admitted to a clinic for depression treatment after he went on a holiday to Plettenberg Bay."

Gosh! Imagine the tourist ad, "Plettenburg Bay - your holiday dream. Arrive happy - leave depressed"

https://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/...und-to-prove-violence-at-death-scene-20180227

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1


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## Hooked

I've also seen on a number of vendor's sites, the description of a "desert" e-liquid. Personally, I wouldn't want to vape a desert. I should imagine it would be rather dry.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 2 | Funny 1


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## Hooked

Someone who is interested in DIY wants to "mix myself". I wonder how one does that? Perhaps put a loooooon wooden spoon down your throat to stir the cauldron of undigested food in your stomach?

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 2


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## TheV

A colleague asked me if I would like to "meat" her friend. I did. And I did. Married for 6 years. Good times

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 3 | Funny 9


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## Hooked

TheV said:


> A colleague asked me if I would like to "meat" her friend. I did. And I did. Married for 6 years. Good times



@TheV I'm glad to hear that you have no beef with your wife. Well done! - or perhaps that should be rare?

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 7


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## Spyro

I've often seen vendors describe juice as "very sweat"... Sounds delicious.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked

For the Love of the Pun





This was on FB and someone posted a sequel, "The police are threading the events together to stitch a watertight case. The needle of suspicion points towards Mr.Thimble."

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Christos

Hooked said:


> View attachment 127724


This reminds me of:

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## Christos



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## Hooked



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## Christos



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## Christos



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## Raindance

Christos said:


> View attachment 128123


That was a good one, must be mafia related.

Regards

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## Hooked



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## Adephi

You know those add's on youtube we always skip. This one I watched through and was not disappointed.

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## Hooked

@Adephi thanks for the laugh!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Saw this on FB today:





Now who on earth would want to assist Omnia - and book to do so? Hell no, I want to go there to eat, not to help someone prepare the meal!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Frm FB:

"Zophie is enjoying her Aspire Breeze 2@zophievapes ,How do you think about this updated Breeze version?"

Interesting question! I don't know *how* I think - it just happens

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## Christos



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## Faiyaz Cheulkar

Hooked said:


> View attachment 127724


Oh don't get me started on spelling errors done by Indians

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## Faiyaz Cheulkar



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## Faiyaz Cheulkar

There u go....

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## Raindance

Faiyaz Cheulkar said:


> View attachment 130726
> 
> View attachment 130727
> 
> View attachment 130728
> 
> View attachment 130729
> 
> View attachment 130730
> 
> View attachment 130731
> 
> View attachment 130732
> 
> View attachment 130733
> 
> View attachment 130734
> 
> View attachment 130735
> 
> View attachment 130736


That last one takes the cake! 

Regards

Reactions: Like 2


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## Hooked

Faiyaz Cheulkar said:


> Oh don't get me started on spelling errors done by Indians



lol but it's so easy to make a mistake like the one in the pic


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## Faiyaz Cheulkar

Hooked said:


> lol but it's so easy to make a mistake like the one in the pic


I had a physical education teacher in my school who used to say "form a straight circle", the worse part is he said that for years and no one corrected him !!!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Someone wrote, "I do not have much money but my mother has piles."

I replied that she'd better see the doctor!

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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> Someone wrote, "I do not have much money but my mother has piles."
> 
> I replied that she'd better see the doctor!


Kids!, they say the darnest things...

Regards

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Hooked

Raindance said:


> Kids!, they say the darnest things...
> 
> Regards



It wasn't a kid who said this lol

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> It wasn't a kid who said this lol


Yip, came across the actual post a bit later. All in good spirits, I hope! LOL.

Regards

Reactions: Like 1


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## Hooked

Raindance said:


> Yip, came across the actual post a bit later. All in good spirits, I hope! LOL.
> 
> Regards



Of course! As I said at the beginning of this thread, I'm laughing at the linguistic ambiguity - not at the person who said it.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Hooked

From FB. Rosemead is a bakery in Yzerfontein.

"Please note our winter closing times! We will be closed Saturday 19 & Sunday 20 May; and from Wednesday 30 May until Wednesday 13 June (open again 14 June)."

So winter occurs only on those days? Clearly they have insider knowledge.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked

"How Do You Think About IJOY 3 In 1 KIT?"

I don't know how I think. Thoughts just happen - I wish I knew the process!


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## Raindance

Real scene picture?! As opposed to what alternative?

Regards


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## Hooked

Raindance said:


> Real scene picture?! As opposed to what alternative?
> 
> Regards



@Raindance I don't know what you're talking about


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## Hooked



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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 131560


Eina!


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## Hooked



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## Christos



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## Christos



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

At the take-away section of our local Spar today, I saw a sign saying, "Chicken Pig". They meant Chicken Pie and the poor girl who wrote it was so embarrassed when I pointed it out. Murphy's Law, I didn't have my phone with me so no pic!

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## Adephi



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked




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## Hooked

Houston, we have a problem.

@Steyn777 said, "I have yet to meet a forum member I didn't enjoy ... You should come over 1 time...I'd like to have you for dinner."



EDIT: I spelt Houston incorrectly

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## Hooked

"I will defiantly be getting more of this and more of their other fantastic flavours.", wrote a reviewer.

Gosh, no need to be defiant - just ask nicely...

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## Hooked

What's wrong with this ad posted on FB?

"PURCHASE OF WALK BEHIND DOUBLE DRUM VIBRATORY ROLLER WITH TRAILER"


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## Steyn777

Hooked said:


> Houston, we have a problem.
> 
> @Steyn777 said, "I have yet to meet a forum member I didn't enjoy ... You should come over 1 time...I'd like to have you for dinner."
> 
> 
> 
> EDIT: I spelt Houston incorrectly


Lol...another favourite is "I'm giving serious thought, to eating your wife " Dr. Hannibal

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## Hooked

I'd been vaping for about a week when I met the owner and mixologist of a juice line. He makes the juice at home, but he made sure to tell me that he has a clean room. I assumed that he meant that *that* room in his house was clean, but not the others. Only later in the conversation did I realise that wasn't what he meant and he then explained what a clean-room is. 

Hyphens are important:
Clean-room means a proper mixing room, meeting health standards re air purity, stainless steel counters etc. etc.
Clean room simply means a room that is clean!


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## Adephi




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## Andre

Adephi said:


> View attachment 133549


Tell her/him it is better to vape it than to smoke it!

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## craigb

Adephi said:


> View attachment 133549


It's always time for air guitar.

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## Adephi



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## Hooked

@Moerse Rooikat said, "

"love it. 
sits nicely in my hand looks good. 
might be to big for same [sic]"

First we have Cannibal Steyn @Steyn777 wanting to have someone for dinner (the post is above somewhere) and now we have Moerse Rooikat making moerse lewd comments. Really! The kids of today...

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## craigb

Hooked said:


> @Moerse Rooikat said, "
> 
> "love it.
> sits nicely in my hand looks good.
> might be to big for same [sic]"
> 
> First we have Cannibal Steyn @Steyn777 wanting to have someone for dinner (the post is above somewhere) and now we have Moerse Rooikat making moerse lewd comments. Really! The kids of today...



There's even more lewdness and depravity here

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## Adephi

These guys are just brilliant with their ads

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## Hooked



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## Faiyaz Cheulkar



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## Faiyaz Cheulkar

And the winner is

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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO

Hooked said:


> View attachment 131068


I agree 20 KIDS are enough...

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## ARYANTO

Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1


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## gertvanjoe

Hooked said:


> @TheV I'm glad to hear that you have no beef with your wife. Well done! - or perhaps that should be rare?



It should not be rare to have a good relationship with one's wife

Reactions: Like 3


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## ARYANTO

"Have you got the address of the butter sellers website?"
"Yes, but don't spread it around."

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## ARYANTO

Q: What do you call a computer expert? 
A: A control-alt-elite.

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## ARYANTO

I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.

It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.....

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## ARYANTO

A: "You know, my daughter has married an Irishman"
B: "Oh, really?"
A: "No, O'Reilly"

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## Hooked

https://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/...lligence-boss-pat-mokushane-arrested-20180615

"Former crime intelligence boss Pat Mokushane has been arrested and is expected to appear in court on charges of corruption, fraud and money laundering on Friday."

My comment: Ignore "intelligence" as it is obviously a mistake.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> A: "You know, my daughter has married an Irishman"
> B: "Oh, really?"
> A: "No, O'Reilly"



Love all your jokes @ARYANTO!

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## Hooked

"Load shedding exposes cracks at Eskom ... "

Really? How would one see the cracks in the dark?

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

@JurgensSt started a thread called Vaping Kids. I've never vaped any kids before.

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## Rincewind



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## ARYANTO

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.

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## ARYANTO

Sam said to his friend: "I bought a cat"
friend replied: "You have to be kitten me!"

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## ARYANTO

What idiot called it a vet instead of a dogtor?

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## ARYANTO

Elizabeth, did you know that you* O! O! O! O!* car is actually called Audi?


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## Hooked

@Raindance said, "I know kilogram, I know milligram, what the heck is an instagram?"

Good one, @Raindance!

Reactions: Funny 3 | Thanks 1


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## Hooked

@SAVapeGear posted a Periodic Table of Vaping. https://www.ecigssa.co.za/periodic-table-of-vaping.t51078/

It's not much use to me as I vape continuously.

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## Christos



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## Hooked

Christos said:


> View attachment 136242



Shiver ... this pic gives me the heebie-jeebies

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## ARYANTO

“A nut for a jar of tuna” is the same backwards [palindrome]

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## Hooked

@RainstormZA said, "then you may definitely like the one I made"

may definitely? Do you write contracts by any chance, because you sure know how to cover all the options!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## RainstormZA

You know when it rains, it pours @Hooked


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## Christos

Hooked said:


> Shiver ... this pic gives me the heebie-jeebies


Well how about some chicken flesh


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## Hooked

Christos said:


> Well how about some chicken flesh
> View attachment 136280



You deserve a Dislike for both pics - utterly gross, but the dog one is really disturbing! The dog looks so distressed and by 'distressed' I'm referring to an emotion, not a paint effect!

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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> You deserve a Dislike for both pics - utterly gross, but the dog one is really disturbing! The dog looks so distressed and by 'distressed' I'm referring to an emotion, not a paint effect!


Its a Labby, that's just the way they look. LOL.

@Christos, Must say I also find the chicken skin one rather foul.

Regards

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## Christos

Raindance said:


> Its a Labby, that's just the way they look. LOL.
> 
> @Christos, Must say I also find the chicken skin one rather foul.
> 
> Regards


Did you not mean rather fowl

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## Hooked

@Strontium said, "Or am I just milc.....I mean milking it now?"

I guess there must be a cow amongst the animalz in this thread. https://www.ecigssa.co.za/zewb-vs-animalz.t51077/#post-688666

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## RainstormZA

Hooked said:


> @Strontium said, "Or am I just milc.....I mean milking it now?"
> 
> I guess there must be a cow amongst the animalz in this thread. https://www.ecigssa.co.za/zewb-vs-animalz.t51077/#post-688666



I say "Mooooooo"

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## Hooked

RainstormZA said:


> I say "Mooooooo"



C'mon everybody! When @RainstormZA says, "Mooooooo" you say, "Mooooooo "Mooooooo"!!

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## Hooked

@Silver said, "There are a lot of experts here" and I replied, "We were all pert at some stage, but with age we've become ex-pert."

@Silver That method to quote someone works within the same thread, but how to paste it into another thread? That doesn't seem to work. e.g. In this thread I wanted to quote your There are a lot of experts here, which is in the Introduce Yourselved thread.

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## Silver

Hooked said:


> @Silver said, "There are a lot of experts here" and I replied, "We were all pert at some stage, but with age we've become ex-pert."
> 
> @Silver That method to quote someone works within the same thread, but how to paste it into another thread? That doesn't seem to work. e.g. In this thread I wanted to quote your There are a lot of experts here, which is in the Introduce Yourselved thread.



What you do is as follows:

You highlight the piece of text you want to quote - and click on the +Quote black button




That puts the quote into a multi quote memory

Then you go to the thread you want to use the quote and you will see in the text box while typing that there is a new blue button called "Insert Quotes"




Click on that and you can then insert the quote from the other thread

Hope that makes sense @Hooked?

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1


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## Hooked

Silver said:


> Wow - great vapemails @Hooked
> Enjoy!



Aha It works - thanks @Silver! I should open my eyes and read all the buttons on the page! Thank you!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## craigb

Silver said:


> What you do is as follows:
> 
> You highlight the piece of text you want to quote - and click on the +Quote black button
> 
> View attachment 136374
> 
> 
> That puts the quote into a multi quote memory
> 
> Then you go to the thread you want to use the quote and you will see in the text box while typing that there is a new blue button called "Insert Quotes"
> 
> View attachment 136375
> 
> 
> Click on that and you can then insert the quote from the other thread
> 
> Hope that makes sense @Hooked?


If you open lots of threads at once and then read through them, the insert quotes button won't appear in a page that's already open until you refresh the page (ie refresh the thread you want to insert into)

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Informative 1


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## RainstormZA

Silver said:


> But I like it a bit rougher - so I prefer 18mg normal nic for the higher throat hit.

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## Silver

RainstormZA said:


>



Lol @RainstormZA 
It's not funny, it's true!
hehe

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## RainstormZA

Silver said:


> Lol @RainstormZA
> It's not funny, it's true!
> hehe


Lol alright, here we go again!

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## craigb

RainstormZA said:


> Lol alright, here we go again!
> 
> View attachment 136604


But it's not Tuesday night yet?

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## RainstormZA

craigb said:


> But it's not Tuesday night yet?


Ah shurrup lol

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## Raindance

RainstormZA said:


> Lol alright, here we go again!
> 
> View attachment 136604


No metal tips to the lash ends?! Amateurs! I bet your dungeon is above ground as well?
@craigb, Saturday nights bro, Saturday nights.

That's what @Christos told me in any case.

Regards

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 1


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## craigb

Raindance said:


> No metal tips to the lash ends?! Amateurs! I bet your dungeon is above ground as well?
> @craigb, Saturday nights bro, Saturday nights.
> 
> That's what @Christos told me in any case.
> 
> Regards


Too many normies trying to pretend that they are not vanilla on Saturdays.

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## Hooked

Paulie said:


> We can defiantly host if you all keen



@Paulie Calm down ... no need to be defiant!

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## Christos

Raindance said:


> No metal tips to the lash ends?! Amateurs! I bet your dungeon is above ground as well?
> @craigb, Saturday nights bro, Saturday nights.
> 
> That's what @Christos told me in any case.
> 
> Regards


Saturday nights are reserved for bingo....

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked

https://edition.cnn.com/







Crude oil bath 'cures disease'

Crude-oil bath, or crude oil-bath?

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## Adephi

Hooked said:


> https://edition.cnn.com/
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Crude oil bath 'cures disease'
> 
> Crude-oil bath, or crude oil-bath?



Why are people ok with this but they want to ban vaping?

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1


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## Christos

Adephi said:


> Why are people ok with this but they want to ban vaping?


There are vapers out there who do stops things. 
I am by no means saying there is any correlation to stupidity and vaping.

The sad fact of the matter is we need regulation but our governments seem to think regulation and censorship and rights to freedom of speech are one and the same.


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## ARYANTO

''He always wanted to write a novel about an overcrowded cemetery, but there was no plot"

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## ARYANTO

Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Sein.

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## Hooked



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## Adephi

This can be read in so many ways.

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## ARYANTO

Why is it a bad idea to play poker with a cat?

Chances are it is a cheetah.

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## ARYANTO

“The trouble with internet quotes is that it’s extremely hard to ascertain their true origin.” 
-
Martin Luther King​

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO

Q: What do chemists’ dogs do with their bones? 
A: They barium!

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## ARYANTO

Q. What did the ocean say to the sailboat?
A. Nothing, it just waved.

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## Hooked

As a moderator of one of the Yzerfontein FB groups, I often see this reply. WHY don't people see the word WHY at the beginning of the sentence?


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## Christos

Hooked said:


> View attachment 138035
> 
> 
> As a moderator of one of the Yzerfontein FB groups, I often see this reply. WHY don't people see the word WHY at the beginning of the sentence?


Yes!

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## ARYANTO

Q: Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? 
A: Because it's pointless.

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## ARYANTO

Q: What do you call the security guards who work at the Samsung store? 
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

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## Raindance

ARYANTO said:


> Q: What do you call the security guards who work at the Samsung store?
> A: Guardians of the Galaxy.


So being a Green Lantern is a real job?

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## ARYANTO

Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross.

But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer.

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## ARYANTO

Can February March? No, but April May.

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## ARYANTO

If you clean your vacuum, would you be a vacuum cleaner?

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## Hooked

This is from the last Scarecrow Festival in Darling, Western Cape

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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> This is from the last Scarecrow Festival in Darling, Western Cape
> View attachment 138745


Thats it! I'm moving to Darling, LOL.

Regards

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## Hooked

Raindance said:


> Thats it! I'm moving to Darling, LOL.
> 
> Regards



Yeah! Another vaper nearby lol - irrespective of what you have all day!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## Faiyaz Cheulkar

Solution to all my problems, lol

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## Christos

Faiyaz Cheulkar said:


> Solution to all my problems, lol
> View attachment 138759


Most of these "conditions" can be sorted out with me telling someone to adult up 
I just can't help with the bad body smell assuming soap has been used...

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## ARYANTO

Compliments
''I would love to spend every minute of every day with you,
but some days I actually have to get stuff done''.

''If there is one thing I like about you,
its that I like more than one thing about you.''

''If you knew how much I think about you,
I would be very embarrassed.''

''Your smile is proof that the best things in life are free.''

Reactions: Like 1


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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## RainstormZA

vicTor said:


> exotic coils may give hectic spit back



A king cobra?

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## Hooked

A forest fire - in a boat? Gosh, this is really awful!

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## Faiyaz Cheulkar

Got a new 60w soldering iron as my 25 watt one dint have enough juice to solder thick copper wires to a mods 510 connection. The user guide that came along is really interesting and informative, especially the operating instructions

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## RainstormZA

Hahahahahaha @Faiyaz Cheulkar that's classic!!!

Reactions: Like 1 | Thanks 1


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## Room Fogger

Faiyaz Cheulkar said:


> Got a new 60w soldering iron as my 25 watt one dint have enough juice to solder thick copper wires to a mods 510 connection. The user guide that came along is really interesting and informative, especially the operating instructions
> View attachment 139912


@Faiyaz Cheulkar , I sincerely hope you understand what they are trying to say, because you have to use it. For me, Coke, popcorn and I’ll be watching from the sidelines!

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 3


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## RainstormZA

Hooked said:


> View attachment 139103


Lol I choked on my vape when I read that.

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## Hooked

Faiyaz Cheulkar said:


> Got a new 60w soldering iron as my 25 watt one dint have enough juice to solder thick copper wires to a mods 510 connection. The user guide that came along is really interesting and informative, especially the operating instructions
> View attachment 139912



Ah I know what's happened here - electronic translation. My students in China and Oman often used their electronic dictionaries for wr essays and the results were hilarious and often incomprehensible! Wish I'd kept them! And the funniest was that they couldn't understand why I couldn't understand what they'd written and they would show me the translation in the dictionary! I simply could not convince them that the dictionary was wrong - the their marks convinced them soon enough lol

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Adephi

Faiyaz Cheulkar said:


> Got a new 60w soldering iron as my 25 watt one dint have enough juice to solder thick copper wires to a mods 510 connection. The user guide that came along is really interesting and informative, especially the operating instructions
> View attachment 139912

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 2


----------



## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 139839
> 
> 
> 
> A forest fire - in a boat? Gosh, this is really awful!


Thats one hell of a big boat

Reactions: Agree 1


----------



## Hooked

JurgensSt said:


> Firstly tanks for selling the Zeus Dual and bubble glass to me.



A tank for a tank @JurgensSt

Reactions: Funny 2


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## ARYANTO

Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog...


----------



## ARYANTO

WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY...

Phone conversations last 30 seconds

You know useful stuff about tanks and vaping

A 15-day vacation requires only one suitcase

Bathroom lines are 80% shorter

You can open all your own jars

Old friends don't give you grief if you've lost or gained weight

When clicking through the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying

You can go to the bathroom alone

You can leave a bed unmade

The garage is all yours

The remote is yours and yours alone

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

You never have to clean the toilet

You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes

2 Pairs of shoes is more than enough

You can say anything and not worry about what people think

Car mechanics tell you the truth

You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut

Gray hair and wrinkles add character

Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100

You don't care if someone is talking behind your back

If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't tell your friends you've changed

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies !

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 2


----------



## Hooked

Comment on FB, "When are you going to do something about the moving violations that are taking place all over the City?"

Violations are indeed very moving.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


----------



## craigb

Hooked said:


> Comment on FB, "When are you going to do something about the moving violations that are taking place all over the City?"
> 
> Violations are indeed very moving.


And if they were just happening in one part of the city, they wouldn't be moving now, would they?

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 1


----------



## RainstormZA

craigb said:


> And if they were just happening in one part of the city, they wouldn't be moving now, would they?


They are movable bwhahahahahaha

Reactions: Like 1


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## craigb

RainstormZA said:


> They are movable bwhahahahahaha


If you commit the same violation again, would that make it removable?

Reactions: Funny 1


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## RainstormZA

> I've made Wayne's Pebble Cream Bronuts



@Wimmas lol


----------



## RainstormZA

craigb said:


> If you commit the same violation again, would that make it removable?


One tip - tippex. Lol


----------



## Rincewind



Reactions: Funny 6


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## RainstormZA

Rob Fisher said:


> I Ninja vaped and was very mindful and didn't have an issue.






@Rob Fisher hehehe

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


----------



## Rincewind



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 4


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## Hooked

https://www.all4women.co.za/1553000...-recalls-being-an-eye-witness-of-9-11-tragedy

Kristen Bell will “never forget” witnessing the 9/11 tragedy as she worked on the stage play Reefer Madness at the time. .. She recalled: “We rushed outside and walked to the theatre in time to watch the second tower fall from the street.

The second tower fell from the street? No wonder this article is categorised as "entertainment" (see link above).


----------



## ARYANTO

Hooked said:


> https://www.all4women.co.za/1553000...-recalls-being-an-eye-witness-of-9-11-tragedy
> 
> Kristen Bell will “never forget” witnessing the 9/11 tragedy as she worked on the stage play Reefer Madness at the time. .. She recalled: “We rushed outside and walked to the theatre in time to watch the second tower fall from the street.
> 
> The second tower fell from the street? No wonder this article is categorised as "entertainment" (see link above).


strange...


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## RainstormZA

ARYANTO said:


>


Lol I ain't one of them

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Winner 1


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## ARYANTO

I asked my mother for “something Cuban” 
for my birthday, and she got me a Che Guevara T shirt.

Clothes, but no cigar.

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked

RainstormZA said:


> Lol I ain't one of them



I agree @RainstormZA - unless it's an O-ring for my mod!

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## Hooked

I've just quoted an article about The Pawfect restaurants for dogs https://www.ecigssa.co.za/cape-town-interesting-articles.t49087/page-3#post-704752 and I just have to quote parts of the article here too 

"Jooste shared that dogs are only allowed outside of the restaurant and must remain on their leashes. If their dog is disruptive they will be removed from the restaurant. The rules apply to staff members as well ... "

_So staff members have to be on leashes too?_

"In order to tackle the criticism of animals serving a heath hazard, Die Damhuis only allows pets on the outside of the restaurant."

_Not only are staff members on leashes, but animals do the serving? And they serve a health hazard? This I must see! I've been meaning to go to this restaurant for a long time, but now I'll definitely go! _

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 2 | Funny 6


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## Hooked

Image copied from @Adephi's post in Giggles.

I've never drunk Pre-Kids or After Kids. I wonder what they taste like?

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Adephi

Hooked said:


> Image copied from @Adephi's post in Giggles.
> 
> I've never drunk Pre-Kids or After Kids. I wonder what they taste like?

Reactions: Funny 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked

@Braki

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 4


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## ARYANTO

Wat Arun Temple, Bangkok, Thailand
''_don't dangle any doll''_

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## ARYANTO

Classic !!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2 | Informative 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 2


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## Raindance



Reactions: Like 4 | Winner 1 | Funny 1


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## Spyro

Raindance said:


> View attachment 142370


Snapshot of mooch

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 1


----------



## Hooked

Seen on FB

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1


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## Spyro

Hooked said:


> Seen on FB
> 
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 142448


Me taughts me taw a putie tat

Reactions: Funny 4


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## craigb

Spyro said:


> Me taughts me taw a putie tat


I deed I deed!

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked

BigGuy said:


> Still no luck with a screen as soon as i get a device back that has the screen in tact and the rest is buggered we will be in contact.



Thumbs up for tactful screens

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked

@MrGSmokeFree said




WOW! Not just Sat. afternoon but a whole month - better than VapeCon - but now MrGSmokeFree wants to end it?  Spoiler!

Reactions: Funny 2


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## MrGSmokeFree

Hooked said:


> @MrGSmokeFree said
> 
> View attachment 142848
> 
> 
> WOW! Not just Sat. afternoon but a whole month - better than VapeCon - but now MrGSmokeFree wants to end it?  Spoiler!


Sorry about my posts thank you for pointing it out.

Reactions: Like 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Raindance

ARYANTO said:


>


Nasty burn boet! Lol!
Does work though.

Regards

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## SmokeyJoe

ARYANTO said:


>


Yeah i couldnt read past the sex part. Im a single dad

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3 | Can relate 2


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## craigb

ARYANTO said:


>


15 seconds? Psssh, overachiever.

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 7


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## MrGSmokeFree



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


----------



## MrGSmokeFree



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1


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## SmokeyJoe

ARYANTO said:


>


Unless you are a scary ass clown lurking in sewers with balloons, then youre screwed

Reactions: Funny 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Raindance

ARYANTO said:


>


Prabably my ex. *****!

Reactions: Funny 4


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## SmokeyJoe

Raindance said:


> Prabably my ex. *****!


Mmm sounds like an interesting story there. Please do tell

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO

in an overseas magazine ... brilliant !

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 1


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## Raindance

SmokeyJoe said:


> Mmm sounds like an interesting story there. Please do tell


Mmmmm, it was obtuse...

Lol

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO

point to ponder...



.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 3 | Winner 1 | Funny 1


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## Hooked

Seen on FB:

"Guys, except for vape gears" 

?? I didn't realise that vape gear is a type of guy.

Reactions: Like 1


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## RainstormZA

Raindance said:


> I'll golf. Just need to borrow somebodies golf bats for the day...
> 
> Regards



Bats... Hehehehehehe

Reactions: Like 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 1


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## Faiyaz Cheulkar

Hooked said:


> View attachment 146394


 its still better than the most ads I have seen in India.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## SmokeyJoe



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 6


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## Christos



Reactions: Funny 5


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## RainstormZA

Christos said:


>


Hahaha classic

Reactions: Agree 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 4


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked

From FB:




It would be strange if an unconscious consumer were on-the-go.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## RainstormZA

Hooked said:


> From FB:
> 
> View attachment 146990
> 
> 
> It would be strange if an unconscious consumer were on-the-go.


Lol environmentally conscious should have been written...

Reactions: Agree 1


----------



## ShamZ

"Lexophile" is a term used to describe those who are clever with words, such as "you can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish" , or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."

A competition to see who can come up with the best lexphillies is held every year in Dubuque, Iowa. The year's winning submissions:

... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

... The batteries were given out free of charge.

... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

... A will is a dead giveaway.

... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

... A boiled egg is hard to beat.

... Police were called to the daycare centre, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

.. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

... A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

... When she saw her first strands of grey hair thought she'd dye.

... Acupuncture is a job well done. That's the point of it.

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 3 | Useful 1


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## craigb

ShamZ said:


> ... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.


Unfortunately too many people (kids) these days won't get this one.

Reactions: Agree 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3


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## Hooked

Hooked said:


> From FB:
> 
> View attachment 146990
> 
> 
> It would be strange if an unconscious consumer were on-the-go.[/QUOT



NOTE: There was NOT an error in the FB post. I PMd Hemporium via FB to make them aware of the "mistake" and their reply is attached. We live and learn! 

Here's the website to which they refer:
https://www.naturespath.com/en-us/blog/what-is-conscious-consumerism/

Reactions: Informative 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 1


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## Christos



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 2


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## Christos



Reactions: Like 4


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## Raindance

ARYANTO said:


>


This has been bothering me a while. Sumo wrestlers do not wear suits, they wear extra heavy duty loin cloths. The image of this bare chested woman wearing only a g-string entering a bar, waving at an idiot dressed as a candy bar and then proceeding to bliksem her ex girlfriend is haunting me.

Regards

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2


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## Hooked

https://www.capetownetc.com/news/brutal-farm-attack-leaves-couple-hospitalised/

“The farm owner managed to get a phone which he used to call for help. It is also unknown if he hurt himself or if he was injured by the suspects,” Van Wyk [South African Police Services spokesperson, FC Van Wyk] said."

"In a tweet by Ian Cameron, Head of Community Safety for Afriforum, he said Ludwig’s [the farm owner] knees were broken using a crowbar ... "

My comment: And the Police spokesperson says that it's "unknown if he hurt himself". Seriously?!

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Christos



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 4


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## Christos



Reactions: Like 4 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 3


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## Hooked

My comment: And she will get what she wants - no problem there!

Reactions: Agree 3


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## RainstormZA

Hooked said:


> View attachment 148404
> 
> 
> My comment: And she will get what she wants - no problem there!


Lol we need the death penalty here. Two armed guards were killed in cold blood. I was so pissed off because this was an attack on their own race and community guards.

Wtf is happening to our country?

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1


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## Faiyaz Cheulkar

RainstormZA said:


> Lol we need the death penalty here. Two armed guards were killed in cold blood. I was so pissed off because this was an attack on their own race and community guards.
> 
> Wtf is happening to our country?


Murderers don't choose targets based on race, caste or religion. 

Sent from aPhone

Reactions: Agree 3 | Disagree 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 1


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## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 4


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## RainstormZA

Hooked said:


> View attachment 149412


I wonder what that tastes like...

Bleeech . Pass.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1


----------



## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 149412


I think ill pass

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2


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## Hooked

Robert Benchley... 

“I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.”

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1


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## Hooked

Freudian slip!

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Raindance

Adephi said:


> View attachment 150754


So to attract that type of girl you need to act like a huge @rsehole?

Regards

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7 | Useful 1


----------



## Armed

That's why girls say guys are full of crap

Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 1


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## Armed

Adephi said:


> View attachment 150754


Every time she dates a new guy is that called a colonoscopy?

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 2 | Informative 1


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## Hooked

Seriously, tho ...

So often "stationery" and "stationary" are used incorrectly. I've seen this twice in as many days, so let's set the record straight.


Station*A*ry = immobile i.e. not moving.
For example: Your car should be stationary at a red robot.

Station*E*ry = pens, pencils, notebooks etc.
For example: Stationery can be bought at the CNA.

*An easy way to remember which is which:
*
How do you spell "pen"? p -* E *- n. Station*E*ry is spelt with an *E.

Comment:*
Spelling errors such as mentioned above slip through very easily, because they're not picked up by a computerised spellcheck. The spellcheck can't be expected to know in which context the word is being used.

Technology is great, but my Mom pulling my ears because I made a spelling mistake was even better

Reactions: Like 4 | Agree 4


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## Salamander

The other mistake which is very often made is "Dual" and "Duel"

Dual - Consisting of 2 parts
Duel - A prearranged contest with deadly weapons between two people in order to settle a point of honour.

There are a lot of seriously offended tanks and mods on this forum!

Reactions: Like 4 | Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## RainstormZA

What really gets me is the use of

Your
You're 

Drives me nuts. They know the difference but insist on using your in every sentence directly.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 2 | Winner 1


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## lesvaches

there their
where were

Reactions: Agree 3


----------



## Rob Fisher

I was never that great at English at school and have always been a bad speller... when spell checkers came into being that was a huge win for me... and now we have "Grammarly for Chrome" which is a real bonus for me.

Reactions: Like 3


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## Faiyaz Cheulkar

Who - whom

Reactions: Agree 1


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## lesvaches

Faiyaz Cheulkar said:


> Who - whom


whomst

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 1


----------



## SmokeyJoe

Patato - Potato

Reactions: Like 1


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## RainstormZA

SmokeyJoe said:


> Patato - Potato


Tomato - taymayto

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Raindance

Then ipo than.

Why you acin so cray cray?

Regards

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked

Rob Fisher said:


> I was never that great at English at school and have always been a bad speller... when spell checkers came into being that was a huge win for me... and now we have "Grammarly for Chrome" which is a real bonus for me.



Be careful of the context though

Reactions: Like 1


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## Hooked

I think that with the advent of text messaging, spelling will eventually change e.g. in 100 years time we'll probably write "you" as "u" and that's what makes language interesting. It's a living, ever-changing entity. 

An example of how language has changed is the connotation of "gay".

Another example from much further back (can't remember which century now) is the current word "apron". This used to "a hapron" but over time the "h" was dropped. Interesting, isn't it?

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1


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## Hooked

Understanding English, when spoken with an accent, can also be difficult sometimes. When I returned to SA after having lived in China for 6 years and Oman for 5, I couldn't understand the African (i.e. "black") accent. My brother and I would go to a restaurant and he'd have to translate for me, because I had no idea what the waiter was saying. Now that I've been back for 3 years my ear has become attuned and I no longer have that problem.

Reactions: Like 2


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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> and that's what makes language interesting. It's a living, ever-changing entity.


I know, I know but rules are rules and not all changes are for the greater good. Some change seeks to destroy the logical basis of a language which is change in the direction of decay, not growth.

Geez, now I sound like one of those old farts that I laughed at when I was young and stupid.

Regards

Reactions: Agree 2


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## Hooked

Raindance said:


> I know, I know but rules are rules and not all changes are for the greater good. Some change seeks to destroy the logical basis of
> a language which is change in the direction of decay, not growth.
> 
> Geez, now I sound like one of those old farts that I laughed at when I was young and stupid.
> 
> Regards



No, you sound like our government (and other countries' governments who want to ban vaping "for the greater good". 

In what way can a linguistic change not be for the greater good? Language is simply a means of communication from sender to receiver. So long as the receiver understands the message that was sent then it has served its purpose.


----------



## Hooked

Faiyaz Cheulkar said:


> Who - whom



It won't be long now before "whom" is dropped, as nowadays it's seldom used. And for whom will the bells then toll?

Reactions: Like 2


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## Hooked

Seen on FB:




Starts with a shining halo and ends with a bad double. Now that was a rapid decline.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> No, you sound like our government (and other countries' governments who want to ban vaping "for the greater good".
> 
> In what way can a linguistic change not be for the greater good? Language is simply a means of communication from sender to receiver. So long as the receiver understands the message that was sent then it has served its purpose.


Ouch! Call the burn unit! Quick! Lol

Ok, challenge accepted but I will need a proper keyboard to adequitly rise to the occasion.

Regards

Reactions: Like 2


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## Hooked

Raindance said:


> Ouch! Call the burn unit! Quick! Lol
> 
> Ok, challenge accepted but I will need a proper keyboard to adequitly rise to the occasion.
> 
> Regards



Sorry @Raindance - I didn't mean to burn you at all - it's just me and my direct speech method lol. I truly didn't mean it in a nasty way. Forgive me?

EDIT
This is the problem with messages - one can't see the person's facial expression or hear the tone of voice.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1


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## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Salamander

It seems like South Africa is (as with most things) trying to reinvent the English language.
Adjectives are getting promoted to nouns - one of the banks is offering loans "for your _new_". New what? 
DSTV is offering it's programming "for this _festive_". 
Is this being lazy or are the scriptwriters that uneducated.

Reactions: Like 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 3


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## Adephi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 151298



That phone number doesn't exist

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked

Adephi said:


> That phone number doesn't exist



And which item were you interested in? Hmm?

Reactions: Like 3


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## Faiyaz Cheulkar

Adephi said:


> That phone number doesn't exist


That's an Indian Mobile phone number . 
If u want to test dial it with the country code ±91 and it will ring.

Reactions: Winner 1


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## Faiyaz Cheulkar

Few more laughs for u

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 2


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## RainstormZA

Hooked said:


> View attachment 152637


Yup that's us here at the farm

Reactions: Like 2


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## Hooked

Yes, it is quite moving if you're leaving the country.

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 1


----------



## lesvaches



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 3 | Funny 1


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## Hooked

lesvaches said:


> View attachment 152653



@lesvaches If I could give this one 100 x Winner ratings I would!

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 2 | Funny 1


----------



## lesvaches

Hooked said:


> @lesvaches If I could give this one 100 x Winner ratings I would!


iKnow Right?

Reactions: Like 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


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## ARYANTO

need to have this printed as large stickers with
a super glue backing , to leave on windsceens...

Reactions: Agree 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 3


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## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 7


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 4 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 4


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## ARYANTO

enough said...

Reactions: Like 3 | Creative 1


----------



## Hooked

From Takealot. "dog not included"- oh, now that's disappointing!

Reactions: Funny 3


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 2


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## Adephi

lesvaches said:


> View attachment 153197


Technically this is correct.

Always when I pop out for some liquid refreshments I tell my wife I'm off to the pharmacy.

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 2


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## ARYANTO

lesvaches said:


> View attachment 153197


me too...

Reactions: Winner 1


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## Humbolt



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Humbolt



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Humbolt

Do not shoplift or else...

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 3 | Optimistic 1


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## Humbolt

Hmmmm...

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Humbolt

Try again

Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 2


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## Humbolt

OK one more

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4 | Can relate 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 1


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## Hooked

Humbolt said:


> OK one more
> 
> View attachment 153266



Ahhhh that's so sweet!

Reactions: Like 2


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## Hooked

A 98-year old woman, who has a brick-and-mortar house for the first time in her life, said
"All my life I have been living like an animal, in a shack that was raining."

What an apt description of a leaking roof!

Reactions: Like 2


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## Hooked

Here's one which @KZOR can use in class:

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 1


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## Hooked

My comment: This isn't even funny - it's sad. And shocking that this could even be published!

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4 | Informative 1


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## ARYANTO

just use toes ?

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 1 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked

Seen on FB:

"culptits neem hul honde plaas toe"

Culptits????

Reactions: Funny 4


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## ARYANTO

''_ We will not take the responsibility if any damage is caused by false use or man-made sabotage.''
from an overseas ad for a mod..._

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> ''_ We will not take the responsibility if any damage is caused by false use or man-made sabotage.''
> from an overseas ad for a mod..._



No problem. I'll get my dogs to sabotage it and then the company will have to take responsibility.

Reactions: Like 1 | Creative 1


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## Hooked

From Ireland:

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked

https://www.msn.com/en-za/lifestyle/lifestyle-news-feature/6-gifs-that-sum-up-2018-perfectly

"No one can deny that it has been one interesting year. From a number of crazy internet trends to the world losing icon after icon, 2018 has been a lengthy, arduous journey. 

Way. To. Long. "

My comment: I don't know the way to Long, but perhaps Google Maps could get me there.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked

FB is a source of endless entertainment for me. Do people not read the posts properly? Take this, for example.

*Here's the ad: *




*And here's a reply from someone:



*
A most patient reply from the advertiser - well done lol
*



*

Reactions: Like 4


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## ARYANTO

Today -outside a church
DEAD SLOW
LIFE CHILDREN

Reactions: Like 3


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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> Today -outside a church
> DEAD SLOW
> LIFE CHILDREN



Weird!

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 2


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## Hooked

Headline on MSN News:

*"Strong winds delay start of #ANCManifesto launch in Durban"*

My comment: I guess they had beans and cabbage for dinner last night.

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked

From My Broadband:

"Zuma is behind ATM"

My comment: no wonder the damn thing isn't working!

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked

FB comment from someone in Betty's Bay, which has recently been ravaged by fires.

"I have just returned from checking on my friends house in Sunnyseas part of Bettys Bay, which escaped with his cat ."

My comment: Never seen a house on the run before. 

Proposed headline:
*Escaped house. Armed with cat. Do not apprehend.*

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Rincewind



Reactions: Like 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked

CMMACKEM said:


> I am vaping Hiss Tank by Cold Fusion Vapor. It tastes like perfume on the finger



Vapers are a kinky lot. @CMMACKEM goes around tasting perfume. I can't help wondering if the perfume is in a bottle or on a body?

Reactions: Funny 4


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## RainstormZA



Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Adephi

Its not the brandy and coke that makes you fat. It's the ice all along!

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 156505


Jefrey’s bay. Where men are men and pigs are frustrated.

Regards

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 2


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## lesvaches

Hooked said:


> View attachment 156505


pork bangers?

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Salamander

This just put me off my breakfast!

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Andre

Someone in that Spar has a great sense of humour @Hooked.

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 6


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## SmokeyJoe



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Adephi



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 4


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 4


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Agree 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Christos

Hooked said:


> View attachment 157449


Irony

Reactions: Agree 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 3 | Winner 2 | Funny 3


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 2 | Can relate 3


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## Hooked

Seen on FB:

"Fresh Free range chickens for sale." 

Oh yes, it's very important to buy fresh free.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Christos

Hooked said:


> Seen on FB:
> 
> "Fresh Free range chickens for sale."
> 
> Oh yes, it's very important to buy fresh free.


Not even old chickens are free.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Adephi



Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 4


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## Hooked

Definitely not a No Clone Zone!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked

Old age - the time of life when actions creak louder than words.

Ray Hattingh (CEO SAARP)

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 4


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## Hooked

I certainly do get an "exited" feeling, because now I can get out of my property!

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Winner 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 1


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## ARYANTO

We need to plant a few of these signs...

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 4 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 1 | Creative 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 2 | Useful 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 3


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## ARYANTO

Classic...

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1


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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> Classic...



@ARYANTO They forgot to add "Keep away from children and pets"

Reactions: Funny 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked

Hooked said:


> View attachment 158440



@Raindance Your reaction - that it's useful - is funnier than the pic!

Reactions: Like 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 4


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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO

just had to post this...

Reactions: Agree 3


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## Raindance

ARYANTO said:


> just had to post this...


That would still be overpaying them. Put them on commission only. Most of them would have to pay in.

Reactions: Agree 3 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 3


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## ARYANTO

interesting bathroom signs...

Reactions: Informative 1 | Creative 2


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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> interesting bathroom signs...



@ARYANTO Do you know which country this is from? And I must say, I immediately saw a bottle of vape juice in the one on the left

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 1


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## Faiyaz Cheulkar

Sent from my SM-A730F using Tapatalk

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 4


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## Hooked

Title of thread on the forum:



This is most useful. I definitely don't want any spitback from Dave Kriegel!

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 4


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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

"Twenty-four new South African words and phrases have been added to the Oxford English Dictionary which reflect the country’s local and lekker cultures.

The Oxford English Dictionary now includes the phrase bunny chow, with a note that the phrase is not related to rabbits but rather refers to a half-loaf of bread filled with curry. Interestingly, the word kif originates from the Arabic word kaif, meaning ‘enjoyment’ or ‘pleasure’, and which is now used to refer to a thing or person being nice, cool, great.

Here are the words now featured in the Oxford English Dictionary:

*1. Amakhosi (noun) *
The word refers to a collection of tribal leaders.

*2. Bunny chow (noun)*
A meal which consists of a half-loaf of bread hollowed out and filled with a spicy, tantalizing vegetable, bean or meat curry.

*3. Deurmekaar (adjective) *
Often expressed to explain that a person is confused or mixed up; “ja well no, they are very deurmekaar“.

*4. District surgeon (noun)*
The official Oxford English Dictionary defines it as a South African doctor appointed to serve in a specific district or area.

*5. Dwaal (noun)*
Locals often use this word to describe absent-mindedness or being in a daydream.

*5. Eina (noun) *
If you are a local, there is no chance you have not used this word to describe the feeling that comes when you stub your toe or hurt yourself in some other way. Eina is used to express a sharp pain or distress.


*6. Gumboot dance (noun) *
The gumboot dance is embedded in local history and culture and is extremely characteristically South African. It is defined as a dance originally performed by mineworkers which mimics military marching and is, naturally, done wearing gumboots.

*7. Howzit (greeting)*
The perfect way to say “hi, how are you?” without wasting time on too many words.

*8. Ingcibi (noun)*
Defined as a person who performs circumcision on young men as part of national rite of passage in Xhosa tradition.

*9. Ja*
There is no simpler way to say yes than ja, pronounced ‘yah’.

* 10. Ja well no fine (phrase)*
A way of saying “Yes, I don’t really care” or “I guess”. A very non-committal phrase.

*11. Kasi (noun and adjective)*
Because “kasi (home) is where the heart is”.

*12. Kif (adjetive)*
“Ja no its kif brah” often used in a phrase to refer to something being cool, fine.

*13. Mzansi (noun) *
A name for South Africa.

*14. Sokkie (adjective and noun) *
The name of a traditional, quintessentially Afrikaans dance.

*15. Sarmie (noun) *
An Afrikaans term that refers to a sandwich.

*16. Shackland (noun)*
An urban shack settlement.

*17. Skedonk (noun) *
An old, battered car.

*18. Spaza (noun) *
An informal convenience shop that sells the basics. Remember when your mum would send you to the nearest spaza shop to purchase a fresh loaf of bread and Chappies, the good old days.

*19. Tickey box (noun)*
A telephone.

*20. Toyi-toyi (noun)*
A classic protest dance.

*21. Traditional healer (noun)*
Often referred to as a sangoma or herbalist.

*22. Ubuntu (noun)*
Defined as the fundamental values of humanity, as well as the essence of African-ness.

*23. Voetstoots (adjective and adverb) *
Referred to as the sale or purchase of a product without a guarantee or warranty on it.

*24. Wine of Origin (noun)*
South Africa is known for its fantastic wines and the phrase “wine of origin” is used to refer to wines which are officially certified as originating from a recognised region.

https://www.capetownetc.com/cape-town/24-south-africanisms-added-to-oxford-dictionary

7 Jan. 2019

Reactions: Like 4 | Thanks 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Adephi

Hooked said:


> Title of thread on the forum:
> View attachment 158810
> 
> 
> This is most useful. I definitely don't want any spitback from Dave Kriegel!



The fine print underneath..

Who is Voopoo? And how does one speak Voopoo?

Reactions: Like 2


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## Hooked

This makes me think of what I said at the vet the other day. I had a Senior Moment and couldn't remember how to ask for them to express my dogs' anal glands, so instead I said, "Could you please pump their bums." Ah well ... I got the message across!

Reactions: Funny 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 4


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## ARYANTO

Hooked said:


> @ARYANTO Do you know which country this is from? And I must say, I immediately saw a bottle of vape juice in the one on the left


Sorry, no , it's totally out of the box .

Reactions: Like 3


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## ARYANTO

must be totally desperate

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Elmien

My favourite meme on using punctuation.

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 3


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## ARYANTO

*Instructions for a TAZER:*
1. first of all hold the long-range electronic anti-riot device, the infrared line of sight alignment goals (five-meter effective range of firing)

2. elbow placed in the stomach height, with the right hand holding the host, left open the insurance switch, the use of his right thumb holding down the switch and infrared sights aim at the head criminals the use of the following areas, touch switches, electric shock dart pin can be Injection uniforms violence criminals.

3. the safety switch can be pushed to mid-range continuous illumination also connected to control power supply shocks, so that unexpected events can be pre-emptive.

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked

Seen on FB:




and someone made this comment:

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked

Whoever wrote the sign had run out of Exclamation juice.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked

And someone's reply was:

"What the fudge! Survival there would be a cakewalk.. Thinking of pudding myself on that island.."

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 4


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 2 | Can relate 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## ARYANTO

The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing- 
Southern Wheels, South Oklahoma City.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Useful 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## ShamZ

Ohm Boys were once all the Rage...

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked

In India

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## lesvaches

Hooked said:


> View attachment 160233


Location please!!

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 5


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## ARYANTO

WTF?

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 3


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## Hooked

"The operational teams as well as YAR were quickly on the scenes after an incident has been reported. The Police also responded quickly within their capabilities. This upsets us all and we want to see the criminals behind bars."

Yes, it must be very upsetting when the Police respond quickly.

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 4 | Agree 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 3


----------



## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked

Classic, @Jean claude Vaaldamme

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## Hooked

Headline:

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> WTF?



@ARYANTO I think they made a spelling/typo mistake. It should be Brestroom

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked

Where else would one make it? In the middle of the mall?

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked

This one's for you and your love  of the Royals, @SmokeyJoe 




I'm truly shocked. I thought Prince Harry was the father??

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked

"Bonang Matheba’s brand new range of Méthode Cap Classique, BNG, is the talk of the town but it appears to have gone into production with a spelling error.

An excerpt from the blurb of Bonang’s Brut Rose bottle reads: “Introducing my latest little guilty pleasure – BNG – a true indulgence for yours truly with an elegent and refreshing taste profile”.

Her reply:

Reactions: Like 1


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## Hooked

Apologies to those who don't understand Afrikaans, but here is a post, followed by the English translation. Not the best translation program, but then, none of them is. By the way, this is a good page to follow if you want to be up to date with what is happening.





I would like to do a profession on all of you on behalf of the page's admins. The people are working very hard to bring you daily, hourly and a "minutes at minutes" update of stakings across sa. It takes a lot of time as well as patience, and only sometimes slipping there an unwanted word by, under of your comments, which admin does not raaksien in time and it causes that, liberales and other klagatte our report at mrk as We are then genoodsaak to remove friends and comments "sensor". and delete.
I ask with hat in hand that you ongure words you want to uiter about the before benadeeldes, rather do in the stilligheid and not on our page.
The Filter to have a great lovely words "block" work well, but there is always a new word that deurglip.
Here then a list of words that you may not type please.
* Kaffir, Kaffir, K4, Mr. K. A fur, inskroefhare, platneus, nagaap, blougums, houtkop, houtie, steenkooldisipel, hotnot,, girl, girl \ e. Slams, coolie, kerriebek * Bosaap, bosbobbejaan, monkey \ apie \ kees, takswaaiers,, snotpikkers, stinkgatte, kaggelkriek,, darky.
Friends to allow this page will be sad since there are thousands of souls that rely on the information.
Thank you very much for your collaboration in this regard.
Friendly regards
Admin.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Hooked

This is what happens when the titles of two articles are condensed into one sentence.

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7 | Creative 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1


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## RainstormZA

Made me laugh. This product contains nicotine.

Really, @Grand Guru???

Reactions: Funny 4


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## SmokeyJoe

ARYANTO said:


>


Tell that to my boss

Reactions: Funny 5 | Can relate 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Elmien

Hooked said:


> View attachment 162849



That forwarded message might have been a calculated move in response to that horrible spelling...

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 1


----------



## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 2


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## Elmien



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 4


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## Elmien



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked

Elmien said:


> View attachment 163149



Aha! I see I have a partner in routing out the source of all evil - incorrect grammar and punctuation! 

Moreover, I love your signature:
"Money can't buy happiness but it can buy lots of books (and vape gear) which is pretty much the same thing."

Reactions: Like 1 | Thanks 1


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## Elmien

Hooked said:


> Aha! I see I have a partner in routing out the source of all evil - incorrect grammar and punctuation!
> 
> Moreover, I love your signature:
> "Money can't buy happiness but it can buy lots of books (and vape gear) which is pretty much the same thing."



Sometimes it is like trying to decipher a foreign text when you read things on the internet. I struggle to understand most posts on Facebook...

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked

"Foreign passengers at Cape Town International Airport grew by 84 000 in 2018 despite the water crisis."


My comment: Were they force-fed some kind of growth hormone?

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Elmien



Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked

https://www.msn.com/en-za/money/new...-max-crash-investigations-zero-in-on-software

“Boeing is expected to roll out a software update to give pilots more control over MCAS and make it less likely to malfunction.” 

LESS likely? Are you kidding? When I’m on a plane I expect the software to be *unlikely* to malfunction!

Reactions: Agree 3 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked

@Rob Fisher I thought this was a vaping forum?

EDIT:

@Daniel is also on the passion wagon...

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Funny 3


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 3


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## Adephi

Dela Rey Steyn said:


>



I think they meant "tougher" because they sure get that right.

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 5


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## cgs



Reactions: Funny 5


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## lesvaches

*kidult*
kid·ult
noun

An adult who has maintained or adopted a lifestyle associated with young people, especially in matters of fashion, entertainment, and recreation. Also called _adultescent_ .
Origin of kidult

Blend of *kid* *adult*

Reactions: Like 2 | Can relate 1


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## Hooked

Seen now on the Internet:

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## Silver

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> View attachment 164059



This is classic @Dela Rey Steyn !

Reactions: Thanks 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 4


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## Christos

https://www.ecigssa.co.za/sa-wins-australia-in-mixoff.t58550/

Can I nominate @Hooked to take delivery of Australia?
I hope you enjoy the spoils of our victory.

Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked

Christos said:


> https://www.ecigssa.co.za/sa-wins-australia-in-mixoff.t58550/
> 
> Can I nominate @Hooked to take delivery of Australia?
> I hope you enjoy the spoils of our victory.



Sure thing @Christos I'll arrange for TCG to collect

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## Christos

Hooked said:


> Sure thing @Christos I'll arrange for TCG to collect


Looking forward to the review once Australia arrives.

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## Adephi

Christos said:


> Looking forward to the review once Australia arrives.



Pros: 
Great out doors

Cons:
Wierd accents
Wierd animals
Wierd habit of tampering with their balls.

Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 1


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## Christos

Adephi said:


> Pros:
> Great out doors
> 
> Cons:
> Wierd accents
> Wierd animals
> Wierd habit of tampering with their balls.


Pro:
Anything that moves can potentially kill you

Reactions: Funny 2


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## ARYANTO

pro :they get New Year before we do...

Reactions: Like 2


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## Christos

ARYANTO said:


> pro :they get New Year before we do...

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Dela Rey Steyn

Apostrophes are important...

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 4


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## Christos

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> Apostrophes are important...


The crow is a nice touch.

Reactions: Agree 3 | Funny 1


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## Dela Rey Steyn

Christos said:


> The crow is a nice touch.



"Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—
Perched, and sat, and nothing more."

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 2


----------



## RainstormZA

Ah the dark dark poetry of Edgar Allan Poe

Reactions: Like 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## Dela Rey Steyn

Edukayshin is good, but Tenders are goodder!!!

Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 3


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## Hooked

Seen on FB




It's actually very interesting that he says "lectrician" and "lectrical". It's often how we speak so perhaps he thinks those are the correct words? One day they might well be!

For example, a few hundred years ago "an apron" used to be "a hapron" but the "h" was dropped at some point. It makes sense. "an apron" is much easier to say than "a hapron".

Reactions: Like 3 | Informative 1


----------



## Raindance

Hooked said:


> Seen on FB
> 
> View attachment 164773
> 
> 
> It's actually very interesting that he says "lectrician" and "lectrical". It's often how we speak so perhaps he thinks those are the correct words? One day they might well be!
> 
> For example, a few hundred years ago "an apron" used to be "a hapron" but the "h" was dropped at some point. It makes sense. "an apron" is much easier to say than "a hapron".


So, he also mentions a COC certificate. If we accept this language evolution stuff, what is he talking about? Hopefully it’s a certificate of compliance certificate (insert ocd attack here) and not the other (seemingly more likely) possibility. 

Gards

Reactions: Like 3


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## lesvaches

Hooked said:


> Seen on FB
> 
> View attachment 164773
> 
> 
> It's actually very interesting that he says "lectrician" and "lectrical". It's often how we speak so perhaps he thinks those are the correct words? One day they might well be!
> 
> For example, a few hundred years ago "an apron" used to be "a hapron" but the "h" was dropped at some point. It makes sense. "an apron" is much easier to say than "a hapron".


if you get a chance watch the (new) film the professor and the madman. i have a feeling you'll like it.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Christos

Raindance said:


> So, he also mentions a COC certificate. If we accept this language evolution stuff, what is he talking about? Hopefully it’s a certificate of compliance certificate (insert ocd attack here) and not the other (seemingly more likely) possibility.
> 
> Gards


It triggers my OCD when people refer to the distribution board as the DB board. 
"Can I inspect your Distrubution Board board?"
If I had the time I would remove three cover and hand them that as the board 

Also, Fournos Bakery. The word fournos means bakery so in essence it's Bakery Bakery.

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 1 | Informative 2


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## RainstormZA

What is Google's first language? The English questions are killing me

Reactions: Like 2


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## supermoto

Coincidence. I'm staying in the town Rupert Brookes was born in.
This place is also the home of one of the greatest sports ever.

Reactions: Like 3


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## RainstormZA

supermoto said:


> Coincidence. I'm staying in the town Rupert Brookes was born in.
> This place is also the home of one of the greatest sports ever.


I first discovered one of his books on holiday in the Drakensberg when I was 17 and loved that book of poems. He's one of the most underrated poets of time.

Reactions: Like 1 | Informative 1


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## Hooked

lesvaches said:


> if you get a chance watch the (new) film the professor and the madman. i have a feeling you'll like it.



Where?

Reactions: Like 1


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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> Where?


Benoni??? Their tops just got a spar!

Reactions: Funny 4


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 1 | Winner 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 6


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 4


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## Christos

ARYANTO said:


>


So its not just me!!!!

Reactions: Funny 3


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## supermoto

RainstormZA said:


> I first discovered one of his books on holiday in the Drakensberg when I was 17 and loved that book of poems. He's one of the most underrated poets of time.


I just found Rupert Brooke's birthplace.

Reactions: Winner 1 | Informative 1


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## ARYANTO

A truth...

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1


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## ARYANTO

supermoto said:


> I just found Rupert Brooke's birthplace.
> View attachment 165250
> View attachment 165251
> View attachment 165252


Born outside on the blue spot ?

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## supermoto

ARYANTO said:


> Born outside on the blue spot ?


Yep, Half way up the outside wall

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked

I know it's meant to be funny, but I've seen "baddest" a few times now on the Internet and to me it just ain't right.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Hooked

One guy replied that he could go and look but it would be quite boring lol

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 3


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## cgs

looking into an artery PAL, when suddenly...




https://www.arteryvapor.com/project/pal-one-pro-kit/

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 2


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 4


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## Hooked

No chicken dinner

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 3


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## Silver

Hooked said:


> View attachment 166356



Classic

Reactions: Like 1


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Chanelr said:


> Hi guys.
> So I am selling a view of my pre-loved items as I don't use them any more.



@Chanelr Seriously? We must pay just to view them?

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Chanelr

Hooked said:


> @Chanelr Seriously? We must pay just to view them?


Sorry I'm confused now?
Edit : My apologies, I see I typed like my ass.

Reactions: Funny 3


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## RoddieJ

Chanelr said:


> Sorry I'm confused now?
> Edit : My apologies, I see I typed like my ass.



You have an ass? For sale?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Chanelr

RoddieJ said:


> You have an ass? For sale?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Hahaha no, it's staying put 
Once again apologies for that typo

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked



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## lesvaches



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 2 | Can relate 1


----------



## Elmien

lesvaches said:


> View attachment 166824



"How To Get Away With Murder" is one of my top searches. It is a great show...

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1


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## RainstormZA

lesvaches said:


> View attachment 166824


Lol Castle comes to mind.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 3


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## Silver

Hooked said:


> View attachment 166874



Just laughing at the play on words - excellent
(Not that the chef died)

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

An FB post from someone in my little town:




I certainly wouldn't want a plot that has been accessed by hyenas for a year already!

Reactions: Like 1


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## ShamZ

Hooked said:


> An FB post from someone in my little town:
> 
> View attachment 167189
> 
> 
> I certainly wouldn't want a plot that has been accessed by hyenas for a year already!


Those pictures could be interesting though

Reactions: Agree 2


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## Hooked

@ShamZ @Room Fogger @Raindance 

These are the pics which were posted on FB

Reactions: Thanks 2 | Informative 2


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 5


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## Hooked

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

A: It's okay. He woke up.

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked

I wonder if it needs to steep after mixing?

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Q: How do trees access the internet?

A: They log in.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4 | Informative 1


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Faiyaz Cheulkar

This was posted on my son's daycare what's app group
"Slm teacher. Please ask teacher Shayna to undress nasia Abit. I dressed her Abit to thick this morning "

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Funny 3


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## Dela Rey Steyn

Ugh! If I read one more "Bro" on the forum, I'm going to vomit...

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## Christos

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> Ugh! If I read one more "Bro" on the forum, I'm going to vomit...


why bro?

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## lesvaches

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> Ugh! If I read one more "Bro" on the forum, I'm going to vomit...


cool story bro

Reactions: Funny 4


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Dela Rey Steyn

Christos said:


> why bro?





lesvaches said:


> cool story bro



This is the mental picture I get when people use Bro the whole time:






and one of layabouts with their pants around their calves for lack of the required knowledge on the correct way to use a belt....

Reactions: Funny 3


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## lesvaches

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> This is the mental picture I get when people use Bro the whole time:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> and one of layabouts with their pants around their calves for lack of the required knowledge on the correct way to use a belt....

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Dela Rey Steyn

lesvaches said:


> View attachment 168508

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked

"Currently the quickest way to get to Australia from Cape Town is to travel to Johannesburg and land in Perth after taking off from OR Tambo ...."

Not the best sentence formation lol. I read it as ""Currently the quickest way to get to Australia from Cape Town is to travel to Johannesburg and land in Perth" before I continued reading and I thought Yep, that sounds like me - no sense of direction.

See full article here

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

I was browsing through Marketplace on FB today and I came across this.




 What did they do with the body?

Reactions: Agree 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked

*Funny News Headlines From Real Newspaper and TV Reports:*

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Weight Watchers Demonstrator Shoplifts Cupcakes

One-Armed Man Applauds The Kindness of Strangers

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Christos

Hooked said:


> I was browsing through Marketplace on FB today and I came across this.
> 
> View attachment 168724
> 
> 
> What did they do with the body?


Maybe they got a better one

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked

Boulderers???

Reactions: Funny 1 | Informative 1


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## ARYANTO

HEE HAA I WILL START A DIAMOND AND DOLLOS [AFRICAN MAGIC ITEMS ,BONES ETC] FARM right there...

Reactions: Like 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked

Hooked said:


> View attachment 168793
> 
> 
> Boulderers???



I thought they had made a mistake with the word "boulderers" and asked them what they meant. Turns out the laugh is on me! 





Interesting! I never knew there was a word for someone who does that.

Reactions: Informative 3


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## Hooked

*News Headlines From Real Newspaper and TV Reports:*

Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant

Rally Against Apathy Draws Small Crowd

Big Rig Carrying Fruit Crashes On 210, Creates Jam

Reactions: Funny 5


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 4


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 2


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Funny 6


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Funny 5


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 4


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


----------



## lesvaches



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5 | Can relate 1


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 5


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 2 | Informative 1


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked

From one of our international vendors:

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked



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## Raindance

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> View attachment 169244


How fitting!

Regards

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## Dela Rey Steyn

Ag lekker "Special" Game....

Reactions: Winner 4 | Funny 2


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## Raindance

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> Ag lekker "Special" Game....


BARGAIN! LOL. Nou waar is daai pille?!

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked

Title of thread: 
*You're Preferred Chipset*

I am my dog's preferred chipset.

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked

Posted by Voopoo on FB:

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 4


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked

*Headline*

Welsh town inclined to think it has world's steepest street

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 3


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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 169973


I like the joke but it is what the younger generation calls a "daddy joke". But whom the hell cares, they will also learn to appreciate good humour once they have kids of their own.

Thanks and regards

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## Hooked

Raindance said:


> I like the joke but it is what the younger generation calls a "daddy joke". But whom the hell cares, they will also learn to appreciate good humour once they have kids of their own.
> 
> Thanks and regards



What on earth is a "daddy joke"? @Raindance

Reactions: Like 2


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## Hooked

*News Headlines From Real Newspaper and TV Reports:*

New Sick Policy Requires 2-Day Notice

Midget Sues Grocer, Cites Belittling Remarks

Slowdown Continues To Accelerate

Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Hooked

Here's another "Daddy joke" for you @Raindance

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked

Ah, so instead of asking for a ransom, kidnappers post For Sale ads.

Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Hooked

It's unnecessary to watch comedy shows on TV - just scroll through FB For Sale groups





Oooohhhh what a great tongue-twister. Go on - try it

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 3


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 4


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Funny 2


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## lesvaches



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked

@RichJB mentioned that Wish SA has their vape stuff in the Healthcare section, which I find interesting.
I've heard of Wish but I've never looked at their site, so I googled it and this is what I found.



Hmmmm I didn't realise that it's a dating site.

Not only dating, but politics too ...



A new South Africa is something I would definitely like to buy!

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 1


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## Hooked

And so it was said ...

Someone who lives close by asked me why my lights are often still on at 2 or 3a.m. I replied that I'm very busy with work for China and that's when the emails start coming in, because when it's 2 a.m. here it's 8a.m. there.

"Oh!" she said, sounding surprised, "I thought you do work for overseas!"

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked

*News Headlines From Real Newspaper and TV Reports:*


Guy Kidnaps Ex-Girlfriend To Get Ironing Done
Mortuary Adds Drive-Through
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


----------



## Hooked

*


*
I'm sure that the dogs will appreciate thermal underwear and @lesvaches could give them some toe socks.

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 2 | Can relate 1


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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 171450


What a beautiful boy!

Regards

Reactions: Agree 2


----------



## Hooked

Raindance said:


> What a beautiful boy!
> 
> Regards



@Raindance How do you know that it's a boy?

Reactions: Agree 1


----------



## Room Fogger

Hooked said:


> @Raindance How do you know that it's a boy?


He’s on the couch, not the phone

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 5


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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> @Raindance How do you know that it's a boy?


Can not say say for-sure without any clear evidence being displayed but GSD’s have different small facial characteristics and expressions between the genders. Around the eyes mostly. He is also quite young (has not grown into his ears yet) and already has quite an impressive ruff. 

Then there is also what @Room Fogger stated.

Regards

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1 | Winner 1


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## RainstormZA

Raindance said:


> Can not say say for-sure without any clear evidence being displayed but GSD’s have different small facial characteristics and expressions between the genders. Around the eyes mostly. He is also quite young (has not grown into his ears yet) and already has quite an impressive ruff.
> 
> Then there is also what @Room Fogger stated.
> 
> Regards


Also looks like a K9 in training.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Hooked

Raindance said:


> Can not say say for-sure without any clear evidence being displayed but GSD’s have different small facial characteristics and expressions between the genders. Around the eyes mostly. He is also quite young (has not grown into his ears yet) and already has quite an impressive ruff.
> 
> Then there is also what @Room Fogger stated.
> 
> Regards



Whew you know your stuff @Raindance!

Reactions: Like 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 4


----------



## Hooked

News headlines:

Winners Of Drunk Driving Contest Announced

Cows Lose Their Jobs As Milk Prices Drop

Homeless Man Under House Arrest

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Three Ambulances Take Blast Victim To Hospital

Reactions: Funny 2


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 1


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## Hooked




----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 1


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## Hooked

*Funny News Headlines*

Mayor Parris To Homeless: Go Home
Author Of Book On _How To Avoid Taxes_ On Trial For Tax Evasion
Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons
Girl Claims Abuse: No Facebook and Phone
State Population To Double By 2040; Babies To Blame

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


----------



## Hooked



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----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 2


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 1


----------



## Adephi



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 3


----------



## Hooked

Funny News Headlines


Man Wants "Hell" Taken Out Of "Hello"
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Meeting On Open Meetings Is Closed

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


----------



## Hooked

Why has the roadblock got outstanding traffic fines? What did it do - stop in a No Stopping zone?

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 1


----------



## Hooked

*ATTENTION VAPING COMMUNITY!!*

Please help @mc_zamo . He's looking for a plum. When is the season is for plums? He must be pretty desperate because he's even willing to trade a mod for it. He's not concerned about the age of the plum, so perhaps an old prune would do. I'm sure the Fruit & Vegetable section at PnP would be willing to issue a certificate of authenticity.



mc_zamo said:


> *Item looking to trade*:I'm looking to trade my Hexohm v3 zombie green splatter edition for a plum. Must have original box and authenticity card
> *
> Condition*:10/10
> *
> Age of the item*:N/A
> *
> Location of item*:jhb
> *
> Delivery/Collection*:collection
> *
> Reason*:wanted a plum for a while

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked

Chaddyvapes25 needs to get rid of some Souring Air which is already 2 months old. How good it be in good condition?? 

Chaddy, watch your spelling. In your original post you left out the 'g' in Souring. Furthermore, I suggest that you open some windows. I know it's been pouring buckets lately here in CT, but as soon as there's a break make a dash for the windows.

Item for Sale :- Sourin Air pod device
Selling Price :- 300
Condition :- 9.5/10
Age of the item :- 2 Months

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked

There's a fine line between politics and vaping. @Baksteen wants to overthrow the government.




What's wrong with Ramaphosa, @Baksteen?

Reactions: Funny 2


----------



## Hooked

@ZiggyC want to sell a QP Design Fatality. I'm not surprised. I'd be too scared to vape something with a design fatality.





@Tristan Swart informs us that 



Leave the guy alone! If that's what Woody wants to vape, then let him vape it! No reason to try another mod if you're happy with the one that you've got.

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Adephi



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked

Just thinking ... most (all?) atties have a "bottom airflow control". I wish the guy who was standing in front of me in the queue this morning had one.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


----------



## CTRiaan

Hooked said:


> View attachment 173488


Made glorious summer by this son of York.

Reactions: Winner 1


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## Hooked

How sad is this. It reminds me of an X-friend who lived in Midrand and complained bitterly about her life, because every morning on her way to work she had to drive past guys hanging around on street corners begging for work. Really.

Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 1


----------



## Hooked

I wouldn't mind that! I'm ... shall we say ... vertically challenged.

Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Hooked

Someone on FB said,

" It's a school in Gwalior. The actual name seems to be Smilly Convent (they have a Facebook page too), though when they spell the name in Hindi it would look like they actually mean 'Smiley'.

From Smilly to Smelly though, is but a short misadventure in spelling for anyone not familiar with the language.

Kudos for effort though - nobody has ever learnt a new language without making mistakes "

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


----------



## Hooked

Headlines:


Caskets Found As Workers Demolish Mausoleum
Local Child Wins Gun From Fundraiser
Hemorrhoids Inspire Respectful Hindsight
No Cause Of Death Determined For Beheading Victim
Utah Poison Control Reminds Not To Take Poison

Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## ARYANTO




----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 2 | Funny 2


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## ARYANTO




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## ARYANTO

*Outside Builder's in Eastgate , follow step 2 ...*

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

“Does anyone remember the Swatch, a watch made in Switzerland? Thank G-d Croatia didn't come up with the idea first. Just imagine if someone were to ask you what time is it? "Oh pardon me while I look at my Crotch."

Quoted from somewhere on the Internet.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Funny headlines:


Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Bugs Flying Around With Wings Are Flying Bugs
Students Cook & Serve Grandparents
Cat Called For Jury Duty
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

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## Hooked

Sleet in Aug / Sept? Who knows ...

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Funny headlines*


Worker Suffers Leg Pain After Crane Operator Drops 800-Pound Ball On His Head
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Experts Are Sure The Dow Will Either Rise Or Decline
Homicide Victims Rarely Talk To Police
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked

From one of our Neighbourhood Watch groups.




I'm sure the premises were alarmed - wouldn't you be?

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## Arthster

Hooked said:


> From one of our Neighbourhood Watch groups.
> 
> View attachment 176996
> 
> 
> I'm sure the premises were alarmed - wouldn't you be?



Had to take 4 rescue tablets, a shot of vodka and a litter of sugar water before they could get anything out of him

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## Hooked

Funny Headlines

Threat Disrupts Plan To Meet About Threats
County To Pay $250,000 To Advertise Lack Of Funds
Meat Head Resigns
Teacher Dies; Board Accepts His Resignation
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

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## Mo_MZ



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## Hooked

Seen on FB:




My comment:
Even chefs have a NO CLONE ZONE

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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked

I wonder what the DL ones look like?

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## Hooked

*Funny Headlines
*

Federal Openness Workshop Closed To Public
Low Pay Reason For Poverty, Study Says
Stabbing Disrupts Class For Anger Management
Pigs Die As House Are Blown Down
Psychics Predict World Didn't End Yesterday

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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 177781


Your local SARS office?

Regards

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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 177781



Sounds like my kind of weekend

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## Hooked

The problem with being a vaper, is that I relate everything to vaping. This headline, for example.



My Tesla (Tesla ONE disposable tank) driver (Pico 25) is most certainly not asleep!

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## Hooked

http://realvapingnews.com/e-cigaret...ease-penis-size-in-men-and-women-p318-174.htm

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## Hooked

http://realvapingnews.com/vaping-from-your-butthole-relieves-constipation-p317-174.htm

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## Hooked

The "best husband"? How many has she had then?

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## Hooked

Posted on FB

*"Weather warning for the Western Cape*
A weather warning has been issued by the South African Weather Service for Thursday, September 12, 2019. Locals are advised to be cautious as localized flooding and gale force winds are expected."

And someone replied, "When will that be?"

Since the date has been mentioned, does she mean the exact time?? The inane comments on FB are hugely amusing, or irritating, depending on my prevailing mood!!

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## Hooked

*IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT*

“The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

And Congratulations you have learnt German within minutes...```”

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## Hooked



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## lesvaches

i read this today:

*Parenting’s New Frontier: What Happens When Your 11-Year-Old Says No to a Smartphone?*
https://www.vogue.com/article/parentings-new-frontier-no-smartphones
i am so optimistic for some of Gen Z (there may be actual hope free from the gas lighting)

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

@Akil is selling a Topside for R650. Whew! That's an expensive Sunday roast!

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## Akil

@Hooked It was actually on the braai. I dont do roasts 

Sent from my LG-H870 using Tapatalk

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Funny Headlines*

Close Look At Dating Finds Men Choose Attractive Women
Safety Meeting Ends In Accident
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Woman Attacks Man With Bowl of Spaghetti
Murderer Says Detective Ruined His Reputation

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Wishing you all a beanful day today!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

lol so amusing how the real brand names have been changed!






Note: "Inspried" by Ferrero Rocher

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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Hooked

*Funny News Headlines*


Madonna Reads Her 2nd Book
Man Ate Stolen Ice Cream Sandwich He Kept In Pants
War Dims Hope for Peace
Kenya Believe It?
City Unsure Why The Sewer Smells

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Remember to punctuate your clouds!!

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## Hooked

In the thread about IQOS, @SparkySA said, "I would rather bite my own arm off."

@Yuvir Punwasi started the very next post by saying, "I tried this at Gateway shopping mall ... "

What is the world coming to? First we have trolley fights on an escalator in a mall and now someone trying to bite his own arm off. Wasn't like that in my day!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Funny Headlines*


Most Earthquake Damage Is Caused By Shaking
Write-In Voting Gets Woman Shot At School Board
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Sewage Spill Kills Fish, But Water Safe To Drink
British People Prefer Facebook To Toilets

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

@Room Fogger Love your "can relate" to the Oxygen headline!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

The above is the not-so-intelligent intro to a video of a shop robbery at gun-point. Firstly, how would one know that someone is a perpetrator until they've done something? Secondly, do all perpetrators wear hats or beanies? Good heavens! From now on I'll stay clear of anyone wearing a beanie. Just as well it's summer!

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## Christos

Hooked said:


> View attachment 180971
> 
> 
> The above is the not-so-intelligent intro to a video of a shop robbery at gun-point. Firstly, how would one know that someone is a perpetrator until they've done something? Secondly, do all perpetrators wear hats or beanies? Good heavens! From now on I'll stay clear of anyone wearing a beanie. Just as well it's summer!


So the theory is as follows:
If you are antisocial and want to avoid all human contact while vaping, wear a beanie and look shifty.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hein



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## Hein



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## Hooked

which implies that she might want more than one child with someone else

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## Hein



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


>




@ARYANTO This would be more appropriate under Reflections, but nevertheless, I can relate to it as this is ME! I'm forever putting people's backs up because of the things I say but hey, if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

@Room Fogger said, "It might in all probability, and I think that it may happen..."

You've covered all your bases @Room Fogger

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## ARYANTO



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## Room Fogger

Hooked said:


> @Room Fogger said, "It might in all probability, and I think that it may happen..."
> 
> You've covered all your bases @Room Fogger


@Hooked .It was late, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it! And I had a glancing blow from the idiot stick.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Trump has said privately impeachment is a “bad thing to have on your resume.” 

No kidding!

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## Hooked



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## supermoto

This is a Quote from a news 24 article.

"The bullet went through his left lung before exiting. Luckily it missed all his important organs," 

So does this mean your lungs are not important?

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 183899


How innovative! A brail phone!

Regards

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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## Faiyaz Cheulkar

supermoto said:


> This is a Quote from a news 24 article.
> 
> "The bullet went through his left lung before exiting. Luckily it missed all his important organs,"
> 
> So does this mean your lungs are not important?


See the ending of the Will Smith movie "focus". It will answer ur question. 

Sent from my SM-A730F using Tapatalk


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## ARYANTO

OH, beardless guy 
where do you scratch
when you are trying to think
or make up your mind ?

BEARD PROMOTIONAL

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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO

WHEN A SHORT PERSON WAVE AT YOU,
IS IT A MICROWAVE ?

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## supermoto

Faiyaz Cheulkar said:


> See the ending of the Will Smith movie "focus". It will answer ur question.
> 
> Sent from my SM-A730F using Tapatalk


Could you summarize please. I never watch movies, I haven't even had a TV in the house for the last 4 years

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## Faiyaz Cheulkar

supermoto said:


> Could you summarize please. I never watch movies, I haven't even had a TV in the house for the last 4 years


will smiths father shoots him in the chest, missing his heart, later plugs the entry and exit of the bullet wound with duct tape and takes him to the hospital. 
Basically, if the bullet hits the heart or any major artery you die almost on the spot, but if it just a punctured lung you might live long enough to reach the hospital.

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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## alex1501



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## Hooked

This is what happens when a translation app is used.

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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> This is what happens when a translation app is used.
> 
> View attachment 185314


Brokeback restaurant?

Regards

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Room Fogger

Hooked said:


> View attachment 185478


Is that the famous sosatie seat?

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO

I want one for work.

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## ARYANTO

@Hooked ...

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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> @Hooked ...




Love it @ARYANTO!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO

This caught my eye this morning...

But amid many covert surveillance exercises and extensive searches of staff at SA's busiest airport, some passengers might not be aware of the rules and regulations when passing through airport security. 

One such incident involved a 10-year-old boy from Wellington, en route to George to visit his Grandparents. Netwerk24 reports Stevie Lucas was on a family trip from New Zealand when OR Tambo staff asked him to take off an offending T-shirt, which shows *a green snake picture draped over his shoulder.*

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> This caught my eye this morning...
> 
> But amid many covert surveillance exercises and extensive searches of staff at SA's busiest airport, some passengers might not be aware of the rules and regulations when passing through airport security.
> 
> One such incident involved a 10-year-old boy from Wellington, en route to George to visit his Grandparents. Netwerk24 reports Stevie Lucas was on a family trip from New Zealand when OR Tambo staff asked him to take off an offending T-shirt, which shows *a green snake picture draped over his shoulder.*



Every minute of every day someone, somewhere, is offended by something. Life has become utterly ridiculous.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Now you can have your vape and eat it.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

In an article about roadworks, it was stated, "Appropriate signage will be in place and road users are requested to adhere to these, as well as to flag personnel’s instructions."

We must flag personnel's instructions? No problem. I'll happily wave a flag at anyone who gives me instructions.

Oh, hyphen, hyphen, where art thou?

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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## Adephi



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## MrGSmokeFree

Thank you for reminding me about this thread @Hooked I forgot about it

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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## CTRiaan



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## Adephi



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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


>



@ARYANTO The Sports Club in Yzerfontein has (had?) something similar. I'll take a pic if it's still there.

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## CTRiaan



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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## ARYANTO



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## alex1501



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## alex1501



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## alex1501



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## Hooked

@Simplicity posted



This is not a human trafficking site!

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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked

"Here are some classic gems from The British civil service annual confidential reports of its officers over the years which have been declassified (published by the Guardian news paper in U.K. )

1. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

2. He is a very quiet officer. He opens his mouth, only to change whichever
foot was previously in there.

3. He is technically sound, but socially impossible.

4. Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has now started to
dig.

5. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them.

6. The officer is tall and that is all !

7. He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire
satisfaction.

8. He has wisdom of the youth and energy of old age.

9. This officer should go far; and the sooner the better.

10. This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

And the final :

A very pushy person - even pushes the door marked 'Pull' !!!! "

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## supermoto

​

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Here's one especially for you @einad5




And for those who might be wondering why it's especially for einad5, you can read his brilliant rendition of Hamlet here.

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## einad5

Hooked said:


> Here's one especially for you @einad5
> 
> 
> And for those who might be wondering why it's especially for einad5, you can read his brilliant rendition of Hamlet here.



 I love it

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Puff(TM) Dragon



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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 188665


I can not agree more! Theres the Queens English and then there’s idiots English!

Regards

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## Raindance

Aka, Microsoft English...

Regards

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## Hooked

Raindance said:


> I can not agree more! Theres the Queens English and then there’s idiots English!
> 
> Regards



Oh, that's not a nice thing to say @Raindance. A mistake is a mistake and one can not call someone an idiot because they made a mistake. If you do, then look in the mirror when you do. In your second sentence there are 3 mistakes.

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## Hooked

Now this (the second question) is what I call idiotic! Not the language, but the question!


----------



## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Hooked

"These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Insults then, had some class!

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill:
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; Bring a friend, if you have one." 

"Cannot possibly attend first night, I will attend the second...If there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.

-----------------

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows, or of some unspeakable disease."
“That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

-----------------

William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway):
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 7


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## Hooked

Posted to one of our local FB groups:




I wish my house were self-catering. I hate cooking!

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## ARYANTO



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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> Oh, that's not a nice thing to say @Raindance. A mistake is a mistake and one can not call someone an idiot because they made a mistake. If you do, then look in the mirror when you do. In your second sentence there are 3 mistakes.


Luckily the burn unit got here fast. Discharged today with limited emotional scarring. Lol.

@Hooked , I’m still practicing being a grumpy old fart so please do not judge me to harshly.

Regards

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## Hooked

Posted in one of our local FB groups:




I see, the holiday home resides in Yzer. I hope it's happy here.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Insults then, had some class!


"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..."
- Oscar Wilde

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Which gear is it, @Hersh13? If it's Reverse I'm not interested.

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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Hooked

@Adephi said, "I'm on facebook but I don't have friends to tag." (referring to Twisp's comp).

To which @Dela Rey Steyn replied, "You should get a new CliQ(ue) of friends @Adephi, your current social life Clearo(ly) doesn't suite you!"

Brilliant play on words!!!!

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## Adephi



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## Hooked

"These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Insults then, had some class!"

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked

Posted on one of our local FB groups:



Oh, for crying out aloud! Any time is OK just don't make a noise

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## Hooked



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## supermoto

another from my favourite auction site..
Think the guy that wrote this needs a smack round the head

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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked

English words that have long been forgotten which we should bring back to daily use. 

1. Snollygoster
A person who has intelligence but no principles, especially a politician.

2. Pig puff
A young woman with the manners of an old one.

3. Fudgel
The act of giving the impression of working but actually doing nothing.

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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

English words that have long been forgotten which we should bring back to daily use. 
https://thelanguagenerds.com/20-awesome-historical-words-we-should-bring-back


*Twatting*
Gossiping idly about unimportant things.

*Grumbletonians*
People who are angry or unhappy with the government.

*Frobly-mobly*
Neither well nor unwell.

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## Hooked

said Communications Minister Stella Ndabeni-Abrahams.

However, she subsequently apologised for her mistake, saying that she had meant to say Paris, not Switzerland.

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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO




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## alex1501

Hooked said:


> English words that have long been forgotten which we should bring back to daily use.
> https://thelanguagenerds.com/20-awesome-historical-words-we-should-bring-back
> 
> 
> *Twatting*
> Gossiping idly about unimportant things.
> 
> *Grumbletonians*
> People who are angry or unhappy with the government.
> 
> *Frobly-mobly*
> Neither well nor unwell.



Personal favorite from the same article:

*Kakistocracy *
Goverment by the least qualified or worst people.

Applicable worldwide.

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## ARYANTO

FOR SALE...
Great condition Vape with 6 vape syrups 1 of them are pure CBD.
Palm Size, 80w output power included is the battery.
The Vape was used 3 times still have the original packaging.

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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Hooked

These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Insults then, had some class!

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked

This is part of an ad for a new shop in Yzer. When I pointed out that the sentences are contradictory (thinking that perhaps it was a translation error, since the owner is Afrikaans), she said that she could just as well have said FOR WOMEN ONLY! Men welcome. I'm still confused. Is it just me?

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## Hooked

Town Hall Station - Sydney

Just wondering ... when did the word "Exit" become difficult to understand?

This is way out, man, way out!!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Here's a few more English words that have long been forgotten which we should bring back to daily use. 

I post just a few at a time, so as not to tax (excuse the pun) anyone's attention span . Apparently the attention span of the human race is declining, particularly when it comes to reading. Most people want pictures, which is why Instagram is so popular. Say no more...

*Lanspresado*
Someone who always conveniently shows up with no money.

*Callipygian*
Having beautiful, well-shaped buttocks.

*Ultracrepidarian*
Somebody who gives opinions about topics they know nothing about. [plenty of those around!!]

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## Hooked

@ARYANTO quoted Simon Cowell as saying, "I literally have not been on my phone for 10 months."

I've never been on my phone. I think it would be rather uncomfortable, so I place it beside or in front of me.

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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Hooked

Recently docked in Durban.

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## Hooked

This is a good writer. He specified *people* vapers so that there would be no confusion between people and animal vapers.

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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Raindance

Adephi said:


> View attachment 191555


Shame! Looks cold...

Regards

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## Hooked

Must have been drunk - too much "grain"?

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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked

Whew, poor guys! They'll be shovelling coal 'til the cows come home!

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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO

Comedy , tragedy ,drama ? no pure B/S.
“The Chinese public is not satisfied with old orthodoxies and stale stories, and neither is the Global Times,” says the Chinese English language newspaper Global Times. So, it appears, it is making up stories that aren’t stale at all – and one tries to link the COVID-19 (coronavirus) outbreak with “mysterious” American lung diseases.
“Flu, vaping or novel coronavirus: experts suspect the US might have failed to identify causes of deaths”, Global Times – [link]

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## Hooked

These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Insults then, had some class!


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder

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## Hooked

I wonder what's for dinner?

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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Insults then, had some class!
> 
> 
> "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
> - Oscar Wilde
> 
> "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination."
> - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
> 
> "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
> - Billy Wilder


Love these! Especially no2 above. 

Regards

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 191716


Nee donner man

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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 191920


Or disposing of a body

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Classy insults:

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx.

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill meeting an opponent in Parliament who blustered at him “I don’t make way for pigs!” Sir Winston “I do”, stepping aside and gesturing him to pass.

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## Hooked

Hooked said:


> *ALERT!*
> 
> Posted on FB 26 mins. ago.
> 
> View attachment 192285
> 
> 
> Cell phones usually do look very official, don't they? I've certainly never seen one in jeans and a T-shirt.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Further info here

I didn't know that ships can also get the virus.

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## ARYANTO

''Wired and wireless keyboards and mouses were available from brands like...''

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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> ''Wired and wireless keyboards and mouses were available from brands like...''



Sounds OK to me @ARYANTO but I'm clearly missing something otherwise you wouldn't have posted it. I must be having a Senior Moment. Do enlighten me!

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## Hooked

Someone describing what it's like to have the Corona virus:




Do people need to have the meaning of "breathe" explained to them?

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

This is from an article about Oman. So reducing number of employees to 30% improves productivity and efficiency - hmmm interesting. Perhaps SA should follow suit.

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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## ARYANTO

Hooked said:


> Sounds OK to me @ARYANTO but I'm clearly missing something otherwise you wouldn't have posted it. I must be having a Senior Moment. Do enlighten me!


1 Mouse = mouse
5 mouses = mice

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## Christos

Hooked said:


> View attachment 191920


Does it come with the plant in the right corner?

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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> 1 Mouse = mouse
> 5 mouses = mice



"Mice" when one refers to the rodent, but I think "mouses" is used when referring to the computer. I'm not sure about that - perhaps someone who is in the computer field could comment here.

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## RoddieJ

Hooked said:


> "Mice" when one refers to the rodent, but I think "mouses" is used when referring to the computer. I'm not sure about that - perhaps someone who is in the computer field could comment here.



I think that in computer speak it’s referred as 1 x mouse and many x missus... Duh


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO

Hooked said:


> "Mice" when one refers to the rodent, but I think "mouses" is used when referring to the computer. I'm not sure about that - perhaps someone who is in the computer field could comment here.


 ok, ok - have your computer mouses 
''In *computer* terms, a *mouse* is a corded or wireless device that moves your *computer's* cursor while you move the *mouse*. In most cases, the plural of *mouse* is "*mice*," but more than one *computer mouse* can also be called "mouses."

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## Hooked



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## alex1501

ARYANTO said:


> ok, ok - have your computer mouses
> ''In *computer* terms, a *mouse* is a corded or wireless device that moves your *computer's* cursor while you move the *mouse*. In most cases, the plural of *mouse* is "*mice*," but more than one *computer mouse* can also be called "mouses."



I really hope there is no plural of this:


but if there is, what would it be? Mice or mouses?

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## Hooked



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## leila_mcdonald

Haha, so many nice memes, guys! Thank you for sharing

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## Hooked

Marx my words, these will come in handy as masks.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 193367

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

This was posted on FB and it is apparently at Checkers, Gordons Bay

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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Stranger

I told my wife to go to the bedroom. Go on all fours on the bed and put one hand just so there, the other hand just so there, her one knee just so there and the other knee just so there. Then we had sex and all the while I was quacking.

She said that was absolutely fantastic, I told her Yes, this is the four spring duck technique.

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## Hooked

Not the best choice of words under the current circumstances, is it?

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## Hooked

And I'm sure they good sellers too!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO

Keep your hands away from these shoes if you don't want stitches.

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## ARYANTO

Poor word choice- EWN ,

*US EYES MAY GRADUAL REOPENING*

The US government's top infectious diseases expert Anthony Fauci says parts of the country could begin easing restrictions in May, but remains cautious.

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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> Poor word choice- EWN ,
> 
> *US EYES MAY GRADUAL REOPENING*
> 
> The US government's top infectious diseases expert Anthony Fauci says parts of the country could begin easing restrictions in May, but remains cautious.



Headlines can be really amusing sometimes! I had to read this one twice to understand what it was saying!

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## vicTor



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## alex1501

vicTor said:


> View attachment 194034



Brilliant

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## ARYANTO

An old story but still funny:
A pensioner who was given a surprise flight in a £70 million ($126m) fighter jet as a retirement present was flung out at 2500 feet after grabbing the ejector seat handle to "steady himself".

The drama is outlined in a newly released report by French aviation investigators which at times reads like a dark comedy script, as it describes how the unidentified 64-year-old panicked during his first flight in the Rafale-B.

Then he shot out at high speed, losing his helmet that had not been fastened around his chin properly, before landing in a field close to the German border.
[nzherald]

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## Hooked

vicTor said:


> View attachment 194034



Excellent!!!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Today amendments were made to the lockdown rules, for example ...




So the kids will have to live on salads?

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## Hooked

Where were they before?

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## ARYANTO

A pastor in KwaDukuza, KwaZulu-Natal, caused outrage in the township when a video of him offering pupils beer to "heal" them circulated.

Mthobisi Khuzwayo, 25, can be seen in the video preaching in tongues as a congregant merrily downs a 750ml bottle of beer.


www.sowetanlive.co.za

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## ARYANTO

She performs her poetry, which is probably why I am not familiar with her work because I don't go out a lot.

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## ARYANTO

She [Mazwai] is currently in the news - is she ever not in the news? - for one of her tweets. In this tweet she revealed the results of what seems to have been a very in-depth and exhaustive research study.

She reveals that SA men have, ahem, small weaponry. When I read her findings, I found myself instinctively reaching for my nether region. To protect it from scrutiny, you see.

Anyway, a number of questions cropped up: how big was her research sample?

Did she confine herself to men of a specific race? Maybe her Caucasian classmates at Rhodes?

What age groups did she look at? (When you hit 60, the weapon suddenly and inexplicably grows bigger, I'm told. 60, here I come!)

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## Hooked



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## alex1501

Hooked said:


> View attachment 194372



Hah, and i is fear me english suck.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO

This toy is a marble.
*CHOKING HAZARD* -- Toy contains a small ball. Not for children under 3 yrs.
AMAZON -warning on marbles...

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## Hooked

Bloemfontein as you've never seen it before. Thanks @Adephi! See here

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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## BeaLea



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 195655


I wanted to reply with a comment about our current covid situation vs our south african constitution but i would ironically be arrested

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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## Adephi



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## Hooked

A recipe says, 



Why on earth do they have to specify the pantry? Do some people keep sugar in other rooms of the house?

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## Raindance



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

https://www.businessinsider.co.za/online-shopping-allowed-level-4-2020-5

"South Africa had been one of the only countries in the world to shut down online e-commerce ..."

one of the only countries?

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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO

Hooked said:


> https://www.businessinsider.co.za/online-shopping-allowed-level-4-2020-5
> 
> "South Africa had been one of the only countries in the world to shut down online e-commerce ..."
> 
> one of the only countries?


And ...''online e-commerce'' - is there offline e-commerce as well?

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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> And ...''online e-commerce'' - is there offline e-commerce as well?




Well done @ARYANTO ! I didn't pick up on that one!

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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## alex1501

Hooked said:


> View attachment 196542



"More detailed plan?
Run faster!"

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

https://www.capetownetc.com/cape-town/weather/rainy-weather-to-continue-in-cape-town

"...Before the rain, however, Cape Town is in for some dry days ahead..." 

Duh!

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Christos

Hooked said:


> View attachment 197945


No it still works.

Ill have my wife confirm as well

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## Hooked



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## Adephi

Those darn Lotters..

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## Hooked



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## Christos

Hooked said:


> View attachment 198124


Ok, but only because the doc said so.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Adephi



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## Grand Guru



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## Adephi



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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5 | Creative 1


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## Grand Guru



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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 198124


Challenge accepted

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## Hooked



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## Room Fogger

Hooked said:


> View attachment 198525


Could not agree more @Hooked , half of my sons vocabulary came from me driving , My naam is Liewe Heksie, my besem is my taxi,..... (rest censored) sung once by my brother was immediate committed to memory, but 2 x2 = took a bit longer. At least their teacher had a sense of humor! , and was great with pronunciation and could edit it a bit to make it less offensive.

Reactions: Like 4 | Funny 2


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## ARYANTO

As Liewe Heksie se besem aan die brand slaan word sy Aspoestertjie

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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 3 | Funny 2


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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Christos



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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## alex1501



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## alex1501



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

We mourn the loss of the following businesses:

A mining company has gone under.
A manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation.
A dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers.
An origami book company has folded.
An aerial installation company has called in the receivers.
A key company has gone into lockdown.
A watchsmith has wound down and called it time.
An Iceland store has had its assets frozen.
A shoe factory has been soled and employees given the boot.
The Heinz factory has been canned as they couldn't ketchup with orders.
The tarmac company has reached the end of the road.
The bread company has run out of dough.
The laundrette has been taken to the cleaners.
The dry cleaners and ironing service has run out of steam.
And finally the AA recovery service are on their way to a breakdown.
Tyre company gone flat.
Swimming club in deep waters !

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 2 | Funny 4


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Takealot has a coffin for sale*
https://www.capetownetc.com/entertainment/takealot-has-a-coffin-for-sale

"The delivery on the coffin is free, but the online store warns potential buyers that it is a non-returnable purchase."

Also note where this article was posted - Cape Town etc./*Entertainment* ! But apparently it's not a hoax - read the responses in the above article.

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 1


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## Adephi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 200530



What's a seman?

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Did you know ...

In 2014, the Oxford English Dictionary christened "vape" the Word of the Year.

https://edition.cnn.com/2014/11/18/living/oxford-word-of-the-year-vape

Reactions: Like 4 | Winner 3


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## Rob Fisher

And did you know @Hooked and I can't sleep!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Stranger

https://www.takealot.com/coffin/PLID69358664

What do they know we don't

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 2


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## Stranger

Just asked my wife for a divorce

She said

NO, why must you be happy.

Reactions: Funny 10


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## Hooked

Stranger said:


> https://www.takealot.com/coffin/PLID69358664
> 
> What do they know we don't



@Stranger I posted about this in this thread, about two posts up

Reactions: Funny 1 | Thanks 1


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## Hooked

Salon in Australia

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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 200889
> 
> 
> Salon in Australia


They are down under you say?

Regards

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## Akil

I laughed way too hard at this 


Hooked said:


> View attachment 200889
> 
> 
> Salon in Australia

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 2 | Funny 1 | Can relate 1


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## Adephi

Stranger said:


> https://www.takealot.com/coffin/PLID69358664
> 
> What do they know we don't



The awkward thing is you can buy it on credit.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## Adephi



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Adephi

https://rekordcenturion.co.za/20158...urglar-shot-bitten-by-dog-found-next-to-road/

“The suspect was shot and bitten by a dog following an alleged failed home invasion.”

You do not mess with the dogs here in Centurion.

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## Hooked

COOKIES OVER BISCUITS
By Shashi Tharoor | From THE WEEK, issue dated September 24, 2017.

As an Indian schooled in the English language, I have long been fascinated by its different variants in use around the world—from the Singaporean “la” suffixed to every sentence to the Australian “G’day” prefixed to every greeting. But most compelling are the multiple differences between British and American English, the two languages fighting for dominance in the Anglophone world.

In my first week on a US university campus, I asked an American where I could post a letter to my parents. “There's a bulletin board at the Student Center,” he replied, “but are you sure you want to post something so personal?” I soon learned that I needed to “mail” letters, not “post” them (even though in the US you mail them at the “post office”).

In Britain, one concludes a restaurant meal by asking for the bill, and conceivably paying by cheque; in America, one asks for the check and pays with bills. 

What the Brits call chips are fries in America; what the Yanks call chips are crisps in Britain.

An English friend of mine says he nearly had a heart attack on a flight in the US when the American pilot announced that the plane would be airborne “momentarily”. In British English, “momentarily” means “for a moment”, and he says he thought the pilot was suggesting an imminent crash after takeoff. In American English, however, “momentarily” means “in a moment”, and the pilot was merely appeasing the passengers. The plane took off, stayed aloft, my friend's heart stopped thudding, and he lived to tell the tale. But he understood the old adage that Britain and the US are countries divided by a common language.

Anecdotes abound about the misunderstandings that arise when foreigners come to the US thinking that they know the language.
In one anecdote, a young man, in the course of a passionate courtship, tells his American girlfriend, “I'll give you a ring tomorrow.” All he meant was that he would call her. But she understood him to have offered betrothal, and the relationship didn't survive the misunderstanding.

Then there's the hotel that failed to understand an English guest who called to say he had left his “trousers in the wardrobe”. Translators had to be summoned before the hotel staff finally cottoned on: “Oh, you've left your pants in the closet. Why didn't you say so in the first place?”

Sometimes you can get the right word but the wrong concept. Our former foreign minister, M.C. Chagla, once ruefully recounted the time he wanted to order a modest bite from room service in a New York hotel and requested sandwiches. “How many do you want?” Chagla was asked. Imagining delicate little triangles of thinly-sliced bread, he replied: “Oh, half-a-dozen should be enough.” Six sandwiches duly arrived, each about a foot long and four inches high.

The language of politics is also not exempt from the politics of language. When a member of parliament in Britain “tables” a resolution, he puts it forward for debate and passage; when an American Congressman tables a resolution, he kills it off. A “moot” point is one the Englishman wants to argue; but if it's moot, the American considers it null and void. Such differences of usage reveal something of the nature of American society. It is no wonder, after all, that while the British “stand” for election, Americans “run” for office.

A British linguist once told a New York audience that whereas a double negative could make a positive, there was no language in the world in which a double positive made a negative. A heckler put paid to his thesis in forthright American: “Yeah, right.”
Yeah, right, indeed. 

With the universality of English largely a result of US global dominance, it's time for other English speakers to accept the American usage is winning worldwide. Even Indians are saying “elevator” and “apartment” rather than “lift” and “flat”. “Cookies” are supplanting “biscuits”.

And as the Americans have taught the rest of us to say: that's O.K. Though not even they can tell us what those initials are meant to represent.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

Conspiracy theory

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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Christos



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Hooked said:


> View attachment 201987



@Raindance Your "useful" tag is funnier than the sign

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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Adephi

And for those that don't get it

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/23/us/politics/person-woman-man-camera-tv-trump.html

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## Grand Guru



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Hooked



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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Point 2 above is something up with which I will not put.

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## Christos



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## Adephi



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## Stranger

The last one is classic, my missus uses a Cz100 9mm

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## Grand Guru



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## Adephi

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 202842



Makes as much sense as the "Highjacking Hotspot" boards we have.

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO

This is definitely me ...

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## ARYANTO



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn

Hooked said:


> View attachment 203126



Just like the toothbrush was invented in Boksburg, if it was invented in any other place, it would probably be a called a teethbrush.....

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## NecroticAngel



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## Adephi

The numberplate is classic

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Adephi

Old but gold

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## LeislB



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## Adephi



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## Christos

Adephi said:


> View attachment 203523


I think this is actually correct because why else would you go to Kansas?

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## Christos



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## Hooked



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## Christos

Hooked said:


> View attachment 203678

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## Christos



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 204086


Well, he isnt wrong

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## Hooked

Australian accent ...

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## Christos



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked

Vaping scene is quiet - only two beginners. Sad.

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## LeislB

Shared in lockdown diaries too but perfect for this thread.

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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6 | Can relate 1


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## Grand Guru



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## Adephi



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Christos

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 204377


Aaaaaaaarggghhh

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 204668


Internet Free Wife - Good Thing
Internet Free WiFi - Not good thing.

Regards

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## Christos

Raindance said:


> Internet Free Wife - Good Thing
> Internet Free WiFi - Not good thing.
> 
> Regards


I think it means she doesn’t come with a cellphone or laptop. That’s additional options you have to purchase from after market suppliers.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Stranger

Who the hell would want a free wife, I can't give away the one I got.

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## Christos

Stranger said:


> Who the hell would want a free wife, I can't give away the one I got.


Depends on condition, i might be interested...

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## Christos

Most people that advertise as “new”

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## Stranger

Good condition, but well used and high mileage.

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## Christos

Stranger said:


> Good condition, but well used and high mileage.


Any rust?

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## Stranger

None at all, thirsty and expensive accessories though, Can be a little noisy under rough conditions.

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## Stranger

If you are prepared to pay delivery, she is all yours

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## Christos

Stranger said:


> If you are prepared to pay delivery, she is all yours


When was the last service done?

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## RenaldoRheeder

Christos said:


> Depends on condition, i might be interested...



Your wife wants to see you in the kitchen 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## RenaldoRheeder

Christos said:


> When was the last service done?



Take two - she said she is coming to you. Or was it "for you"? 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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## Adephi



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Adephi



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Adephi



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## Adephi



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## Adephi



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## Adephi



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Stranger said:


> Who the hell would want a free wife, I can't give away the one I got.




Do you take trade ins ?

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## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 3 | Can relate 4


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Christos



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## Christos



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## Hooked

From FB

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## Christos

Hooked said:


> From FB
> 
> View attachment 206022

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## Stranger

Puff the Magic Dragon said:


> Do you take trade ins ?



Yes please, two 15 year old Japanese models.

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## Christos

Stranger said:


> Yes please, two 15 year old Japanese models.






Here you go. 15 year old Japanese model. 
You have a preference on colour?

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## supermoto

Christos said:


> View attachment 206097
> 
> 
> Here you go. 15 year old Japanese model.
> You have a preference on colour?


Sorry but you've been misled. Thats a British model. Called Robin.

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## Hooked



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## Christos

supermoto said:


> Sorry but you've been misled. Thats a British model. Called Robin.


I’m referring to the tyres.

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Stranger

supermoto said:


> Sorry but you've been misled. Thats a British model. Called Robin.



In that case I am definitely not interested. I was thinking

Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 1


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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Christos

Dela Rey Steyn said:


>

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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## SmokeyJoe

Dela Rey Steyn said:


>


Mmm yummy

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## SmokeyJoe

Dela Rey Steyn said:


>


Dad joke of the month!

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 6


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## DarthBranMuffin

Dela Rey Steyn said:


>



I do hope that is not a recent pic though... with that "sell by" date it is going to do what is says for a couple of days, not just a moment....

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO

PEG DAVIS
News-Leader
The heavens must not have heard that Nassau County has a burn ban in effect as of last week,
sending a lightning strike Tuesday to an area around Lessie Road and County Road 108 and another on Wednesday to Cary State Forest.
The lightning strikes caused two brush fires.

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## ARYANTO

Bring your tired, diseased, insect-infested plants yearning to be free of problems to the UF/IFAS Nassau Extension -
*Florida news leader*

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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Christos



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Christos



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn

Not sure where this shop is, but that Debbie sure is kinky...

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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## M.Adhir

Raindance said:


> Internet Free Wife - Good Thing
> Internet Free WiFi - Not good thing.
> 
> Regards



Late reply. 
But if wife doesn't have a hat on, does it mean she's uncapped

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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## fbb1964

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 208563

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## ARYANTO



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Christos



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked

We should all put this sticker on our cars!

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## Grand Guru



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Christos



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## Christos



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## ARYANTO

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> View attachment 209399


Guess where I'm moving to...

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## ARYANTO

Cow-ch for sale

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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Adephi



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## Adephi



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## Adephi



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## Adephi



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## Dela Rey Steyn

Adephi said:


> View attachment 209992


That's a rip-off, I got my anxiety disorder all on my own for free!

Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 7 | Can relate 2


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## ARYANTO

Cosatu newsletter for today's strike.
''The principle of *no work, no way* must be applied by the departments,” it said.

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Dela Rey Steyn

ARYANTO said:


> Cosatu newsletter for today's strike.
> ''The principle of *no work, no way* must be applied by the departments,” it said.


Think they meant: "*WE DON'T WORK ANYWAY*"

Reactions: Agree 3 | Winner 3 | Funny 2


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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

I like this one!

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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 2 | Funny 2 | Can relate 5


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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8 | Creative 1


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## Hooked



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## Drikusw



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 11


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## Christos

Dela Rey Steyn said:


>

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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Funny 11


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## DarthBranMuffin

Dela Rey Steyn said:


>



After she caught him eating soup with a fork....

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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 13


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## Stranger

Gee, I hope the animals are OK.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 10


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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 211422


And here we see the last remaining backhoe in the wild, his partner perished when the ark went down... and like the kwagga, this will be the last of its breed... such a shame...

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 8


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## AKS

Stranger said:


> Gee, I hope the animals are OK.


Me too by two....

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 7


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## Stranger

DarthBranMuffin said:


> And here we see the last remaining backhoe in the wild, his partner perished when the ark went down... and like the kwagga, this will be the last of its breed... such a shame...



We need a button for " Cleva"

Reactions: Agree 4 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



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## Christos

Hooked said:


> View attachment 211499


Please tell these people to stop  Godzilla has already had a stroke this week..

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 9


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## ARYANTO

Hooked said:


> View attachment 211499


This is Chinese to me

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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 10


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 8 | Creative 1


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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## Drikusw



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 10


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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Raindance

View attachment 211776


Regards

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 9 | Informative 1


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## DarthBranMuffin



Reactions: Like 5 | Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## SmokeyJoe

DarthBranMuffin said:


> View attachment 212082


So my job is drinking copious amount of alcohol 

Sounds about right

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 6 | Can relate 1


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 2 | Funny 8


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## AKS

Hooked said:


> View attachment 212397


No problem.

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## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 10 | Informative 1 | Creative 1


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 14


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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked



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## AKS

....butt vape,there’s more!

Reactions: Funny 11


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## Hooked

If this sign had truly been put up many years ago, before a drought, then this is actually very sad, not funny.

Reactions: Agree 6 | Optimistic 1


----------



## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 1 | Funny 11


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## RoddieJ

Puff the Magic Dragon said:


>



That’s what the tender called for...

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 9


----------



## Raindance

RoddieJ said:


> That’s what the tender called for...


And rightly so. Worth every cent of the 185k it cost the taxpayer.

Regards

Reactions: Funny 7


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## SmokeyJoe

Puff the Magic Dragon said:


>


So is Colege

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 10


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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn

English is easy...

Reactions: Winner 6 | Funny 4


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## AKS



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## SmokeyJoe

AKS said:


> View attachment 213019


And so it happened. The orange man has lost to Biden

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 2 | Funny 4


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## Stranger



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 8


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## Stranger



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 8


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## Stranger



Reactions: Funny 10


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## SmokeyJoe

Stranger said:


>


Send me a google pin please

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 8


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## Dela Rey Steyn

SmokeyJoe said:


> Send me a google pin please


Sounds like a good way to spend a weekend...

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 2 | Funny 7 | Can relate 1


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## AKS

Hooked said:


> View attachment 214438

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## Drikusw



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 12


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## ARYANTO

Puff the Magic Dragon said:


>


indeed...

Reactions: Funny 4


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Dela Rey Steyn

I'm done. Going to board the first shuttle off this planet

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 5 | Funny 5


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## Grand Guru

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> I'm done. Going to board the first shuttle off this planet


That’s why I’m out of social media...

Reactions: Agree 4 | Winner 1 | Funny 2


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 10 | Can relate 1


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7 | Can relate 4


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## Dela Rey Steyn

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 214812


2 September 2010, GE Midrand offices, 2am. Had to download a Ghost image to reload a bunch of preloaded Dell laptops that had issues with the image. It eventually only took 8hours to complete the download.... Still have Nam flashbacks to that roll-out. Least amount of sleep I've every had in a 3 week period!

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## Grand Guru



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Drikusw



Reactions: Agree 4 | Winner 2 | Funny 7


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## Hooked



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## Raindance

Dela Rey Steyn said:


>


Nigh man djy’s vekeet, we use it all the time here in Cape town.

Regards

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Dela Rey Steyn

Hooked said:


> View attachment 215485


I met a guy a while back that talked a 'potapoes'...

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn

Nice little shop here in Venda

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

In Yzer we have to call the truck to pump out our sewerage, but here it's called the "honey truck". However, I didn't know that and shortly after I'd moved here and booked my first removal, the municipality phoned me to say that the honey truck couldn't come to my house that day, but it would be here the following day. "Honey truck??? I didn't order any honey! I said.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 12


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## Hooked



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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 217372


So that’s why they call them “bull bars”.

Regards

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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked



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## Drikusw



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 8


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## alex1501

Written by one of the local retailers:*

"PRODUCT DESCRIPTION*
The Vaporesso GTX One vape mod is a vape mod,"

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 10 | Can relate 1


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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Dela Rey Steyn

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 218721


Don't drink and drive! Stop en vat 'n slukkie!

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO

Hooked said:


> View attachment 218743


Ours on the farm had a wooden door , no need for curtains ?

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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

I'm sure the owners are far more distressed than the properties.

Reactions: Agree 4


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## Hooked



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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 219290


Fortunately pedestrians are usually transported wedged in my radiator grill, not inside the vehicle.

regards

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



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## DarthBranMuffin



Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 6 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Whew! Cyclists have become an aggressive lot. They really ought to stop attacking hijacking people in the bushes.

Reactions: Funny 11


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 220391



Mmmmhhh, what am I going to have today... Dog or Nails?

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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 11


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 9


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## Intuthu Kagesi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 3 | Funny 6


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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru

Hooked said:


> View attachment 221005


it reminded me of this!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 4 | Agree 2 | Winner 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 7


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 4 | Funny 7


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 9 | Winner 1


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Adephi



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2


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## Room Fogger

Hooked said:


> View attachment 222060


Heavy motor vehicles I think if I remember correctly.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 3 | Informative 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 9


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## ARYANTO

Hooked said:


> View attachment 222060


Groblersdal ! my home town .

Reactions: Like 5


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 222060



It's a permanent warning sign that there are heavy motor vehicles on the road

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 2 | Informative 1


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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 222060


Hold My Vape

Regards

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 8


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 8


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 9


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## Grand Guru

Marketing skills

Reactions: Funny 10


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 11


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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 8


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## ARYANTO

@Intuthu Kagesi ... you'll love this [restaurant in China]

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 10


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 8


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 10


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 11


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## Grand Guru

B.S. The only answer to be in that movie is money!

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 6


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## ARYANTO

@Intuthu Kagesi

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 5 | Funny 2


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## Intuthu Kagesi

ARYANTO said:


> @Intuthu Kagesi



*Occupandi Temporis*

I Love it! Sieze the moment and enjoy it to the full!

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 1


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 10


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 7 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 9


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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 5 | Winner 3 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 9


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## zadiac

Adephi said:


> View attachment 221904



Must be SA

Reactions: Like 3


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## zadiac

Hooked said:


> View attachment 223229



1. Neither black or white are colours. Black is the absence of light and white is comprised of all the hues on the visible light spectrum.
2. You didn't use the soap properly.
3. If his business is doing well, no. If his business is doing poor, yes.

Did I pass?

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked

zadiac said:


> 1. Neither black or white are colours. Black is the absence of light and white is comprised of all the hues on the visible light spectrum.
> 2. You didn't use the soap properly.
> 3. If his business is doing well, no. If his business is doing poor, yes.
> 
> Did I pass?



@zadiac I'm proud of you! You're a good student.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Like 4 | Agree 1 | Winner 3 | Funny 3


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 9


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 8


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## Grand Guru

Our roadworks

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7 | Can relate 2


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 4 | Funny 6


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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9 | Creative 1


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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO

Perhaps the people at the Department of Basic Education have taken to heart the 'Basic' in the department's actual name.
Rod Baker

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1


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## Intuthu Kagesi

ARYANTO said:


> Perhaps the people at the Department of Basic Education have taken to heart the 'Basic' in the department's actual name.
> Rod Baker



I'd love to know how Cyrie and his sidekick Angie are going to get computers and robotics rolled out to schools, when they can't even get basic reading writing and arithmetic right
O wait ... they'll just drop both the standard of education and advancement criterion AGAIN  ... better still; Why not just issue bachelor degrees at birth, and save the doctorates for puberty.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 3


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## Drikusw



Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 6


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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 223581


There a shop in JHB central that sell these. AK is a massive sub, enough for 4 people. Damn delicious

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 4 | Informative 2


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

SmokeyJoe said:


> There a shop in JHB central that sell these. AK is a massive sub, enough for 4 people. Damn delicious


It's a franchise called Akhalwaya's

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Informative 3


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## ARYANTO

Saw this on My Broadband:

The police officer conducted an inspection of the food parcel and he found a pack of Pacific cigarettes with two packets containing* 40 brownish tablets* with the word 'boss' inscribed on them.”
Mbele said *48 tablets* — suspected to be Mandrax valued at R2,400 — were confiscated and the man arrested for being in possession of drugs.
SO , where where did the surplus 8 pills came from ?

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 11


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## Adephi



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 10


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## Hooked



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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 223889


Sounds about right

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 11


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 12


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## Dela Rey Steyn

Hooked said:


> View attachment 224048



On my way to Knysna......

Reactions: Agree 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 8


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 6 | Informative 1 | Optimistic 1


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 2 | Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 4 | Funny 1 | Thanks 1


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

Grand Guru said:


>


Where's the Irony button

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 5


----------



## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 7


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## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 11


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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 4 | Agree 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Adephi



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 9


----------



## Adephi



Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 10


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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 6 | Informative 2


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## Hooked

At last! I'm anything but normal and I feel excluded every time I buy something!!

Reactions: Funny 8 | Can relate 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 7


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## DarthBranMuffin

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> View attachment 224637



I don't have any veggie jokes, but orange you glad we didn't start with fruit jokes?

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Cape Town's wind needs a PIF! Anyone willing to help?

Reactions: Funny 10


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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 3 | Funny 6 | Can relate 1


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## Adephi



Reactions: Winner 4 | Funny 9


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## Hooked



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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 224821



How many people had to go over that railing before they had to put that sign on there?

Darwin Awards candidates, all of them...

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 5 | Funny 2


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

DarthBranMuffin said:


> How many people had to go over that railing before they had to put that sign on there?
> 
> Darwin Awards candidates, all of them...



The world is certainly getting stupider, and we're not helping any by warning potential Darwin Award candidates to refrain from doing the very things that would cull them, raising the global intelligence with each trimming ... I say revert to what we had in the 70's and back as warnings go, (_I don't recall many_?), and let stupidity take care of itself

Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 2


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## Drikusw



Reactions: Like 7 | Winner 3


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## ARYANTO

This on another forum - petrified me ... pun intended 

''_I mentioned I'm 32 days into no combustibles and only three puffs of e-cig. Was smoking a pack a day for 15 years on and off prior.

About a week into this 32 day streak I have had morning erections just about every morning. Have not had that in a long time. I'm also doing something called mouth taping which one benefit can be
"increase your intake of nitric oxide, which is crucial for brain function, cardiovascular health, and overall blood oxygen levels"

And we all know heart health can promote better and stronger erections. I absolutely know stopping combustibles is helping in this area. I am curious if the same is true by going to -e-cigs. I did a search and it seems to be the case but I figured I'd ask again. Which would mean that the nicotine may not be the issue regarding erection health and it's just the other stuff about smoking? _''

Reactions: Funny 9


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## Intuthu Kagesi

ARYANTO said:


> This on another forum - petrified me ... pun intended
> 
> ''_I mentioned I'm 32 days into no combustibles and only three puffs of e-cig. Was smoking a pack a day for 15 years on and off prior.
> 
> About a week into this 32 day streak I have had morning erections just about every morning. Have not had that in a long time. I'm also doing something called mouth taping which one benefit can be
> "increase your intake of nitric oxide, which is crucial for brain function, cardiovascular health, and overall blood oxygen levels"
> 
> And we all know heart health can promote better and stronger erections. I absolutely know stopping combustibles is helping in this area. I am curious if the same is true by going to -e-cigs. I did a search and it seems to be the case but I figured I'd ask again. Which would mean that the nicotine may not be the issue regarding erection health and it's just the other stuff about smoking? _''



WTF

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 224901


Eish  ... them poor Catholic Altar boys

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked

And so it was said ...

*Australian TV host makes erroneous blunder: ‘Prince Philip moved to jail!'*
https://www.thenews.com.pk/latest/8...erroneous-blunder-prince-philip-moved-to-jail


"An Australian TV presenter recently made the entire nation chuckle over her mistake on live TV regarding Prince Philip being moved to jail.

The incident occurred during a live feed for the Today programme hosted by Ally Langdon.

According to a report by Express, she claimed, “[The Queen] must be saddened by [the interview] too. Prince Andrew, this, and of course her husband is in jail…”

No sooner did the words escape her mouth did she grow red in embarrassment and clarify, “hospital, let’s go with the hospital.”

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 6


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## Drikusw



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 7


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Winner 5 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 10


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## Hooked

In case of danger, flee to a post on social media.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 2 | Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


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## ARYANTO

''The World Health Organization noted in 2019 that although worldwide cigarette usage had dropped by around 60 million people between 2000 and 2018, that was mostly due to women who gave up *[the ghost]*.'' 
apologies - @ fbb1964

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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Don't ever become stranded on a motorway in front of your children.

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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser.*

Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left?

BECAUSE:
When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right! And that's where women's buttons have remained since.

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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn

Hooked said:


> View attachment 225951



Two of my favourite C words....

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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked

So now a music teacher must also be able to sing? They're not asking for much, are they?

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## Hooked



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## AKS



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## Hooked

I see that the cargo ship, the Ever Given, which was stuck in the Suez Canal has finally been freed. I wonder if they're going to rename her Never Forgiven?

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## ARYANTO

Hooked said:


> I see that the cargo ship, the Ever Given, which was stuck in the Suez Canal has finally been freed. I wonder if they're going to rename her Never Forgiven?


From @Dela Rey Steyn ...

Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 8


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## Hooked

Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser

WHY:
Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses?

BECAUSE:
In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.

Reactions: Winner 1 | Informative 8


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## Grand Guru

I found myself behind this guy on my way to work today. Needless to say he managed to make me slow down and change lanes. I thought his message was loud and clear!

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 10


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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

Words of wisdom

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked

A recent ad posted on FB

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## Adephi



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked

So if you don't like reading you don't get discount?

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## Adephi



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

WHY:
Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called 'passing the buck'?

BECAUSE:
In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing, he would 'pass the buck' to the next player.

Reactions: Like 3 | Informative 8


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## Drikusw



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 7


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## DarthBranMuffin

Someone actualy had to keep watch before the sign went up...

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## DarthBranMuffin

Steps are super dangerous!

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## Hooked



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## Drikusw



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## Hooked

@Timwis, @RainstormZA and any other UK peeps, you must be delighted that the UK's pubs and shops re-open today!

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## Hooked

Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser

WHY:
Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?

BECAUSE:
It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink.
To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. 
Both men would drink it simultaneously. 
When a guest trusted his host, he would only touch or clink the host's glass with his own.

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## RainstormZA

Hooked said:


> @Timwis, @RainstormZA and any other UK peeps, you must be delighted that the UK's pubs and shops re-open today!
> 
> View attachment 227285


Not that it makes any difference, I don’t really go out to pubs but geez off work for a year is just enough to book me into a mental asylum. I want to go back to work but my current work is keeping me on the sidelines. I’ll pm you details as I can’t post on public forums yet

Reactions: Like 1


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## DarthBranMuffin



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

For those who have asked what it can do here's your answer:

Boost your goals 
Win a R1,700 hamper
Hmmmm ... not bad!

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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

To all the Google doctors out there!

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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

WHY:
Why are people in the public eye said to be 'in the limelight’?

BECAUSE:
Invented in 1825, limelight was used in lighthouses and cheaters by burning a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the theatre, a performer 'in the limelight' was the center of attention.

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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> *Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*
> 
> WHY:
> Why are people in the public eye said to be 'in the limelight’?
> 
> BECAUSE:
> Invented in 1825, limelight was used in lighthouses and cheaters by burning a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the theatre, a performer 'in the limelight' was the center of attention.


Cheaters never win, they get enlightened in theatres with autocorrect....

Regards

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked

So you must have a criminal record before drinking and driving?

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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

How appalling that SA engineers do not have water.

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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 228002


Me: So Mable which shampoo are you using? 
Mable: Cow sh1t

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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 228200
> 
> 
> How appalling that SA engineers do not have water.


Im actually livid about this one. Its widly known that SA has some of the best engineers in the world, why in the hell use cuban engineers, while in SA our engineers are struggling to get a job. Especially since Cuba is so far behind in terms of education due to Communist Rule

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## Stranger

No now, don't knock the Cubans, they actually have first class Doctors and engineers. We know why SA engineers are not employed, let's not go there.

Reactions: Like 3


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## Hooked



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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 228267


I bloody hope not

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked

He should have conserved his energy.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

https://www.all4women.co.za/2224074/celebs/royals/prince-harrys-new-title-is-nsfw-in-japan
22 April 2021

*"Prince Harry’s new job title is the Japanese slang for penis.*

The 36-year-old royal has been named Chief Impact Officer – or CHIMPO – at an American start up company, BetterUp Inc., which offers online coaching to companies and individuals to support mental health and wellness, but the new name has caused a few laughs over in Japan, where the acronym translates into slang used to describe a part of the male anatomy...

According to Japanese news site Sora News 24, one person wrote online: “Imagine if he came to Japan and introduced himself as a ‘chimpo’ to officials? I’d love to see their faces!” ... "

Reactions: Funny 5


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## SmokeyJoe

Always knew the Royals were a bunch of dicks

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## Hooked

A 14 Carrot diamond

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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked

*Strange Place Names:*

Hat Head (Australia)
Condom (France)
Crackpot (England)
Hell (Norway)
Sexmoan (Philippines)
Sexi (Peru)
Dum Dum (India)
Vagina (Russia)
Twatt (United Kingdom)
Tittybong (Australia)

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## Hooked

"We are selling furniture for more information WhatsApp ULRICH"

Wow! They must need information really badly!!

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## Hooked



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## DarthBranMuffin



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## Hooked

Obviously. If they're memorable they wouldn't be forgotten, would they?

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## Hooked

English words that have long been forgotten...

*Philogrobilized*
Having a hangover but without admitting to actually drinking.

*Grufeling*
To lie wrapped up and in a comfortable manner.

*Uhtceare*
Lying awake and worrying about the day ahead.

*Kakistocracy*
Goverment by the least qualified or worst people.

*Perendinate*
To put off until the day after tomorrow.

Reactions: Like 5 | Winner 1 | Funny 1 | Informative 1


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## Stranger

Every one of those words applied to me on Sunday and Monday after spending my birthday at a brewery.

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## Adephi



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## DarthBranMuffin

Adephi said:


> View attachment 228554



Did JZ write that one out?

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## Adephi

DarthBranMuffin said:


> Did JZ write that one out?


I think the guy on the right did

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday School quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade in Ohio. They were collected by two teachers over a period of three years. Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and, of course, spelling. *



Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Since then no one ever found it.

Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but the commandos made it.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
A good pun is its own reword.
The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
How good are you at Powerpoint? Because I excel at it.
My math teacher called me average. How mean!

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## Drikusw



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## Hooked

Drikusw said:


> View attachment 228667



Which one? Un-Trump?


----------



## Hooked

Not very ingenious, was it?

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## DarthBranMuffin



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## ARYANTO

*Kakistocracy*
Goverment by the least qualified or worst people...sounds so familiar

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## ARYANTO

Hooked said:


> View attachment 228715


TOO cold

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## ARYANTO



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 1 | Winner 3 | Can relate 1


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## ARYANTO

*The designer of this anti-smoking campaign who forgot they were designing for a school bus.*

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser.*

*WHY:*
Why is someone who is feeling great 'on cloud nine'?

*BECAUSE*
Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud. If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares.

Reactions: Like 3 | Informative 2


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## Stranger

Hooked said:


> *Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser.*
> 
> *WHY:*
> Why is someone who is feeling great 'on cloud nine'?
> 
> *BECAUSE*
> Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud. If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares.



or your German girlfriend scolds you for vaping in the bathroom

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Dela Rey Steyn

Hooked said:


> English words that have long been forgotten...
> 
> 
> 
> *Kakistocracy
> Goverment by the least qualified or worst people.
> *



Hey look, they have an official word for the ANC.....

Reactions: Funny 9


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## SmokeyJoe

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> Hey look, they have an official word for the ANC.....


Always knew k@k was relevant

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1


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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 228872


What a plank

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## Munro31

And this is the "strongest" nation on earth???? Boggles my mind!

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Adephi



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## Hooked

There you have it. You can keep a horse in your garden as "permission is compulsory."

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## Hooked

"Bill and Melinda Gates have announced their divorce after 27 years of marriage, saying "we no longer believe we can grow together as a couple". "After a great deal of thought and a lot of work on our relationship, we have made the decision to end our marriage," the pair tweeted.

[My comment: Clearly rebooting didn't help.]

Others' comments:

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked

*English words that have long been forgotten which we should bring back to daily use. *

Dysania
The extreme difficulty one experiences when getting out of bed in the morning.

Groke
Someone who stares at you when you eat hoping you will share. [my brother's dog!]

Shivviness
The uncomfortable feeling of wearing new underwear.

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 1 | Informative 3


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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> "Bill and Melinda Gates have announced their divorce after 27 years of marriage, saying "we no longer believe we can grow together as a couple". "After a great deal of thought and a lot of work on our relationship, we have made the decision to end our marriage," the pair tweeted.
> 
> [My comment: Clearly rebooting didn't help.]
> 
> Others' comments:
> 
> View attachment 229022
> View attachment 229023


First Nokia, now the wife too...

Regards

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> "Bill and Melinda Gates have announced their divorce after 27 years of marriage, saying "we no longer believe we can grow together as a couple". "After a great deal of thought and a lot of work on our relationship, we have made the decision to end our marriage," the pair tweeted.
> 
> [My comment: Clearly rebooting didn't help.]
> 
> Others' comments:
> 
> View attachment 229022
> View attachment 229023


First Nokia, now the wife too...

Regards

Reactions: Funny 2


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## SmokeyJoe

Maybe Bill needs to restart

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 4


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## Stranger

Ctrl - Alt- Del

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday School quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade in Ohio. They were collected by two teachers over a period of three years. *

Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was a actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds Like he was sort of busy too.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.

Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

Reactions: Funny 10


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## Hooked

From FB:




There are 52 - which one would you like?

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Gravity jokes are getting old, but I fall for them every time.

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me. It means a lot.

I used to hate maths but then I realised decimals have a point.

Since I’ve quit soccer, I’ve lost my goal in life.

I wanted to be an astronaut but my parents told me the sky was the limit.

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 229248


Alaskan Shepard, female I think.

Regards

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 6


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## Munro31

Hooked said:


> View attachment 229248


Dit is n moorse hond

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Drikusw



Reactions: Like 6 | Agree 2


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## Hooked

Drikusw said:


> View attachment 229267



This would be a good one for the Reflections thread @Drikusw. The And so it was Writ thread is for linguistic humour i.e. funny things that were said, double-meanings, grammatical / Spelling mistakes which are funny or change the meaning.

Reactions: Thanks 1


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*
In golf, where did the term 'Caddie' come from?

*BECAUSE:*
When Mary Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl, Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scots game 'golf.'
He had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced 'ca-day' and the Scots changed it into ‘caddie.’

Reactions: Like 2 | Informative 6


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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*English words that have long been forgotten which we should bring back to daily use. *


Cacoethes
The irresistible urge to do something inadvisable.

Slugabed
A person who stays in bed after the usual or proper time to get up.

Abligurition
Spending lavish amounts of money on food.

Reactions: Informative 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 2 | Funny 3


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## Hooked

*The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday School quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade in Ohio. They were collected by two teachers over a period of three years. *

In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out "Same to you, Brutus."

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah!" and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked

Hope she finds her!

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

- I tried suing the airport for misplacing my luggage, but in the end, I lost my case.
- I felt lonely, so I bought some shares. It’s nicer having some company.
- There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator – and only a fraction of people will find that funny.
- The only thing flat-earthers have to fear is sphere itself.
- I wanted to grow herbs, but I couldn’t find the thyme.

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked

A heavy key, in spite of its size!

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----------



## Hooked

Shetland Islands, Scotland

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked

How enterprising of birds to start riding scooters.

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*

Why are many coin collection jar banks shaped like pigs?

*BECAUSE:*

Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called 'pygg'. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as 'pygg banks.' 

When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on!

Reactions: Like 3 | Informative 5


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## Grand Guru

Here is a word I learnt this weekend.

*ultracrepidarianism*
the habit of giving opinions and advice on matters outside of one’s knowledge or competence. — *ultracrepidarian*, _n., adj._

Reactions: Like 4 | Winner 1 | Informative 2


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner.*

Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? ( UK )
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres. Take lots of water.

Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 5


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## Hooked

Not the best metaphor, is it?

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday School quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade in Ohio. They were collected by two teachers over a period of three years. *

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. 

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men. 

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.

Reactions: Funny 9


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

- The gym had to close as it just wasn’t working out.
- I used to be a transplant surgeon, but my heart just wasn’t in it.
- Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie!
- A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, the nurse replied “No change yet.”
- What’s so great about whiteboards? If you think about it, they’re pretty re-markable!

Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 7


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


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## DarthBranMuffin

So many questions... are they originals, or are they copies, and why??

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 4


----------



## Hooked

Note to self: Don't make lunch during a terrifying ordeal.

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*
Why are there pom-poms on winter hats?

*BECAUSE:*
They actually came from the Scandinavian region. When knitting was very common, they had to gather the seams together. This was where the pom-poms came in.

Reactions: Like 2 | Informative 5


----------



## Hooked

If someone wants to steal something from my bottom line they're welcome!

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*What mothers said:*

COLUMBUS'S MOTHER: 
I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You could have written.

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: 
Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked

I'm glad that they love doing deliveries.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner.*

Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa ? ( France )
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa ? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town , Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific. A-fri-ca is
the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not... oh forget it Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 4 | Funny 5


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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 230646



Tom Cruise named a car at last.... or was it ex president JZ?

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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7 | Creative 1


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7 | Creative 1


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8 | Optimistic 1


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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday School quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade in Ohio. They were collected by two teachers over a period of three years. *

Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by Rubbing two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands... Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 4 | Creative 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 2 | Funny 4


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## Hooked

I don't think I'll be trying this one.

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

- Geology rocks, but geography is where it’s at!
- The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
- Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
- I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.
- I’ve been getting really claustrophobic in elevators, so I’ve started taking steps to avoid it.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*
Why does a wine bottle have a dip at the bottom?

*BECAUSE:*
The dip at the bottom of the bottle is known as the punt or the kick-up. It helps the bottle stand on its own and gives it the strength to hold in sparkling wine.

Reactions: Like 3 | Informative 5


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## ARYANTO

Hooked said:


> *Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*
> 
> *WHY:*
> Why does a wine bottle have a dip at the bottom?
> 
> *BECAUSE:*
> The dip at the bottom of the bottle is known as the punt or the kick-up. It helps the bottle stand on its own and gives it the strength to hold in sparkling wine.


And if you are a good sommelier\waiter\host , you put your thumb in the punt - support the bottle with your other fingers and pour like that .

Reactions: Like 4 | Informative 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked

*What mothers said:*

*Napoleon’s mother:*
All right,Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it.

*Goldilocks’ mother:*
I've got a bill here for a broken chair from the Bear family. Do you know anything about this Goldie?

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner.*

Q: Which direction is north in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get there and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 7


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## Hooked

This dish is in the Beef section of the menu ... but is it beef or pork??

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked

*The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday School quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade in Ohio. They were collected by two teachers over a period of three years. *

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steam-boat caused a network of rivers to spring up.

Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 10


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7 | Can relate 1


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

- If it’s cold, stay close to others. Otherwise you might feel a bit ice-olated.
- I saw an ad for a “radio on sale, $1, volume stuck on full”. I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
- I used to sell computer parts, but then I lost my drive.

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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 231558


This type of ignorance drives me up the freaking wall!

Regards

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*
There are loops on some shirts, but why?

*BECAUSE:*
Apparently, this was something that started with the men of the Navy. When they are out at sea, there are not a lot of places to store their clothes, so they started hanging them on hooks instead. In the ‘60s, college students did this when they went to the gym as well.

Reactions: Informative 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 7 | Can relate 1


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## Hooked

*What mothers said:*

*Albert Einstein’s mother:*
But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something…?

*Thomas Edison’s mother:*
Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!

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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Raindance said:


> This type of ignorance drives me up the freaking wall!
> 
> Regards

Reactions: Like 3


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Q*uestions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner.*

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is.. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

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## Adephi



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## Hooked

So takeaways have now become journalists?

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## Hooked

*The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday School quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade in Ohio. They were collected by two teachers over a period of three years. *

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steam-boat caused a network of rivers to spring up. 

Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It was very long. People got upset about it and had trials to see if it was really true. 

Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didn't get to find radios because they were already taken.

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*


If it’s cold, stay close to others. Otherwise you might feel a bit ice-olated.

I saw an ad for a “radio on sale, $1, volume stuck on full”. I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

I used to sell computer parts, but then I lost my drive.

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Adephi



Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 6


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## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Drikusw



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 2 | Funny 4


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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*
Why is there a green, black, red, or blue block at the bottom of the toothpaste?

*BECAUSE:*
This is called an “eye mark”. They are added to the tubes because they inform the assembly line machines which part should be cut and folded. The tubes of toothpaste would not be separated if these things did not exist.

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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked

Maybe we should start a thread devoted to Restroom signs!

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## Hooked

*What mothers said:*

*Humpty Dumpty’s mother:*
Humpty,If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? No!

*What did Ramaphosa’s mother say? You tell me …*

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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner.*

Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Did you know that these things have names?*

The space between your eyebrows is called glabella.

The way it smells after the rain is called petrichor.

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## Hooked

Anyone for a game?

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I was inconsole-able when I lost my Playstation.

If you need an ark, I noah guy. 

I can’t stand Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.

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## Munro31

So what I thought was screwing.....

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## Hooked

*What would your reply be?*

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## Munro31

Hooked said:


> View attachment 232522
> 
> 
> *What would your reply be?*


I would train it to be my butler.

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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 232522
> 
> 
> *What would your reply be?*


Divorce her.

Regards

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 9


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## Munro31

Raindance said:


> Divorce her.
> 
> Regards


Wahaha!!!

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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 232522
> 
> 
> *What would your reply be?*



always wanted one of these....

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## Hooked



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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 232657



And in an alternate universe, people in Southport sleeps in baths and washes in bedrooms....

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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser

WHY:*
Why are there extra buttons added to your jeans?

*BECAUSE:*
These extra buttons are called rivets. They are placed on the trousers to prevent the seams from coming apart. Levi Strauss owns the patent. He came up with it after seeing how quickly the jeans of miners wore out.

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## Hooked

@Modyrts said, "This is a message from a conversation with a mod that never got back to me"

So what exactly is the complaint? I often talk to my mods and they have* never* got back to me. I can just imagine if they did. Clean me! Fill me! Recharge me! If you don't I'm going to toyi-toyi on the coffee table! Protest action is called for!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 4


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

This is an often used expression that really bugs me :

The proof is in the pudding.

Don't people realise that this saying is meaningless? What possible proof could there be in a pudding?

The correct saying is :

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

To show my own ignorance here I always thought that the pudding referred to a dessert or maybe steak and kidney pudding.
The truth is that it refers to sausages made in the Middle Ages. Apparently, these often contained dodgy minced meat or blood. Eating it was a little risky hence the saying.

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 1 | Informative 6


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Did you know that these things have names?*

The plastic or metallic coating at the end of shoelaces is called an aglet.

The rumbling of a stomach is called wamble.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I knew a mathematician who couldn’t afford lunch. He could binomial.

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says “Make me one with everything.”

Reactions: Funny 10


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7 | Can relate 2


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 6 | Can relate 3


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Not the best choice of metaphor, is it?

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## DarthBranMuffin

I don't want to be successful anymore...

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Tell your Mommy!

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## DarthBranMuffin



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## Hooked

_[I'm so glad that we, in the WC, have a "nice" percent.]_

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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*
How come there are extra holes on top of the regular eyelets on sneakers?

*BECAUSE:*
Apparently, they are meant to help people whose feet are too small for their shoes. They only need to make a loop to tighten the lock even further. This is a good idea since ill-fitting shoes often result in blisters.

Reactions: Informative 3


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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 233302




https://ewn.co.za/2021/06/22/found-the-1st-ipad-back-in-ramaphosa-s-hands-after-it-disappears

"But, it seems crime may not have been to blame for the lost-and-found episode.

A few hours later, the "first iPad", as Ramaphosa's head of digital called it, was found and back in its owners hands, to his relief."

Reactions: Like 2


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner.*

Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa ? ( Germany )
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Did you know that these things have names?*

The cry of a newborn baby is called vagitus.

The sheen or light that you see when you close your eyes and press your hands against your eyelids is called phosphenes.

Reactions: Like 1 | Informative 5


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## Dela Rey Steyn

Hooked said:


> *Did you know that these things have names?*
> 
> The cry of a newborn baby is called vagitus.
> 
> The sheen or light that you see when you close your eyes and press your hands against your eyelids is called phosphenes.



Vagitus could also have been a very unfortunately named Roman legionary....

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


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## ARYANTO

''The Beer Association of South Africa (BASA) says that it is also weighing up a challenge against the alcohol ban.
“As others have pointed out,* there is a vaccine against Covid-19, but not against poverty*. The rise in infections is a direct result of large gatherings, a lack of social distancing and the failure to wear masks – not alcohol,” the group said in response to the latest ban.''

TRUE ,Best I've read .

Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 3


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## Dela Rey Steyn

ARYANTO said:


> ''The Beer Association of South Africa (BASA) says that it is also weighing up a challenge against the alcohol ban.
> “As others have pointed out,* there is a vaccine against Covid-19, but not against poverty*. The rise in infections is a direct result of large gatherings, a lack of social distancing and the failure to wear masks – not alcohol,” the group said in response to the latest ban.''
> 
> TRUE ,Best I've read .



I agree with this statement, the problem is just that hospitals can't really afford to give resources to imbeciles that get drunk and cause kak. They need to focus on the task at hand, wich is pretty damn big at this stage. So although my booze kitty is empty for the next few days, I know it will help all frontline healthcare workers, like SWAMBO and @Grand Guru to give their full attention to saving peoples lives and not wasting resources on a Piet or Sipho that couldn't hold their Brandy/Beer and caused an accident.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 5


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## Grand Guru

Like @Dela Rey Steyn Saud besides "The rise in infections is a direct result of large gatherings, a lack of social distancing and the failure to wear masks – not alcohol..." Well this sounds like an accurate description of a group of people having a few drinks together...

Reactions: Like 2


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## alex1501



Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> ''The Beer Association of South Africa (BASA) says that it is also weighing up a challenge against the alcohol ban.
> “As others have pointed out,* there is a vaccine against Covid-19, but not against poverty*. The rise in infections is a direct result of large gatherings, a lack of social distancing and the failure to wear masks – not alcohol,” the group said in response to the latest ban.''
> 
> TRUE ,Best I've read .



So if we wear alcohol the infection rate will decrease?

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents!

The cost of the space program is astronomical.

No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser

WHY:*
Why does an airplane window have a small hole?

*BECAUSE:*
It is called the breather hole, and it is important because it allows the aircraft’s outer panes to adjust to the pressure difference as the jet climbs greater heights. This lets the cabin remain at a safe level.

_[Oh!!! I thought it’s for vaping. Silly me.]_

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3 | Informative 2


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner.*

Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? ( USA )

A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 10


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## Drikusw



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Did you know that these things have names?*

Your baby finger or toe is called a minimus.

The wired cage that holds the cork in a bottle of champagne is called an agraffe.

Reactions: Like 1 | Informative 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting him for his birthday? He could sense his presents.

What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe? That’s mitosis.

The chicken couldn’t find her eggs because she mislaid them.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 11


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## Hooked



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## Adephi



Reactions: Winner 4 | Funny 8


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## Hooked

How's this!!

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 7


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## Grand Guru

Hooked said:


> How's this!!
> 
> View attachment 234580


Interestingly enough, being a telephone has probably become the least important of the functions, nowadays cellphones perform!

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 2


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## Hooked

Grand Guru said:


> Interestingly enough, being a telephone has probably become the least important of the functions, nowadays cellphones perform!



And he predicted a cellphone, just not by that name.

What's interesting is how attached we are to our mobiles. Our entire lives are on them!
And I get extremely anxious if I've forgotten to take mine with me. I think, "Oh my gosh, what if something happens? How do I call someone for help?" This is on my way to Spar, which is only less than 15 minutes from my home! Besides, Yzer is a small town and I'm well-known here, so there will also be help!

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 4


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## Drikusw



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## Hooked

Now I'm worried!

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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*
Why is there black grating on your microwave door?

*BECAUSE:*
The black grating is called the Faraday shield. You need it since it prevents the electromagnetic fields from going out of the oven. If that happens, it will warm the people in the area. On top of that, your food will not be cooked either!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3 | Informative 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 7 | Winner 1


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 4


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## Drikusw



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 7


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History —*

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Did you know that these things have names?*

The ‘na na na’ and ‘la la la’ which don’t have any meaning in the lyrics of a song are called vocables.

When you combine an exclamation mark with a question (like this?!) it is called an interrobang.

Reactions: Like 1 | Informative 5


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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked

South Africa

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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

I can’t stand sitting down.

Mountains aren’t just funny – they’re hill areas.

Reactions: Funny 8


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## ARYANTO

The dot over the lower case "i" or "j" is known as a "tittle."

Reactions: Like 2 | Informative 3


----------



## Stranger

Just the one ?

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Kuhlkatz

ARYANTO said:


> The dot over the lower case "i" or "j" is known as a "tittle."





Stranger said:


> Just the one ?



So is i+j a nice pair of tittles?

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*
Why are there dimples/indents on golf balls?

*BECAUSE:*
A long time ago, golfers discovered that balls with bumps and dents traveled [sic]further than their new and perfect counterparts. They decide to add these bumps on golf balls to create turbulence and give it more lift.

Reactions: Informative 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked

From Facebook: TMZ Zambia
https://www.facebook.com/TMZZambia/

*Mazabuka Police "cloth" nude swimmers*

TWO women of Mazabuka who were caught on camera swimming at Magoye Lodge wearing nothing but smiles and droplets of water on their naked bodies have been arrested by police and clothed with the offence of Circulating Obscene Material.

The two women, identified as Euphemia Moya, 22 and Mary Sakala, 24 in the company of a well-known former Mazabuka college lecturer shocked the owners of the lodge when they divorced themselves of their clothes and put not only their bare buttocks but their entire naked bodies between themselves and the water in the pool.

Dressed only in Adam and Eve's suits, the two ladies could be seen in the video showing off their private tools of pleasure and Procreation for the man they were with to watch and enjoy.

Meanwhile, the esteemed local lecturer Mulenga Chama who was in the two ladies’ company could also be seen battling to carry his naked beefy body with what appears to be a front tail swinging just beneath his stomach.

In confirming the arrest of the two ladies, Danny Mwale, Police deputy spokesperson said police are looking for a man only identified ad Cephas who recorded and circulated the video.
Mwale said Police are also looking for Chama.

The strange naked winter swimming orgy has had people speculating whether the decision to swim naked was due to excitement at having the first first-ever swimming pool in the District or perhaps the swimmers were high on a strange varient of sugarcane.

The truth will only be known in court.
©TMZ Zambia, July 4, 2021

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## Hooked

*These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History —*

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Did you know that these things have names?*

The space between your nostrils is called columella nasi.

The armhole in clothes, where the seam is sewn, is called armscye.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
I used to be a history teacher, but there was no future in it.

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## Hooked

Published in Time magazine

https://www.businessinsider.co.za/t...zulu-natal-holiday-in-the-western-cape-2021-7

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## Hooked



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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Hooked said:


> View attachment 234678
> 
> 
> Now I'm worried!




For good reason

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*
Why are adult drinks in bottles with long necks?

*BECAUSE:*
The shape makes it easy to hold for a significant amount of time. It is also easy to pour the drink into a glass or mug. Lastly, it is great at distributing heat to keep it cooler for longer.

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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Stranger



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History —*

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

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## Grand Guru



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## DarthBranMuffin

Grand Guru said:


>



aka @Hooked every Monday morning at 07:00....

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## Grand Guru



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## DarthBranMuffin

Grand Guru said:


>



And that is why I don't share a closet with my wife...

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## Hooked

DarthBranMuffin said:


> aka @Hooked every Monday morning at 07:00....



Actually it's not a train smash if I run out of coffee - but coffee juice is another matter!!

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## Adephi



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## Adephi

It's a rippoff. I got mine for free.

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## Grand Guru



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## Adephi



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## Drikusw



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Did you know that these things have names?*

The utterly sick feeling you get after eating or drinking too much is called crapulence.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

My patience has stretch marks.
I wasn’t able to make reservations at the library – they’re completely booked.
I didn’t like having long nails, but they’re growing on me.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*
Why are there are bumps on two keys on the keyboard: J and F.?

*BECAUSE:*
People who type properly should have the right pointer finger on J and the left pointer finger on F. The bumps give them a clue about the position of the rest of the keys, which allows them to keep typing without even looking down.

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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

A new restaurant in Yzer. Since when do we "grow" meat? And if we do, then where else would it be "grown" if not on a farm? In someone's back yard?

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## Hooked

*These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History —*

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

If you know of any good fish jokes, let minnow.
Be kind to dentists – they have fillings too.
Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.

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## Hooked



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## Drikusw



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*
Why is there a cylindrical object at the end of a cable cord? 

*BECAUSE:*
This is a ferrite choke. It has magnetic iron oxide that prevents high-frequency electromagnetic interference. If you ever make a call while you are near speakers, it prevents weird noises and other kinds of interruptions!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History —*

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

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## Grand Guru



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## supermoto

1. “Dad, are we pyromaniacs?”
“Yes, we arson!”
2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.
6. Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
12. My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band.
13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.
15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
16. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”
18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering.
20. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
22. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.

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## Drikusw

Sir Winston Churchill's vocabulary and command of the English language was unparalleled.( not many know that he won the Nobel prize in literature in 1953).
He was once asked about his position on whisky.
Here's how he answered:
"If you mean whisky, the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children;
If you mean that evil drink that topples men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, shame, despair, helplessness and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am opposed to it with every fibre of my being."
"However, if by whisky you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the elixir of life, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes;
If you mean good cheer, the stimulating sip that puts a little spring in the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty morning;
If you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to forget life's great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow;
If you mean that drink the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of pounds each year, that provides tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals, universities, and community colleges in this nation...
Then my friend, I am absolutely, unequivocally in favour of it..!!!
"This is my position, and as always, I refuse to compromise on matters of principle.!!!"

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## Raindance

Drikusw said:


> Sir Winston Churchill's vocabulary and command of the English language was unparalleled.( not many know that he won the Nobel prize in literature in 1953).
> He was once asked about his position on whisky.
> Here's how he answered:
> "If you mean whisky, the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children;
> If you mean that evil drink that topples men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, shame, despair, helplessness and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am opposed to it with every fibre of my being."
> "However, if by whisky you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the elixir of life, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes;
> If you mean good cheer, the stimulating sip that puts a little spring in the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty morning;
> If you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to forget life's great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow;
> If you mean that drink the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of pounds each year, that provides tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and infirm, to build the finest highways, hospitals, universities, and community colleges in this nation...
> Then my friend, I am absolutely, unequivocally in favour of it..!!!
> "This is my position, and as always, I refuse to compromise on matters of principle.!!!"


I need, nay, must... shall memorise that.

Regards

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## ddk1979



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I don’t know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

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## Puff the Magic Dragon

This anecdote about prime minister Churchill's word showdown with viscountess and known to be the first female member of the Parliament, Nancy Astor, is, perhaps, the most well-known.





It was a common fact in those times that these two figures have a mutual dislike for each other and couldn’t be in each other’s company without a battle of words ensuing.

The most familiar duel of words between Churchill and Astor happened when the latter visited Blenheim and it so happened that the WWII leader was also there. Nancy Astor was said to have commented _“If I were your wife I would poison your coffee…”_

To which Sir Winston Churchill promptly replied with _“And if I were your husband, I would drink it”._

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## Puff the Magic Dragon

It was said that while Churchill was leaving the House of Commons sometime in 1946, MP Bessie Braddock hit him with an insult saying _“Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk.”_

Churchill fired back at her with an insult, too, saying _“Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.”_

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## Puff the Magic Dragon

*Churchill on Attitude*
"If you are going through hell, keep going."


"Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it."


"I am easily satisfied with the very best."


"Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm."


"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."


"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."



"I am certainly not one of those who need to be prodded. In fact, if anything, I am the prod."


"To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often."


"The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes."


"We (The British) have not journeyed across the centuries, across the oceans, across the mountains, across the prairies, because we are made of sugar candy."


"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."


"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Who collected stamps?

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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## ARYANTO



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*
Why is a keyboard not arranged alphabetically?

*BECAUSE:*
They did try this with the typewriter, although it did not end well. People started typing so quickly that they caused the metal arms to get stuck! This is no longer a problem, but most of us are now used to QWERTY anyway.

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 1 | Informative 3


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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 237114



what's that address again.... need to send it to my Mother in Law to go give them a visit...

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History —*

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.

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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Tennis players have a hard time in relationships because love means nothing to them.
I thought my nose was bleeding, but it’s not. (it’s not = it’s snot)
I hated my job at the fireworks factory. I got fired a lot.

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## ARYANTO

_“No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.”_ – Abraham Lincoln

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

_[My comment: Hell man!]_

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*
Why does Aquafresh toothpaste have red, blue, and white stripes?

*BECAUSE:*
The colors actually signify something about dental health. For example, the blue stripe indicates that it has the ability to clean and freshen your breath. Meanwhile, the red stripe shows you that it has plaque control properties.

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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History —*

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget….
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy now.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
I love how the Earth rotates. It really makes my day.

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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Adephi



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## Dela Rey Steyn

Adephi said:


> View attachment 237835


That's deep.....

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## Raindance

Adephi said:


> View attachment 237835


And this ‘.’ is your butt hole while sitting in the accused bench.

Regards

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## Munro31

Adephi said:


> View attachment 237835


In SA our butt looks like that anyway

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Asking WHY makes you WHY-ser*

*WHY:*
Why does my dog sit outside staring at the stars, instead of doing her last business of the day, then 10 minutes after I’m tucked up in bed with my book and vape, she wants to go out?

*BECAUSE:*
I’m none the why-ser, so you tell me!

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## Hooked

*Lockdown Puns
Author unknown*

This lock-down is getting old and frankly I've had enough. I've discussed the matter over a cup of coffee with the kitchen sink, and we both agree that the experience is draining.
I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts the wrong spin on everything.
Same with the fridge. He only gives cold comfort. I asked the lamp but she couldn't shed any new light on the situation.
The vacuum cleaner was rather rude and told me to suck it up. The threshold was no better, it suggested I get over it.
The carpet advised me to sweep my feelings under the rug. But the fan was more upbeat and thought that the crisis would soon blow over.
The toilet looked a bit flushed and didn't offer an opinion.
The wall didn't say a word either, just gave me a blank stare.
The door knob was more forthcoming - told me to get a firm grip on the situation and move on.
The front door declared I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to.... you guessed it right - pull myself together.
Then the chair told me to table it, and the table remarked, I didn't have a leg to stand on. When I told the table to break a leg, the mirror said that my comments reflected poorly on my thinking.
However, in the end, the iron set things straight. She said everything will be fine. No situation is too pressing for long anyways.

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History —*

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Hooked said:


> View attachment 238113




It's not a horticultural sign. It is a health warning about cannabis use.

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## Hooked



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## Adephi

At least they don't have to wait until 30 February.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

After the birth of your first child, your role in life will become apparent.

I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but you mean your mother.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

When one door closes and another opens, you are probably in prison.

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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain!

My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied some lubricant!

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## Intuthu Kagesi

Grand Guru said:


> I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain!
> 
> My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied some lubricant!


Impressive ... no stopping here, just a slow down

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History —*


ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

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## Adephi



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## Drikusw



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## Drikusw



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

When I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself, “This changes everything”.

I was working in a glue factory, but I couldn’t stick with it.

What should you do if you’re cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked

Wow! The buyer sounds incredible!

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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Drikusw



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History —*

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Reactions: Funny 9


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

“When one door closes and another opens, you are probably in prison.”

Reactions: Funny 6


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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> “When one door closes and another opens, you are probably in prison.”



Or trying to get into the bank...

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 7


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## Grand Guru

These guys have excellent lawyers!

Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 8


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## Stranger

Love stuff like that

Reactions: Funny 11


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## Stranger



Reactions: Funny 10


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## Stranger



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 8


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Stranger said:


> View attachment 239467
> View attachment 239468
> View attachment 239469
> View attachment 239470



I rate we ban all warning labels and signs, and allow the stupid element to remove itself from the gene pool

Reactions: Agree 3 | Funny 4


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## Stranger



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 9


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## Stranger



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 6


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## DarthBranMuffin

and one sign to rule them all...

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 3 | Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

If you’re thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.
“I’ve stopped wearing my wedding ring,” Terry said without abandon. (abandon = a band on)

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Adephi



Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 8


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## Hooked



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## Drikusw



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Living in a small town can be frustrating sometimes, but the honesty of people here is unparalleled. Where else would you see a post on FB like this?




*My translation:
IPhone found at Villa Fontana parking area. Can be claimed at Chaseveritt office.*

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 6


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## Hooked

*These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History —*

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

Reactions: Funny 9


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Munro31

Intuthu Kagesi said:


>


Unfortunate!

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

“To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.”

Reactions: Agree 7 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 8


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Hooked

Apologies for blurry screenshot - can't change it.

*New alphabet*

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 5


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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I went to a peanut factory last week. The experience was nuts!

I would tell a history joke, but they’re too old fashioned.

I got fired from the candle factory because I refused to work wick ends!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Drikusw



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Drikusw



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 7


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 10


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History —*

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 240352


Between this and original CocaCola with Cocaine ... Little wonder our Grandparents walked around with smiles on their faces most of the time

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 4


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> I rate we ban all warning labels and signs, and allow the stupid element to remove itself from the gene pool



I strongly disagree. Please don't promote such things.

I would become very lonely.

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 8


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## Hooked

Question: How can a man go eight days without sleep?

Answer: It is not a problem, he doesn't need to sleep during the day, he sleeps at night.

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 240430



@JurgensSt isn't that your office?

Reactions: Funny 7


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## JurgensSt

DarthBranMuffin said:


> @JurgensSt isn't that your office?



I'm not saying anything

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 11


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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway).
Did you hear the one about the baker? It really takes the cake.
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Intuthu Kagesi



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## Grand Guru

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> View attachment 240564


And that's why we found ourselves in this k@k!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 4 | Can relate 1


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 240585



As a teenager I did some wierd sh... stuff, yes foodstuffs too ... and this was one of many, another being a small slab of chocolate between two slices of bread, (remembering that we didn't have Nutella back in ye' day)

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 9 | Creative 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 7


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## Hooked

*These hilarious real life exchanges recorded by court reporters are from a book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History —*

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 4 | Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 8


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Question: Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

Answer: Mt. Everest. It just wasn't discovered yet.

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 5


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## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Grand Guru

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> View attachment 240916


At least he's living up to his name!

Reactions: Funny 5


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## DarthBranMuffin

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> View attachment 240916



conspiracy theory triggered... why DO the years just keep coming and coming....

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Intuthu Kagesi

DarthBranMuffin said:


> conspiracy theory triggered... why DO the years just keep coming and coming....



Don't you wish you were a year?

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I nearly drowned yesterday. It was a breath-taking experience.

I had a pizza joke, but it was too cheesy.

I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Munro31

Hooked said:


> View attachment 241151


Of course, where else???

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 241288



I recall a plethora of similar handouts and posters in and around the Edenvale / Bedfordview area a few years back, with all manner and sort of outrageous claims from "Traditional Healers", to which they've now gone online  https://www.divinesandra.com/ https://mzansi-spellcaster.com/ https://www.professorsadalah.com/

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Hooked



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## Munro31

Hooked said:


> View attachment 241357


The anti-vegan movement was stepping it's campaign up a few notches.

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 4


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## Adephi

Eish, it's not your turn.

Reactions: Like 2


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Adephi said:


> Eish, it's not your turn.
> 
> View attachment 241406


I like your post, and ... dislike intensely the poster you posted, as a reminder of the ANC's thievery and corruption that continues unabated

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 4


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## Drikusw



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 6


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## Hooked



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## Stranger

I don't like to eat rabbits, they fight like crazy when you stuff them in the air fryer

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 9


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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 241288


Apple lips??

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## DarthBranMuffin

SmokeyJoe said:


> Apple lips??

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## Hooked



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## SmokeyJoe

Hooked said:


> View attachment 241542


What about Fluffy Bunny Suits?

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## Grand Guru

One at a time please!

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Intuthu Kagesi



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## Hooked



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## Akil

Hooked said:


> View attachment 241658


Does anyone know if there's a special permit required for this?
Thinking of opening up my own test centre

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


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## Hooked

Akil said:


> Does anyone know if there's a special permit required for this?
> Thinking of opening up my own test centre



With personal attention no doubt!

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



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## Akil

Hooked said:


> With personal attention no doubt!


When it comes to work, Im very "hands on"

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

My friend really changed when she become vegan. It’s like I’ve never seen herbivore.

If you love boys and girls but are still single, I suppose you’re just meant to be bi yourself for a while.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


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## Drikusw



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*QUESTION*
A man makes a claim that he can predict the exact score of every football game, before it begins. And he's always right. How's that possible?

*ANSWER*
He says the score before every football game begins is 0-0.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked

This appeared, along with photo, on one of our local FB groups yesterday. 
Seriously? I'm obviously out of touch with the ways that things are done nowadays.

Reactions: Optimistic 1


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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> This appeared, along with photo, on one of our local FB groups yesterday.
> Seriously? I'm obviously out of touch with the ways that things are done nowadays.
> 
> View attachment 242018
> 
> View attachment 242019




On 1 January 1999 I rocked up at my first job (in a warehouse) in a suit and tie, that was just the way I was raised. Today looking sh!t is an achievement. Today it is: "This is who I am, accept me or get knotted, I shall not conform to your rules, you shall adapt to who I am!" 

Sad actually, I have a half cooked 21 year old and a far from being cooked 14 year old that still needs to reach adulthood. Like @Paul33 put it to me in the week, we are trying to raise our kids to be better versions of themselves. Parents raise kids the right way, kids grow up the wrong way.

Reactions: Like 4 | Agree 3


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## Paul33

Agree 100% with @DarthBranMuffin to wear a suit and dress up and MAKE AN EFFORT!!!!

My wifes MD's son works in the office with them and they're a fancy place but this child walks around in takkies with his shirt untucked and unbuttoned to his belly button because he is the bosses son. BECAUSE he is the bosses son he should be trying harder than the rest but I blame the father in this instance, its his fault his son has no manners and walks around like a fat prancing pony! 

I shudder at the kids these days and the lack of respect most of them have, the lack of attention to detail. The total I don't give a damn attitude. 

I work in a dirty industry but every day I get home and polish my shoes. Why? Because that's what my grandad taught me to do, he said it doesn't matter how poor you are you can have clean shoes and clean shoes say a lot about a man. 

And guess what? By example my son now shines his shoes everyday and looks smart as anything walking into school. Proud dad moment!!

Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 1 | Winner 7


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## Hooked

Paul33 said:


> Agree 100% with @DarthBranMuffin to wear a suit and dress up and MAKE AN EFFORT!!!!
> 
> My wifes MD's son works in the office with them and they're a fancy place but this child walks around in takkies with his shirt untucked and unbuttoned to his belly button because he is the bosses son. BECAUSE he is the bosses son he should be trying harder than the rest but I blame the father in this instance, its his fault his son has no manners and walks around like a fat prancing pony!
> 
> I shudder at the kids these days and the lack of respect most of them have, the lack of attention to detail. The total I don't give a damn attitude.
> 
> I work in a dirty industry but every day I get home and polish my shoes. Why? Because that's what my grandad taught me to do, he said it doesn't matter how poor you are you can have clean shoes and clean shoes say a lot about a man.
> 
> And guess what? By example my son now shines his shoes everyday and looks smart as anything walking into school. Proud dad moment!!



The guy who fixed my gate is a local renovator/builder, traipsing around building sites every day etc. but whenever I see him his boots are polished to a shine or, if he's wearing takkies, they don't have a spot of dirt on them. The rim is as white as snow. Clearly he was raised that way too.

Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 2 | Winner 1


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## Hooked

But going back to the way this girl is looking for a job ... a long time ago a girl of about the same age posted on our FB,
"Hey Julle, ek soek werk." My translation, Hey all of you, I'm looking for work."

In my comment I asked if that is the right way to look for work???

Well, I was berated, belittled and cursed by other people on the group. In fact, one woman went around trying to get people to back her in forcing me to leave Yzer. I couldn't believe it!!!!

The funniest thing though is that the same woman who was trying to force me to leave phoned me during lockdown last year, looking for vape stuff because she couldn't buy cigarettes. Needless to say I didn't help her!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 8


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## SmokeyJoe

I have to disagree with the whole clothing thing. Im almost 40, very successful, and i still love my shorts, t shirts and tekkies.

The old saying of clothes maketh the man, is not relevant anymore, from my point of view in any case.
If you go out to a corporate client, thats a different issue.
But for me personally, i do my work best when I feel comfortable
Obviously it all depends on what kind of work that you do. Having said that, even if i wear my preferred clothing, i still make sure that i look neat

Reactions: Like 5


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*In response to an invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all time greats:*

Ohm resisted the idea.
Newton said he'd drop in.

My own:
Trump said it’s fake news.

(I showed you mine, now you show me yours)

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 8


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## SmokeyJoe



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 5


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Winner 5


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Grand Guru



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## SmokeyJoe

Puff the Magic Dragon said:


>


Challenge accepted

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Winner 8 | Funny 1


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 2


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## DarthBranMuffin

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> View attachment 242314



it's the "YOU SHALL NOT PASS" logo! Guessing it was something dodgy again...

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Intuthu Kagesi

DarthBranMuffin said:


> it's the "YOU SHALL NOT PASS" logo! Guessing it was something dodgy again...


Did @Puff the Magic Dragon post something here intended for the nawty LOL's?

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> View attachment 242314



Fixed it

Strangely it does have something to do with "you shall not pass".

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Puff the Magic Dragon said:


> Fixed it
> 
> Strangely it does have something to do with "you shall not pass".



Such a spoilsport you are  ... a blimming Landy ... really  ... It was better with the "_ye shall not pass_" magody, as it conjured up all manner of possibilities of what it might be

Reactions: Funny 5


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## DarthBranMuffin

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> Such a spoilsport you are  ... a blimming Landy ... really  ... It was better with the "_ye shall not pass_" magody, as it conjured up all manner of possibilities of what it might be



But a Landy still counts under the "You Shall Not Pass" term... throw a brick in the road with that written on it, and it will have to drive around it in any case

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 10


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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 8 | Can relate 1


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 7


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Hooked

*QUESTION*
How many books can you put in an empty backpack?

*ANSWER*
One! After that, it's not empty.

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


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## Hooked

*In response to an invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all time greats:*

Socrates said he'd think about it.

Boyle said he was under too much pressure.

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 9


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 10


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Something about subtraction just doesn’t add up.

Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark hives.

It’s OK to borrow a book from the public library once in a while, but try not to overdue it.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Hooked said:


> *In response to an invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all time greats:*
> 
> Socrates said he'd think about it.
> 
> Boyle said he was under too much pressure.



*I made up a few of my own responses to the famous person reunion:*

Freud said he would have come but he is having dinner with his mother

Nietzche_ said he was still in mourning because God had died_
_
Noah said he would be there if the weather improved

Trump said that talk about him coming to the reunion was fake news

Alec Baldwin said that he would be in court on that date

Mark Twain replied that he would love to come to prove that the rumours of his death had been greatly exaggerated

Houdini said that he was a bit tied up at the moment

Adam said he would only come if there were no apples on the menu

Arnold Schwarzenegger said, " I'll be back..."

Baldrick said that he had made a cunning plan to be there

Don Vito Corleone (the Godfather said that it was an offer that he couldn't refuse






Picasso accepted the invite saying it would be a surreal experience





_

Reactions: Winner 5 | Funny 2


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## Hooked

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-59090067

Facebook's announcement that it is changing its name to Meta has caused quite the stir in Israel where the word sounds like the Hebrew word for "dead". To be precise, Meta is pronounced like the feminine form of the Hebrew word.

A number of people have taken to Twitter to share their take on the name under the hashtag #FacebookDead.

The emergency rescue volunteers Zaka even got involved, telling their followers on Twitter: "Don't worry, we're on it".

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 3


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## Adephi



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 3


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## Hooked

*Lost in Translation*

Rolls-Royce changed the name of its Silver Mist car as mist translates as "excrement" in German.
The car was named Silver Shadow instead.

Reactions: Funny 2 | Informative 5


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## Dela Rey Steyn

Just saw this gem of a YT comment:




Apart from providing oxygen Steve?!?!?! These damn useless trees I tell you...

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked

*In response to an invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all time greats:*

Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved.
Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 4 | Funny 5


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

The written word can be very confusing.
Some politicians are well known for giving seemingly comprehensive answers which really provide no answer.
Others use impressive-sounding words that are intended to confuse the listener into believing that the message must be truly deep and meaningful.

Deepak Chopra is well known for this. Take a look at this fun random quote generator which was compiled using random words from his Twitter stream.

http://wisdomofchopra.com/

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 4


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## Grand Guru

Puff the Magic Dragon said:


> The written word can be very confusing.
> Some politicians are well known for giving seemingly comprehensive answers which really provide no answer.
> Others use impressive-sounding words that are intended to confuse the listener into believing that the message must be truly deep and meaningful.
> 
> Deepak Chopra is well known for this. Take a look at this fun random quote generator which was compiled using random words from his Twitter stream.
> 
> http://wisdomofchopra.com/



I got this 

*Knowledge is a reflection of the doorway to creativity*

The best way to impress and confuse your drunk friends

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 2


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Grand Guru said:


> I got this
> 
> *Knowledge is a reflection of the doorway to creativity*
> 
> The best way to impress and confuse your drunk friends




I agree. Drunk friends are too easy.

The sad thing is that you can also fool bright people. I am willing to bet that you could turn the generated phrase above into a Philosophy 1 question. Something like this:


*"Knowledge is a reflection of the doorway to creativity"*

Discuss Plato's views on art (creativity) in relation to knowledge with reference to the above phrase. Plato said that art is a copy of a copy. In other words, it is takes us further and further away from reality. If knowledge is a justified true belief how does it relate to creative endeavours or art?

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 1 | Creative 1


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## Hooked

Swartland Municipality says, "We unfortunately do expect the load shedding stage to escalate into the weekend as soon as we have a better understanding of when these problems will be resolved."

I nominate the above as the Chirp of the Week @ARYANTO 

So when their understanding escalates, load-shedding escalates? Let's hope that they never understand a darn thing!

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6 | Can relate 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Hooked said:


> View attachment 243435




Surely they were aware of the innuendos. If not, I give up all hope.

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 243515



"wot u mean, i ddnt get ur msg"

and that is the kinda sh!t i have to translate when my 13y/o sends me messages... I then just respond in Afrikaans, so that she does not understand me either.

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Intuthu Kagesi

DarthBranMuffin said:


> "wot u mean, i ddnt get ur msg"
> 
> and that is the kinda sh!t i have to translate when my 13y/o sends me messages... I then just respond in Afrikaans, so that she does not understand me either.



Outside of inventing various acronyms on the fly, (_and Androids spellchecker doing it's own thing_), the current generation leave out all vowels, (_unless they form part of an acronym_), in messages 
Reciprocate by leaving out all the consonants in your replies, or ... simply intersperse a few random vowels over two or three lines of text ... 
One or two of the aforementioned replies usually gets the sender to revert to (semi)understandable communication

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter!

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot. Now I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 243564

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Lost in Translation*

When Nokia released its Lumia phone in 2011, it didn't exactly get the reaction it was expecting.
In Spanish, Lumia is a synonym for a prostitute, although it apparently only appears in dialects with a heavy gypsy influence.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


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## Stranger

HA, try driving a Pajero !!!!!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Stranger said:


> HA, try driving a Pajero !!!!!


A Pajero driver must like this stuff:

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 243886


You too

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## Hooked

Has anyone eaten healthy? What is it? Where does one buy it? I tried to find it in the supermarket yesterday, but no luck.

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 243932
> 
> Has anyone eaten healthy? What is it? Where does one buy it? I tried to find it in the supermarket yesterday, but no luck.


Hit three digits on the scale during the week. I also need to get some eat healthy, let me know if you find it!

Thanks,

Regards

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Drikusw



Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

A rubber band slingshot was confiscated in algebra class for being a weapon of math disruption.

If Americans switched from pounds to kilos overnight, there would be mass confusion.

“The grass is wet,” said Dan after due consideration.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Stranger

Intuthu Kagesi said:


>



That's a bummer

Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## DarthBranMuffin

Intuthu Kagesi said:


>



I wonder if there was a lot of questions arseked afterwards... hope they thanked everyone working behind the scenes too...

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Stranger

DarthBranMuffin said:


> I wonder if there was a lot of questions arseked afterwards... hope they thanked everyone working behind the scenes too...



Some of those presenters were ass about face.

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 7


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 244128



Please tell me that no one on this forum actually listens to his "music"

Reactions: Agree 1


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## DarthBranMuffin

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> Please tell me that no one on this forum actually listens to his "music"



I didn't even know that she still makes music...

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Grand Guru

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> Please tell me that no one on this forum actually listens to his "music"


You don’t have teens

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Grand Guru said:


> You don’t have teens



I have a 13 year old Grand Daughter who plays the violin and thankfully listens to / appreciates classical and jazz

Reactions: Winner 3


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## Intuthu Kagesi

My 11 year old Grand Daughter on the other hand plays the guitar, and her taste is fairly eclectic, (_not unlike her Grandfather _), and her current band of choice, (_which she introduced me to_), is The Score ... interesting uplifting / motivational rock


----------



## SmokeyJoe

Grand Guru said:


> You don’t have teens


I have teens and they would rather stab their eye out with a pencil before listening to her music

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 3


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## Munro31

My laaitie played her once, he lives in the wendy in thee back yard, we don't speak of him much, but remember the good times we had

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Lost in Translation*

Honda … had a lucky escape. It almost named its new car the Fitta, which is a vulgar description for vagina in Swedish. It apparently did not translate well in a number of other languages.

Apparently the issue was detected early on and a decision was made to name the vehicle Jazz in most countries.

Reactions: Informative 2


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## Stranger

Well that is almost as bad

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked

@Grand Guru

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked

*In response to an invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all time greats:*

Volta was electrified at the prospect.
Pavlov positively drooled at the thought.

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Grand Guru

Holy cr@p. I'm heading to the N1!

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 244296
> 
> @Grand Guru



Makes sense  ... Isn't that the devil / Ace's hometown?

Reactions: Funny 3


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1 | Winner 4


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Munro31

ARYANTO said:


>


Good advice, now to find a friend!

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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 9


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Odourless chemicals just don’t make scents.
I used to be an electrician, but the pay was shocking.
Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 8 | Can relate 1


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## Hooked

Did the judge use the same knife?

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Lost in Translation*

When KFC arrived in China during the 80s, its motto "finger lickin' good" didn't exactly go down well with the locals.
The motto's translation in Mandarin was "eat your fingers off".

But it didn't harm the company too much. KFC is one of the largest fast food chains in the country.

Reactions: Funny 4 | Informative 2


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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*In response to an invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all time greats:*

Ampere was worried he wasn't current enough though alternately none were.

Edison thought it would be illuminating.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## DavyH

Hooked said:


> View attachment 244908



My BIL's name is CLINT. It's illegal to use anything other than capital letters...

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I used to hate facial hair, but it’s been growing on me lately.
Our office defibrillator didn’t work. Nobody was shocked.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Drikusw



Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 4 | Can relate 1


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## Hooked



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## DavyH

Hooked said:


> View attachment 245236


Or youse lettabocks.

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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 4 | Funny 3


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## Hooked

*QUESTION*
How far can you walk into the woods?

*ANSWER*
Half way. After that you are walking out of the woods.

Reactions: Agree 2 | Winner 2 | Funny 3


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 5 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*In response to an invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all time greats:*

Einstein said it would be relatively easy to attend.
Archimedes was buoyant at the thought.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 4


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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Trump inadvertently said people who believe his election-fraud theories are stupid*
https://www.businessinsider.co.za/t...fraud-theory-believers-stupid-corrupt-2021-12

"Anybody that doesn't think there wasn't massive election fraud in the 2020 presidential election is either very stupid, or very corrupt!" he said in a Saturday statement.

Critics pounced on the error, pointing out that the former president had used a double negative and ended up insulting those who espoused his claim that the 2020 election was stolen from him, rather than those who rejected them."

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> *Trump inadvertently said people who believe his election-fraud theories are stupid*
> https://www.businessinsider.co.za/t...fraud-theory-believers-stupid-corrupt-2021-12
> 
> "Anybody that doesn't think there wasn't massive election fraud in the 2020 presidential election is either very stupid, or very corrupt!" he said in a Saturday statement.
> 
> Critics pounced on the error, pointing out that the former president had used a double negative and ended up insulting those who espoused his claim that the 2020 election was stolen from him, rather than those who rejected them."



What is that old english adage ... the truth shall out

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
I made a graph of my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


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## Hooked

My translation: Cellphone found on main beach. Contact me with details of the photo on the screen.

Only in Yzerfontein are people this honest!

Reactions: Winner 5


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## Hooked

*QUESTION*
A clerk at a butcher shop stands five feet ten inches tall and wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

*ANSWER*
Meat.

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


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## Drikusw



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Nappies are a "Britishism for diapers" . How about diapers are an Americanism for nappies?

Reactions: Agree 3 | Funny 5


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 8


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Raindance

Hooked said:


> View attachment 246135


Who the hell is James and which of his publications are you referring to?

Regards

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## Hooked



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## Stranger

He tried again and put

MypenisTunacan

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## DarthBranMuffin



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Spring is here! I’m so excited, I wet my plants.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4 | Creative 1


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 3 | Funny 5


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## Hooked

*QUESTION*
Spell "Ghost" out loud. Then spell "Most" out loud. Then spell "Roast" out loud. What do you put in a toaster?

*ANSWER*
Bread. Most people will answer "Toast".

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Intuthu Kagesi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*In response to an invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all time greats:*

Morse said, "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now, must dash."

Hertz said he planned to attend with greater frequency in the future.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Intuthu Kagesi



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked

If at first you don't succeed, try and try again.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 3 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6 | Can relate 1


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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink!

My housemate told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went out and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


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## Hooked

*QUESTION*
What happened when the wheel was invented?

*ANSWER*
It caused a revolution.

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 246913



Remember this from the early 80's?

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## Stranger

Ahh the era of plastic bag fashions and edible underwear.

These youngsters today don't know how good we had it.

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*In response to an invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all time greats:*

Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight.

Aryabhatta said there were zero chances of him showing up.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


----------



## Drikusw



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 7


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 1 | Informative 5


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

My parents came out as antivaxxers. Their choices make me sick.

I googled “how to start a fire” and got 869,000 matches.

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked

Copied from someone's FB post:

"I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to you, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on advice I wish to say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious / secular persuasions and / or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2022 but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that my country is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Best Regards (without prejudice)

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 4 | Funny 5


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 8


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## Grand Guru

*The most respect traffic sign in the World*

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 6


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## Room Fogger

Grand Guru said:


>


Frame a pair of underpants moment!

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 6


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

Instructions on how to put on underwear

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Grand Guru

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> View attachment 247219


Something poetic about this I like a lot

Reactions: Agree 3


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## Raindance

Grand Guru said:


> Something poetic about this I like a lot


Agree, this is probably what Shakespeare on ye olde white pipe would have sounded like.

Regards

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 3


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Raindance said:


> Agree, this is probably what Shakespeare on ye olde white pipe would have sounded like.
> Regards



Not sure that it was a white pipe, however, it has long been supposed that Shakespeares creativity was "_supplemented_" with Weed, Cocaine and Nutmeg of all substances;
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2001/mar/02/classics.shakespeare

Reactions: Informative 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Adephi



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 8


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Like 4 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked

*QUESTION*
How many birth days does the average person have?

*ANSWER*
Just one, all the rest are anniversaries of their date of birth.

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 3


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7 | Can relate 1


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> View attachment 247334


I would never

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Hooked

*In response to an invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all time greats:*

Marconi said he would listen to the report on wireless.

Pythagoras refused because he thought the organisers were not looking at the reunion through the right angle.

Alvin J. Fellows gave a measured response.

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 3


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Hooked said:


> View attachment 246831



Fayetteville, Northern California.

Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 2


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Puff the Magic Dragon said:


> Fayetteville, Northern California.




We have a few of our own in various sizes right here in SA 

Harties



Pretoria



Bloemfontein



Stellenbosch



and Parys

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 5 | Informative 1


----------



## DavyH

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> We have a few of our own in various sizes right here in SA
> 
> Harties
> View attachment 247374
> 
> 
> Pretoria
> View attachment 247372
> 
> 
> Bloemfontein
> View attachment 247370
> 
> 
> Stellenbosch
> View attachment 247373
> 
> 
> and Parys
> View attachment 247371



I prefer cell towers when they're disguised as trees.

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 3


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## Intuthu Kagesi

DavyH said:


> I prefer cell towers when they're disguised as trees.



There was a time when SA was ever so proud of our steel, (_facilitated by Scottish Engineers btw_), and we plastered the country with it  ... we've all but shut down the lions share of the steel, (and other) industry(ies), and now import low grade @#$% ... hiding it as the embarrassment that it is.

Reactions: Agree 2


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## Hooked

For all those who celebrated the lifting of the curfew!

Reactions: Funny 9


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 3 | Funny 5


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Raindance

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> View attachment 247436


Could No.6 be "Catcher in the rye" and No.7 "To kill a mockingbird"? We will probably never know.

Regards

Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 1


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

Raindance said:


> Could No.6 be "Catcher in the rye" and No.7 "To kill a mockingbird"? We will probably never know.
> Regards


Oooooo ... Not only observant, but well read I see

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 4 | Funny 4


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## Munro31

Hooked said:


> View attachment 247506


Damn straight!

Reactions: Like 2


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## Hooked

*New crypto-themed restaurant offers 'bitcoinana split,' 'crypto cuban' sandwiches, 'dogedog' hotdogs*
https://www.businessinsider.co.za/c...ogecoin-bitcoin-hotdog-crypto-payment-2021-12
2 Jan. 2022

A new restaurant in Clearwater Beach, Florida wants more customers to partake in the crypto craze...

The items on its menu, which are American and Hispanic staples, are tweaked to sound familiar to cryptocurrency enthuasists. "Crypto Cuban" sandwiches, "Nutty Protocol" salad, "DeFi Ceasar Salad," "Shiba Shrimp Cocktail," "Bitcoinana Split," and "To The MOOOONNN" brownie sundae are some of its quirky-sounding options.

Its walls have art depicting bitcoin and ethereum symbols, a rocket headed to the moon, and quotes by dogecoin advocate Elon Musk, according to local media outlet Tampa Bay Times....

Varona said the "dogedog" hotdogs are among the most popular, and customers don't refer to the club sandwich by its dull name.

"People rarely tell us to make a club sandwich," he said. "Instead customers say 'I will get a blockchain.' They're just having fun with it and that's pretty cool."


The restaurant accepts any type of cryptocurrency, including "shitcoins," owner Ricardo Varona told the newspaper. Varona, who has helped visitors open accounts on crypto exchange Coinbase, said he hopes the bistro can be a place where common misconceptions about digital assets can be eliminated.

Reactions: Like 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5 | Can relate 5


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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I wanted to take pictures of the fog this morning…But I mist my chance. I guess I could dew it tomorrow.

My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it’s flat. In the end, he came around.

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 5 | Winner 1


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## Grand Guru

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off

“Doctor, there’s a patient on line one that says he’s invisible.’
‘Well, tell him I can’t see him right now

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

For all the ecigssa members ...

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 2 | Winner 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 10


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 10


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Hooked

*QUESTION*
What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?

*ANSWER*
Incorrectly

Reactions: Funny 10


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 5 | Winner 1


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

*This is the new Transformers trailer*

Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Hooked

Grand Guru said:


>



I agree wholeheartedly! I go into a rapid decline when things are not in alphabetical order!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2 | Can relate 1


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 8


----------



## Hooked

In reply to @Intuthu Kagesi's post:

Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Hooked

*Reunion of all-time Greats*

no more from the Internet, so let's create our own!

@Rob Fisher said he’ll stay fit and walk there.

@vicTor said he’ll be there with a PIF box

@YeOldeOke said if Pudo is there, he will challenge them to a duel.

@Intuthu Kagesi asked if there'll be eisbein.


*Come on guys 'n gals, give us some more!*

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 9


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 6


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


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## Grand Guru

*New year resolution!*

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Grand Guru

*Also processes what?*

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Intuthu Kagesi

ARYANTO said:


> View attachment 247803


Because most females = excess H2S #justsaying

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 2


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8 | Thanks 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 7 | Can relate 2


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## Hooked

*Reunion of all-time Greats
*
@ivc_mixer said he'll be the barman. "What do you want?"

@Grand Guru and @Adephi said they would go only if it is a masked ball.

@Silver assured everyone that the reunion is Admin Approved.

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru

*This is an Ad for a College.*

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Grand Guru

*Vengeance makes the world go round.*

Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 7


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## DarthBranMuffin

Grand Guru said:


> *Vengeance makes the world go round.*



Did he want a computerized caravan, but they forgot to install windows?

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Drikusw



Reactions: Agree 3 | Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Hooked

*Reunion of all-time Greats*

@DarthBranMuffin declined the invitation. "You mean I have to be with PEOPLE??? No ways!!"

Hooked said she’ll be there only if there’s coffee juice.

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 4


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 9


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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Dela Rey Steyn



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*QUESTION*
You cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

*ANSWER*
You can't take a picture with a wooden leg, you need to use a camera.

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Old ads that wouldn't be allowed today


*

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Hooked said:


> View attachment 248269

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## DarthBranMuffin



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## DarthBranMuffin



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Intuthu Kagesi



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru

*Wish someone would have told me earlier.*

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

*This stop sign I found in a rural part of Ireland from fed up locals.*

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## Grand Guru

*For your diet days and your cheat days.*

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Grand Guru

*Valentine’s Day 2022.*

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## Grand Guru

*It looks suspicious!*

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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I couldn’t find the time.

What’s the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked

Cape Town has been unusually - and unbearably - hot this summer. Even here in Yzerfontein which seldom gets this hot. TG today and tomorrow will be cooler!!! 

Here's some tweets about the heat:

Cape Town is so hot my bank account dried up.

Dear Cape Town, we can't stand the heat. Please understand that you are not a kitchen

It's so hot in Cape Town, I'm starfished on the floor trying to regulate my body temp.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but do not walk your dog in this extreme heat, especially on concrete/tar that has been baking in the sun all day. 
(Currently located in Cape Town, five degrees south of Satan’s butthole)

The heat in Cape Town today is honestly a violation of our human rights.

The rest of SouthAfrica, do you guys want some cape Town heat? Completely free & we shall pay for delivery.

Reactions: Funny 6 | Can relate 1


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 8


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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

*Hummm?*

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## DarthBranMuffin

Grand Guru said:


> *Hummm?*



Big brother is watching...

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 6 | Winner 1 | Can relate 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


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## Intuthu Kagesi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*English words that have long been forgotten *

Philogrobilized
Having a hangover but without admitting to actually drinking.

Perendinate
To put off until the day after tomorrow.

Reactions: Like 3 | Informative 4


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 6 | Can relate 2


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## Grand Guru

Where is this church?

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


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## RoddieJ

Hooked said:


> *Puns and One-liners*
> 
> I was going to look for my missing watch, but I couldn’t find the time.
> 
> What’s the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.



Attire

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Raindance

RoddieJ said:


> Attire


Ooooh! The force is strong with this one!

Regards

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed these days.


*

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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 3 | Funny 6 | Can relate 1


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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru

No thanks!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 9


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## DarthBranMuffin

Grand Guru said:


> No thanks!



apparently it is to die for...

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Kuhlkatz

Grand Guru said:


> No thanks!



Also not too sure what part(s) of the chicken the "Chicken Durm Sticks" are made up of.

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Velcro is a big rip-off.

“I don’t have any flowers,” Tom said, lackadaisically.

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## Intuthu Kagesi



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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Drikusw



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## DavyH

(In response to @Grand Guru)

Don't they really amount to the same thing?

It could also be 'Vogon for life'...

Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Grand Guru

*Tastes like it, too.*

Reactions: Agree 3 | Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Dela Rey Steyn

DavyH said:


> Don't they really amount to the same thing?
> 
> It could also be 'Vogon for life'...



Ah, I see you are a man that appreciates fine poetry.....

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Grand Guru

washing instructions

Reactions: Funny 9 | Dislike 1


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## DavyH

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> Ah, I see you are a man that appreciates fine poetry.....



My YouTube handle is Vogon Poet...

Reactions: Winner 4 | Informative 1


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Our local butcher (in a neighbouring town) posted this on FB.

*Darling Meat Market is in Darling, Western Cape.*

*MEAT AND GREET - the Darling Meat Market Way!*

If you are planning on having some NEW friends over and not sure what to serve, let us show you what and how. It's as easy as 1-2-3... No Mess, No Fuss (NMNF) - just like US.

STEP 1 - PURCHASE

1. Come in and have a chat to Kevin the Butcher. There's no use even attempting to engage Steve the Other Butcher who will probably be chopping, chopping, and more chopping of something in the background.

2. Tell Kevin how many people you are hosting, and he will direct you towards the deli section. He probably won't come out from behind the counter 'ços it is quite far to walk there from his usual post. _ [a few steps]_

3. Pick out about a deli packet per person who is to be hosted at your "do", and lay them down in front of Kevin. Remember, not too far from his post.

4. At this point, Steve may start offering some advice. Ignore Steve. He's the chopper who prepares the best cuts on the West Coast, so he is not to be disturbed.

5. Kevin may then suggest some locally-sourced mustards, relishes, and chili sauces that would be the perfect fit for the meat that you have selected. All are available in-store and all are reasonably priced.

6. Stand patiently while Kevin writes your selections onto a piece of paper which you'll take to the till to pay by card or cash. The tellers are very friendly, so you can breathe easily at this point. Once the payment has gone through, vat jou goed en trek, Ferreira.


STEP 2 - ASSEMBLE & SERVE

1. At home, unpack the items onto the kitchen counter, summon your best Nataniël presentation powers, and lay out the meats and relishes as per the pic below. Any arrangement should do - just don't forget to add a bit of green.

2. Serve to your guests who will immediately become huisvriende because of how delicious the platter is.


STEP 3 - TIDY UP

1. Take the empty platter to the kitchen for washing up.

2. Decant any remaining sauces into the original packaging and put in the fridge.

3. Go to bed - it's only 1 platter and 5 bowls to wash - give yourself permission to do the washing in the morning. Or tell your husband to do them if he was not well enough behaved during the "do".

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 7


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*English words that have long been forgotten *

Uhtceare
Lying awake and worrying about the day ahead.

Kakistocracy
Goverment by the least qualified or worst people.

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 3 | Informative 1


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> *English words that have long been forgotten *
> 
> Uhtceare
> Lying awake and worrying about the day ahead.
> 
> Kakistocracy
> Goverment by the least qualified or worst people.



So it seems we're not wrong by shortening Kakistocracy, and referring to our government as KAK!

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 2 | Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed today


*

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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> *Old ads which wouldn't be allowed today
> 
> View attachment 249228
> *



Shoooooweeeeeee ... displaying BOTH ankles OMG it's a travesty I tell you .... 

Never mind today, I'm surprised it was allowed back in ye day ... mind you ... a male medical doctor invented the vibrator back in the late 1800's, to help out with curing "the maladies" / "woman's hysteria", aka sexual frustration, as men of the day were somewhat "self serving", and it had become endemic.

Reactions: Informative 2


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> Shoooooweeeeeee ... displaying BOTH ankles OMG it's a travesty I tell you



I can't really get a good look at his ankles. Only a tiny bit of white sockage.

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Grand Guru

*Lowering the standard 


*

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Hooked said:


> View attachment 249392



What is writ here is really deceptive and I'm not referring to the gastro part.

In the past, all products were labelled as R/kg. For R100 I get a lump of stuff that is approximately this massive. Almost everyone understood this. This dubious ham is labelled as R 39.99 for 400g. Some of us are able to do quick mental arithmetic and realise that we are paying R100/kg. I am certain that the vast majority of people in this world can't do this calculation on the fly in a busy supermarket.

Have you ever noticed that this deceptive technique is almost always used when pricing expensive items such as cheese, salami, meat etc. The shopper looks at the item and says Ok, I'm prepared to pay R 39.99 for this lump. Cheese is often sold in 900g packages. Work that one out in a crowded, busy, noisy supermarket with the kids screaming and demanding sweets! 

I have not even mentioned the R0.99 issue.

Work this out. It may surprise you. It's from a local supermarket's website.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1 | Winner 2


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## Intuthu Kagesi

(50g/7g) * R2.99 = R21.36

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> (50g/7g) * R2.99 = R21.36



These "mistakes" are everywhere. We usually don't have the time or don't make the effort to notice them.

Reactions: Agree 3


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Dogs can’t operate MRI scanners, but catscan.

How’s my long distance relationship going? So far, so good.

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Akil

Saw this at a local store. For some reason, I expected the juice to be a lil more brown

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Adephi



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked

*English words that have long been forgotten *

Groke
Someone who stares at you when you eat hoping you will share.

Abligurition
Spending lavish amounts of money on food.

Reactions: Winner 1 | Informative 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays.


*

Reactions: Funny 8


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## DarthBranMuffin



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## Intuthu Kagesi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Manufacturer takes making a typo to the next level with Queen’s Platinum ‘Jubbly’ year*







10 800 pieces of crockery, including tea sets, mugs and decorate plates got something of a limited edition print, AKA the ultimate typo. 

The souvenir products were made with the intention to celebrate Queen Elizabeth II’s 70-year reign, also known as her Platinum Jubilee celebration – or ‘Jubbly’ as the print on the products put it.

The products were bought from Changzhouint Merchandise, a manufacturer in China who attributed the mistake to mistranslation as Business Insider notes. 

The company that was originally supposed to purchase the goods opted out, but another company saw an opportunity and decided to brand the goods as something of a limited edition.

Wholesale Clearance UK who buy and sell stock and goods from excess companies hopped on the opportunity to continue sales.

“what could be more unique than our limited-edition misprinted crockery?” said Karl Baxter, the company’s managing director. 

The Queen will celebrate her Platinum Jubilee on February 6.

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 6


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> View attachment 249722



My reply to this is that I'm thinking of two words. The first one starts with an F and the second one ends with an F

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 10


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



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## Spunk3yMunk3y

Back when I lived in HK in my younger years... Yeah it tasted kinda sweet and salty... Get your sweat in a bottle guys!

Reactions: Funny 9


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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 4 | Can relate 5


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## Hooked



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## DarthBranMuffin



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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 12


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## Grand Guru

*My 250 million year old salt has expired*

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 6 | Funny 2


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 9


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and one-liners*

Could a librarian be called a bookkeeper?

Could a referee be a game warden?

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked

*Puns and one-liners*

Could a librarian be called a bookkeeper?

Could a referee be called a game warden?

Reactions: Funny 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 8


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Winner 6


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## Spunk3yMunk3y

Why do your feet smell, but your nose runs?
Why is it called a building if its already built?
Why are they called apartments, if they're all connected?

Reactions: Like 5 | Funny 3


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Like 6 | Winner 3 | Funny 1


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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked

Seen in Brakpan a day or two ago (posted on FB)

Reactions: Funny 10


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## Hooked

*English words that have long been forgotten *

Shivviness
The uncomfortable feeling of wearing new underwear.

Cacoethes
The irresistible urge to do something inadvisable.

Reactions: Like 1 | Can relate 2 | Informative 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Funny 9


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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 9


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## Hooked

His bakkie should switch to vaping.

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 10


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 8


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Hooked said:


> View attachment 249884



Evidence at last.

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Like 11


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked

"I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter, “Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite”.

Reactions: Funny 6 | Creative 1


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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> "I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter, “Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite”.



Did it come with s side of French fries?

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Grand Guru

It's a slippery slope!

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Grand Guru

At least they are honest about it

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked



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## Drikusw



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 8


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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Like 4 | Winner 2 | Funny 1


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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 250487



Weird, I think it is also the slogan of the local taxi association....

Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 1


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## Grand Guru

*My wife got me an engraved watch band. A little ominous..*

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Grand Guru

*Do they ask this question about all the athletes?*

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Grand Guru

Not everyone will get this one


*Vanilla Ice stop sign in my neighborhood.*

Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 2


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## Kuhlkatz

Grand Guru said:


> Not everyone will get this one
> 
> 
> *Vanilla Ice stop sign in my neighborhood.*


Methinks the One Way should be in the opposite direction, allright?

Reactions: Like 1


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Kuhlkatz said:


> Methinks the One Way should be in the opposite direction, allright?



You could be right if you draw a distinction between ebb and flow, flow being forward / to the right 

"... All right stop
Collaborate and listen
Ice is back with a brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop?
Yo, I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow ..."

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays
*

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Stranger

If you are what you eat, then chicken is a vegetable.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## DavyH

An old friend left this one on YouFace or whatever it’s called -

‘When I was young, I was poor. But, after years of hard, honest, painstaking work, I am no longer young.....’

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 4 | Can relate 1


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## Hooked

...

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> ...


Is that for the person or the deed?

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Drikusw

1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.
6. Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
12. My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band.
13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.
15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
16. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”
18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering.
20. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
22. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.
25. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.
26. Two monocles got together and made a spectacle of themselves

Reactions: Like 5 | Funny 4


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


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## Hooked

I bought an egg poacher and this is the box. Other than the typo in "frist", I can't help wondering why businessmen would be so keen on egg poachers!

Reactions: Funny 6


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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> I bought an egg poacher and this is the box. Other than the typo in "frist", I can't help wondering why businessmen would be so keen on egg poachers!
> 
> View attachment 250695



And how many kinds of foods can an "egg" poacher actually fit?

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked



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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 250772


Tell your local Restaurant to offer to fry up some Deep Sea Hake for him/her

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 2


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## Hooked

*Puns and one-liners*

Could a dairyman be called a cowboy? 

Could a cabinetmaker be called a President?

Reactions: Like 4 | Funny 1


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## Munro31

Hooked said:


> I bought an egg poacher and this is the box. Other than the typo in "frist", I can't help wondering why businessmen would be so keen on egg poachers!
> 
> View attachment 250695


Apparently you can eat the whole device as well

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 9


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Grand Guru

Space Flavored!​

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

Grand Guru said:


> Space Flavored!​


Tastes like a vacuum

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## DarthBranMuffin

Grand Guru said:


> Space Flavored!​



Do you get an empty bottle, or a bottle filled with government promises... or is it just CO2, filling the space between the Coca Cola?

Reactions: Funny 5


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## DarthBranMuffin

DarthBranMuffin said:


> Do you get an empty bottle, or a bottle filled with government promises... or is it just CO2, filling the space between the Coca Cola?



My friend google is just as unclear as the bottle it comes in...

Reactions: Funny 4 | Informative 1


----------



## Gadgetboy

Stargazing around a campfire? Sounds like a Braai to me... Maybe a Braai en Klippies flavour?

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked

*English words that have long been forgotten 

Grufeling*
To lie wrapped up and in a comfortable manner.

*Dysania*
The extreme difficulty one experiences when getting out of bed in the morning.

*Slugabed*
A person who stays in bed after the usual or proper time to get up.

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 1 | Informative 2


----------



## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> *English words that have long been forgotten
> 
> Grufeling*
> To lie wrapped up and in a comfortable manner.
> 
> *Dysania*
> The extreme difficulty one experiences when getting out of bed in the morning.
> 
> *Slugabed*
> A person who stays in bed after the usual or proper time to get up.



This morning I gave myself some extra grufeling time right after the dysania kicked in. Nothing beats being slugabed now and again...

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 2


----------



## Hooked

DarthBranMuffin said:


> This morning I gave myself some extra grufeling time right after the dysania kicked in. Nothing beats being slugabed now and again...


Especially now that there's an early morning nip in the air!

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 3 | Winner 2


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

If you’re going to slip..​

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 3


----------



## Grand Guru

Challenge. What number do you see?

Reactions: Like 2


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## Raindance

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 251088
> 
> Challenge. What number do you see?


8452839

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 3


----------



## Grand Guru

Raindance said:


> 8452839


Nope

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 4


----------



## Munro31

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 251088
> 
> Challenge. What number do you see?


3452839

Reactions: Agree 2 | Winner 1


----------



## DarthBranMuffin

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 251088
> 
> Challenge. What number do you see?



3452839

Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 1


----------



## Hooked

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 251088
> 
> Challenge. What number do you see?


45283

Reactions: Like 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Grand Guru

Hooked said:


> 45283


Look again. The answer is 3452839

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Informative 1


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Grand Guru said:


> Look again. The answer is 3452839


I think the answer maybe another +1 on them reading specs


----------



## Munro31

Hooked said:


> View attachment 251127


This stuff is potent, not only does it kill household pets, it will kill insecticide as well! A poison to rule all others.

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 4


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Stranger

I see 15288, I also see dead people, go figure.

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked

Today is officially the first day of Autumn.

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 3


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and one-liners*

I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell. —Gary Delaney, comedian

To be or not to be a horse rider, that is equestrian. —Mark Simmons, comedian

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Hooked said:


> View attachment 250988




Jail and prison aren't synonyms. According to Merriam- Webster :

"_Jail_ and _prison_ are often used interchangeably as places of confinement. If you want to be specific _jail_ can be used to describe a place for those awaiting trial or held for minor crimes, whereas _prison_ describes a place for convicted criminals of serious crimes."

How's that for being pedantic?

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 5


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## DarthBranMuffin

@Puff the Magic Dragon arrives at the pearly gates and knocks.... 

"*WHO IS IT*?" shouts St Peter from inside... 

"*It is I*!" returns Puff...

"*Dammit, not another pedantic ECIGSSA forumite!!!*" shouts St Peter...

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

In keeping with my pedantic theme.

@Grand Guru asked people "What number do you see?"

@Raindance , @ARYANTO , @Munro31 etc were all correct in that they replied accurately to your question. They reported the number that they saw. They may have seen the incorrect number but they still answered the question correctly by reporting the number that they saw.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 2 | Winner 2 | Funny 4


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## Stranger

If you put your mouse on the image and scroll up and down really quickly, the number is easy to see, you should try it.

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1 | Informative 1


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Puff the Magic Dragon said:


> Jail and prison aren't synonyms. According to Merriam- Webster :
> 
> "_Jail_ and _prison_ are often used interchangeably as places of confinement. If you want to be specific _jail_ can be used to describe a place for those awaiting trial or held for minor crimes, whereas _prison_ describes a place for convicted criminals of serious crimes."
> 
> How's that for being pedantic?


This is way more pedantic ...
The American Police Administration Handbook defines? it as follows;
"_In the US, jails are typically under the authority of the County or the Sheriff of said County, and they are used to hold those awaiting trial, sentencing, or those serving a sentence of 364 days or fewer. Prisons on the other hand fall under the Department of Corrections, and whilst the durational aspect is the easiest to illustrate of the differences between jail and prison, it isn't necessarily a definitive definition._"

Reactions: Like 2 | Informative 2


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Stranger said:


> If you put your mouse on the image and scroll up and down really quickly, the number is easy to see, you should try it.


I wanna know who actually tried that

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2


----------



## Stranger

I made you look
I made you look
I made you look a stinkie poop.

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> I wanna know who actually tried that


 Me

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6 | Creative 1


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## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 8 | Can relate 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 11


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

OK....fine?

Reactions: Funny 10


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 10


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

No thanks. Not even at that price!!!

Reactions: Funny 9


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 10


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 11


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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> *Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays
> 
> View attachment 251450
> *


I remember my mates telling me this at School as we snuck a puff behind the bicycle shed

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Drikusw

.

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 251576



With Cheese and Jam....

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Stranger

Sies man

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

These batteries don’t fill me with confidence.​

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 10


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## Hooked

*Puns and one-liners*

Q: What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A: a carpet

Q: Why did the crab never share?
A: Because he's shellfish

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 5


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## Raindance

Q: What do you call a blind deer?
A: No Idear

Regards

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 4 | Winner 2 | Funny 2


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## Grand Guru

Dish washers in Denmark are super judgy.​

Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

I don’t think I trust this tax software.​

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Grand Guru

We need this!

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## DarthBranMuffin



Reactions: Agree 3 | Winner 1


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## Intuthu Kagesi

DarthBranMuffin said:


> View attachment 251735


Wasn't it Yoda

Reactions: Funny 2


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## DarthBranMuffin

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> Wasn't it Yoda



That's not Dumbledore either....

Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

DarthBranMuffin said:


> That's not Dumbledore either....


Clearly Covid hasn't affected your sense of humour

Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Akil

DarthBranMuffin said:


> View attachment 251735


This is so triggering

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2


----------



## Munro31

DarthBranMuffin said:


> View attachment 251735


So what does Gandalf say???

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Paul33



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked

And so it was said...

*“(CNN) *On Wednesday, former President Donald Trump sat down with the "Full Send" podcast for nearly an hour…

During that conversation, the topic of Ukraine -- and Russia's invasion -- came up. Which led to this exchange between host Kyle Forgeard and the 45th president:

Forgeard: "What do you see happening next then? 'Cause it seems like the tensions are high. How does this all end? Is this going to be like a long-term thing? How do you see it unfolding?

Trump: "Well, and I said this a long time ago, if this happens, we are playing right into their hands. Green energy. The windmills. They don't work. They're too expensive. They kill all the birds. They ruin your landscapes. And yet the environmentalists love the windmills. And I've been preaching this for years. The windmills. And I had them way down. But the windmills are the most expensive energy you can have. And they don't work. And by the way, they last a period of 10 years and by the time they start rusting and rotting all over the place, nobody ever takes them down. They just go on to the next piece of prairie or land and destroy that."

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays*

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> *Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays*
> 
> View attachment 251790


Also explains why my Grandparents had so much energy and were always smiling

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Paul33



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 251989


That's a solid deal

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

The license plate game is strong with this one.​

Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Grand Guru

Restroom at a restaurant and this is the view from the toilet.​

Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

π for pie.​

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Paul33

Grand Guru said:


> Restroom at a restaurant and this is the view from the toilet.​


thats kak funny... see what i did there...

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


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## Paul33

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 252014


almost correct

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 10


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and one-liners*

Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.


Q. How much money does a pirate pay for corn?
A. a buccaneer.

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Raindance said:


> Q: What do you call a blind deer?
> A: No Idear
> 
> Regards



Q: What do you call a disabled and blind deer?

A: Still no ideer

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 9


----------



## DarthBranMuffin



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 8


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## Intuthu Kagesi

The letter below has no unintentional ambiguity, nor is it strange or misspelt, giving it a different meaning, however it is a delightful, insightful and humorous slice of life, in the form of a request letter from John Steinbeck to Marilyn Monroe;

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 8 | Funny 1


----------



## Grand Guru

New stove instructions

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

Eskom Headquarters

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 252138



But when you do read it in English, you have to do it in a Afrikaans accent.... makes it so much better....

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Paul33

DarthBranMuffin said:


> But when you do read it in English, you have to do it in a Afrikaans accent.... makes it so much better....


Reading it in Afrikaans in an English accent is fun too!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays.*

Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5 | Can relate 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 10


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and one-liners*

Don't interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you'll hear some crosswords.

I'm a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 3 | Funny 2


----------



## Grand Guru

Anatomy…

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8 | Creative 1


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 5 | Funny 2


----------



## Dela Rey Steyn



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 5 | Funny 6


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 7 | Useful 1


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 11


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Paul33

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> View attachment 252438
> View attachment 252439
> View attachment 252440
> View attachment 252441
> View attachment 252442
> View attachment 252443
> View attachment 252444
> View attachment 252445
> View attachment 252446
> View attachment 252447
> View attachment 252448
> View attachment 252449
> View attachment 252450
> View attachment 252451
> View attachment 252452

Reactions: Winner 5 | Funny 1


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 8 | Creative 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5 | Can relate 3


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 252520


We did something similar in the 1978 "fuel crisis", placing a block of high density foam under our accelerator pedals .... placebo or not ... it worked for me

Reactions: Like 4 | Informative 2


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads


*

Reactions: Like 4 | Funny 3


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 6 | Informative 1 | Useful 1


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Grand Guru

Some ground rules!

Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> View attachment 252597


I bet you’d be the one paying 125£/h

Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and one-liners*

Did you hear how they caught the great produce bandit? He stopped to take a leek.

My neighbor texted me, "I just made synonym buns!"
I texted back, "You mean like grammar use to make?" I haven't heard from her since.

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads


*

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 3 | Creative 2


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

Copy and paste!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru

Must really big!

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

Why font matters

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and one-liners*

Q: How do you stay warm in an empty room?
A: Go stand in the corner—it’s always 90 degrees.

Q: What kind of music are balloons afraid of?
A: Pop Music

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

I’m dying to know what the surprise is.​

Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

This Korean burger place.​

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6 | Informative 1


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## DavyH

Hooked said:


> View attachment 253630


There used to be (could still be, I haven’t been there for years) a sign near Crown Mines at a specialised training centre, identical layout: 
Drive carefully 
Blind people

I sincerely hope they do.

Reactions: Funny 3 | Informative 1


----------



## Adephi



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and one-liners*

Q: What is the musical part of a snake?
A: The scales.

Q: Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
A: Because a dog was after his bones!

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru

Mike Tyson’s car?

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru

An honest company

Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Marius Keinhans



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 8


----------



## Hooked

Old ads

Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and one-liners*

Don't go bacon my heart. I couldn't if I fried.

I love you from my head tomatoes.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


----------



## ARYANTO

And so it was drawn....


Pawel Kuczynski
Subject to one’s own interpretation, the artist seems to be encouraging humans to climb the mountain of knowledge, while sort of equating disability to those who choose not to, or worse.

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 3


----------



## ARYANTO

Pawel Kuczynski
People are so worried about their online presence and the image they portray on the internet, that it is inevitable that they'll experience some sort of panic or anxiety attack.

Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 1


----------



## ARYANTO

Pawel Kuczynski
Once we're been ''eaten'' by powerful governments, all they do is "poop on our grave" even after we're gone.

Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4 | Optimistic 1


----------



## Grand Guru

found in a public bathroom at local restaurant

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7 | Informative 1


----------



## Grand Guru

Customers next door need not apply​

Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru

Wind seeker

Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru

Where do they sell these?

Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8 | Informative 1


----------



## Grand Guru

IKEA

Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 6 | Creative 1


----------



## Grand Guru

Poor Dan.

Reactions: Funny 9 | Informative 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

True!

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 6 | Informative 1


----------



## Grand Guru

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m getting pretty sick of..​

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

_

_

Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru

Proof reading…

Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

This is the Norwegian word for «speed bumps».​

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7 | Informative 1


----------



## Grand Guru

Parking rules made simple!

Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 6 | Creative 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5 | Informative 1


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7 | Informative 1


----------



## Grand Guru

Latest Marvel superhero is coming straight out of China

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Marius Keinhans

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 254941


Need a lot of those doorhangers for our local town councilors around here, and the municipal workers, and the police, and the ................

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2 | Can relate 2


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 3


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6 | Optimistic 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 11


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and one-liners*

Q: What do you call a pig that does karate?
A: a pork chop

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: an investigator

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 254936

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

Very thoughtful !

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 8


----------



## Grand Guru

Organic!

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

*Yes but how?*

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8 | Can relate 1


----------



## Grand Guru

A gift for our Gynae!

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

Karen’s car

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7 | Informative 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

Me too!

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Adephi

Not sure where to put this so I'm putting this here.

Guess somebody was fired a few years later..

Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 2


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Raindance

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 255546


Yeah, I dated her as well…

Regards

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

It’s referendum time in Denmar!​

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

*Can we trust this review?


*

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

*Any thoughts what the pin code could be?*

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of their sentence.

When an escaped prisoner was caught camping out in the woods it was a clear case of criminal in tent.

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 11


----------



## Grand Guru

Mother’s Day special!

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays ...


*

Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked

Thumbs up for Yzerfontein folks again!

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 255947




Open the packet... crush the chips in the packet... use a spoon...

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 7


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

If a plant is sad, do other plants photosympathise with it?
Like, “I chlorofeel you man”?

Julie Andrews refuses to wear cheap lipsticks, especially ones that crumble easily and have a bad smell. 
She explained that “Super coloured fragile lipstick gives me halitosis.”

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon

Funny on several levels.

Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon

Yes. You chose not to listen during your English classes.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon

Misspelled tattoos are particularly funny when the person is trying to be clever.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6 | Can relate 1


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

Found in an elevator in Germany​

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

We found a lost disc golf frisbee while playing which had the owners name and number on the back, so we texted him this photo​

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

*Definitely haunted!*

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

*You had one job!*

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays...


*

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 5 | Funny 2


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

The Traininator​

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

Drink up!​

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

*Berrien what?*

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

*Cash accepting machine…*

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked

I must get this company. My windows really need ironing.

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?

I tried to call in sick because of diarrhoea, but I just got told to get my sh*t together.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru

I get the feeling this isn’t the sender’s real name​

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7 | Creative 1


----------



## Grand Guru

Great ad placement.​

Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

It smells like poo here..​

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 8


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays ...


*

Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 3 | Funny 1


----------



## ARYANTO

@Hooked

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> @Hooked
> View attachment 256605



This truly is apt @ARYANTO! It drives me nuts when things are not in alphabetical order

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 1 | Can relate 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

*Self-explanatory


*

Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

*A meal for your mistress 

*

Reactions: Funny 6 | Useful 1


----------



## Hooked

*What would your rename be?*

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

Hooked said:


> View attachment 256708
> 
> 
> *What would your rename be?*


Mc Poo Tin?

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Munro31

Hooked said:


> View attachment 256708
> 
> 
> *What would your rename be?*


McComrade

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 4


----------



## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 256708
> 
> 
> *What would your rename be?*




McWhatDoYouCallMcNuggetsInRussian

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Stranger

Stolichnaya chicken

responisbly sourced in the Ukraine

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 2 | Funny 3 | Informative 1


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru

Bathroom at San Jose, CA airport.​

Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

*When your little princess makes the rules


*

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon

Exam Answers

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 10


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays ...


*

Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4 | Can relate 1


----------



## Drikusw



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## DavyH

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 256966


Yes, and I've lost my senses of taste and smell. Possibly because I can't afford to eat.

Reactions: Funny 4 | Can relate 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru

*Ummm maybe you should go back.


*

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8 | Creative 1


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

*You are what you eat.*

Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

*It’s about to get real!*

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

Asian restaurant in Stockholm going the extra mile.​

Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Grand Guru

*Solid advice!*

Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 9


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Whenever the library gets messy, the librarian says we ought to be ashamed of our shelves.

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. It was tense!

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 8


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 3 | Winner 2 | Funny 2


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

ARYANTO said:


> View attachment 257116


This man was off his rocker

Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 1


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Stranger

It was an Indian wedding

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 257200


I take it, it's realy sh##

Reactions: Funny 2


----------



## Adephi

Lucky people in Trichard get brand new potholes

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked

US Monkeypox travel alert:




And how would one know if someone has genital lesions???

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 5


----------



## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 257226




Same thing...

Reactions: Funny 1


----------



## Stranger

I don't get it

A court of law can give you a life sentence and you can be out in ten years

Marriage ....... no such luck

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## DarthBranMuffin

Stranger said:


> I don't get it
> 
> A court of law can give you a life sentence and you can be out in ten years
> 
> Marriage ....... no such luck



Marriage you can also be out in under 10 years... just ask Daisy De Melker

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Munro31

Stranger said:


> I don't get it
> 
> A court of law can give you a life sentence and you can be out in ten years
> 
> Marriage ....... no such luck


Death is a pleasant relief that shouldn't be disregarded

Reactions: Agree 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru

I think I’ll just take the stairs.​

Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

*This is a real book which has a 4 star rating on Goodreads.com and is selling on Amazon.com*

Reactions: Funny 8 | Informative 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays ...



*

Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 3


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> *Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays ...
> 
> 
> View attachment 257295
> *


I'm old enough to remember all this sh## ... little wonder that so many of us succumbed to the social pressures

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 1


----------



## Stranger

Just saying

Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

Robot vacuum instruction.

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

What kind of psycho would sleep this way?​

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

Hope you’re satisfied now, Karen.​

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

*This signs needs to be a little clearer 


*

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

*I want all of them!*

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

*RIP in peace 


*

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

*Very limited editio!


*

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

*Not for the faint hearted *

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

Grand Guru said:


> *This signs needs to be a little clearer
> 
> View attachment 257460
> *


Why do we protect the stupid ... back in the day we just allowed a-holes to cull themselves

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 2


----------



## Munro31

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> Why do we protect the stupid ... back in the day we just allowed a-holes to cull themselves


Yip, now the planet is overflowing. But the scary part is they have taken over everything right under our noses, except , no wait they are in there too

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Kuhlkatz

Grand Guru said:


> *Not for the faint hearted *
> 
> View attachment 257465



Would not trust the offered services at all, no matter how speical those scary card readings sound.
Why the chain & lock ? 
I'd expect any psychic that can tell past, present and future to know exactly when that sign is gonna get nicked.

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers.

“Check out these bicycle wheels,” Jade spoke.

Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Hooked

Clearly she didn't write a sequel "And how to get away with it."

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Munro31

Hooked said:


> View attachment 257490


Oh China you sneaky bastard you

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

Things are getting bad in LA.​

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

*Tempting!*

Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

He DIYed for your sins.​

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

Say racism, no to respect.​

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

Found this with my grandmother’s recipes after she passed recently.​

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

Road Rage​

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

*So many questions *

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Drikusw



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Hearing about the haunted refrigerator was chilling.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 257926


I'd frame that

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 3


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 5


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5 | Can relate 1


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

*NSS Car sticker


*

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

Mother and son at the bank

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

The year is 2022… Humankind has achieved the pinnacle of marketing​

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

*vol. 5?


*

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

*Seen at the dentist 


*

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 4 | Creative 1


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

Flavoured water ideas for the next lockdown

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 4 | Creative 1


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 2


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> *Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays
> 
> View attachment 258153
> *


Some of us on the forum are old enough to remember these ads, and puffed these stinkiest of them all stinkies

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 3


----------



## ARYANTO

Hooked said:


> *Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays
> 
> View attachment 258153
> *

Reactions: Like 3


----------



## Stranger

I very nearly said "Yes I have had a few Camels in my time"

but I am not going to .......... I know you.

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi

Stranger said:


> I very nearly said "Yes I have had a few Camels in my time"
> 
> but I am not going to .......... I know you.


I'd offer to hold it still whilst you mounted it, buuuuuuut ... I know you too, (and NOT Biblically!)

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Munro31

Stranger said:


> I very nearly said "Yes I have had a few Camels in my time"
> 
> but I am not going to .......... I know you.


Pictures or it never happened

Reactions: Funny 2


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 6 | Can relate 1


----------



## Adephi



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

*sign in a restaurant bathroom 


*

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru

*USA!


*

Reactions: Funny 5 | Creative 1


----------



## Grand Guru

*great service!


*

Reactions: Funny 5 | Creative 1


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*


Why does lightning shock people? Because it doesn’t know how to conduct itself.


Mosquitoes are like family – annoying, but they carry your blood.

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 2


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays ...


*

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## DarthBranMuffin



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

IKEA instructions manual

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

Oneteen Onety One?​

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

It says “Municipal road maintenance service”.​

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru

Now I’m curious as to what are ‘Sunscreen Accessories’.​

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

*For your noisy neighbous


*

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a big plus.

Viagra shipment stolen. Cops looking for a gang of hardened criminals.

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 6 | Can relate 1


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2 | Creative 1


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Grand Guru

*Who does this?*

Reactions: Funny 5 | Can relate 1


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## Grand Guru

I stood there for a solid minute and they didn’t do a gatdamn thing.​

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

*Some sausage anyone?*

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

*At least something does!


*

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

*Restaurant in Italy *

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 2 | Funny 3


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Munro31

Grand Guru said:


> *Who does this?*
> View attachment 258803


I've been known to dabble...

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked

So on the other days she doesn't work hard?

Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


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## Munro31

Hooked said:


> View attachment 258826
> 
> 
> So on the other days she doesn't work hard?


I have the same condition

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



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## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 258980



Carla/Carlos

And a baby boy born in the grass? Russel...

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 2


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## Hooked

DarthBranMuffin said:


> Carla/Carlos
> 
> And a baby boy born in the grass? Russel...



Love the Russel one!

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> Love the Russel one!


and the one born under a car?

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Drikusw



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Hooked

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> and the one born under a car?



Hyde

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I’ll do algebra, trig, and even statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line.

Which way did the programmers go? They went data way!

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 3


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> Hyde


Jack Hyde

Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Munro31

Hooked said:


> Hyde


Better than Oil Leak

Reactions: Funny 3


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## DarthBranMuffin

Munro31 said:


> Better than Oil Leak



So if Harry's son was born on the back of a Ranger, could they name him Harrison Ford?

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Munro31

DarthBranMuffin said:


> So if Harry's son was born on the back of a Ranger, could they name him Harrison Ford?


No!!! Harrison is a reliable upstanding citizen!!!

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## DarthBranMuffin

Puff the Magic Dragon said:


> View attachment 259054



Maybe she lives in Australia...

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## DarthBranMuffin

Puff the Magic Dragon said:


> View attachment 259061



Parent's isle...

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 2


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## DarthBranMuffin

Puff the Magic Dragon said:


> View attachment 259064



And that is how Einstein found his first Atom.... that was his story and he stuck to it...

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Grand Guru

*New coworker treats everyone with some brownies *

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Grand Guru

*How you know it’s truly family owned 


*

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Grand Guru

*Bad spellink


*

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Grand Guru

*Finally found rock bottom 


*

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Grand Guru

*found This creative 


*

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 4


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## Grand Guru

*Overflow”ed” parking*

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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked

Command them to return immediately or they will be suspended without pay.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Grand Guru

The get well basket my wife made me for my vasectomy today.​

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

*Healthy snacks 


*

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Grand Guru

My new shoebaccas.​

Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 2


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## Raindance

Puff the Magic Dragon said:


> View attachment 259054


So she can tell the time while working ofcourse…

Dahhh!

Regards

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Grand Guru

*Farewell cake!


*

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Grand Guru

*When they keep coming back…

*

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru

*Darth Water


*

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 1


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 3


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

In Venice, Italy.

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru

*My dog’s medication *

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


----------



## Grand Guru

This elevator button

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

*Found the perfect box


*

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4 | Thanks 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I try wearing tight jeans, but I can never pull it off.

A friend asked if they could use a little space on my usb. I told them I wouldn’t mind one bit.

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Munro31

Hooked said:


> View attachment 259847


Must be Brakpan?

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked

*Strange place names*

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

Poorsche: the poor man’s Porsche.​

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Grand Guru

Knowledge is power​

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



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----------



## Hooked

*Old ads


*

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


----------



## Hooked

Note to women: Do not rape a shooting music video

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked

*Unusual City Names*

- Medicine Hat (Alberta, Canada)

- Sexsmith (Alberta, Canada)

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Akil

Hooked said:


> View attachment 260278


Where are they having this sale?

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage. She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns. I look at the therapist and said, “Divorce is strong with this one!”

What do you call an imaginary colour? A pigment of your imagination.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

I've also often heard, "Ek love dit!" 

I hate it when people mix languages. Speak either English or Afrikaans, finished en klaar!

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



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## Intuthu Kagesi

Hooked said:


> View attachment 260432


Pics please

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



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----------



## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked



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----------



## Hooked

*Unusual City Names - Alabama (AL)

*
- Ai - (At least they have artificial intelligence!)
- Allgood
- Blackman
- Bravo
- Brilliant (All the smart ones go here)

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


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## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

When math teachers retire, how do they deal with the aftermath?

Do people who climb the world’s highest mountain ever rest?

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Hooked said:


> *Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays
> 
> View attachment 260476
> *




Notwithstanding the fact that the world is/was pretty much hard of thinking I couldn't believe that such a product could have been marketed. 

After a quick google, I found that the "advert" is a joke, albeit a bit of a sick one.

Here is another Reaver product:

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Munro31

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> View attachment 260693


Depending who is doing what, this could be awesome or life shattering!

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Intuthu Kagesi

Munro31 said:


> Depending who is doing what, this could be awesome or life shattering!


Weeeeeeeeeeeeeell ... it is in, (on the), Pleasant-side, so one can hope

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 3 | Creative 1


----------



## Grand Guru

*Family beer and liquor 


*

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru

*why make it simple?


*

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru

*chesticles!*

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked

*Old ad


*

Reactions: Like 4


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## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Grand Guru

*Misfortune cookie


*

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked

*Unusual City Names - Alaska *

- Chicken
- Deadman Reach
- Eek
- Flat
- Humpy Creek

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 2


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I wasn’t originally going to get a heart transplant, but then I had a change of heart.

I’m having so much trouble getting a pair of camouflage pants; I can never seem to find any.

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Adephi

This product name was not thought through properly.

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked



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----------



## Hooked



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----------



## Hooked



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----------



## Hooked

*Remember when ...


*

Reactions: Like 2 | Can relate 2


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

People have no manners these days. Be polite - dump the body in your own backyard.

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Stranger



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Stranger



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 6


----------



## Stranger



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Adephi

Old but gold.

Reactions: Funny 7


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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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----------



## Grand Guru



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----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Grand Guru

@Jean claude Vaaldamme

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 3


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Stranger

I see nothing wrong with that ad whatsoever.

Reactions: Funny 2


----------



## DarthBranMuffin

Stranger said:


> I see nothing wrong with that ad whatsoever.



And you didn't see the projection equipment either...

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



Reactions: Funny 6


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## Hooked

*10 Ways You Know You’re in SOUTH AFRICA*
By Drew Binsky [American travel blogger and video maker]

“10 things that represent South African culture (in my humble opinion!)”

- Rusks – “South African heaven”
- Special South African Lingo – howzit, ya (ja) “and the phrase ‘now now’ actually means later!”
- Wimpy – a leading SA fastfood restaurant that’s kind of like McDonald’s mixed with Subway … but the fries are a bit Wimpy
- Biltong – like beef jerky but a lot tastier
- Wild Animals – SA is home to more than 20 national parks
- Braai – used as a noun and a verb, and if you call it a barbecue they will get offended
- Cricket and Rugby – “the two most popular sports in South Africa brought to the country by the Brits… but as a typical American… I’m clueless about rugby and cricket… but they look like fun sports to play”.
- Robots – “maybe the strangest thing in this video! South Africans call traffic lights robots!”
- Lip Ice – “you know it’s a South African talking when they call it lip ice” instead of chapstick or lip balm
- Safety – “you need to check twice if you’ve locked the gate, your house, your car and closed all the windows”.

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Drikusw



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 4 | Winner 2 | Can relate 1


----------



## Hooked

The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's love advice was hilarious and genius.

*The query:*

Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed: Desperate


*The response (that came weeks later out of the blue)… *

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download Snoring Loudly Beta version.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck

Tech Support TEC

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


----------



## Hooked

*At the Comrades Marathon


*

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 6


----------



## supermoto

Que?

Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Munro31

supermoto said:


> Que?
> View attachment 261931


That's expensive for the Spanish

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked

*Unusual City Names - Arizona*

- Bumble Bee

- Carefree

- Catfish Paradise

- Chloride

- Constellation

Reactions: Like 2 | Informative 2


----------



## Adephi



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Password looks at itself in the mirror: “Don’t listen to Google. You are a strong, confident password.”

Why can’t you take anything balloons say seriously? They’re always full of hot air!

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Akil

Hooked said:


> View attachment 262287


It does feel that way sometimes

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



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----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


----------



## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> View attachment 262401



Putin and other officials have taken this to heart.








Video: Putin seen falling asleep along with his officials during meeting | Daily Mail Online


Vladimir Putin is seen falling asleep in a meeting following claims he has 'complained to doctors about fatigue'. Russian officials are seen joining the President for a slumber.




www.dailymail.co.uk

Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## Grand Guru

9 QUINTILLION unread emails​

Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Adephi

Soon Charles will be suffering from gender dysphoria.

Reactions: Funny 8


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 262463


 Just goes to show - never give up!

Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 4


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

My tailor is happy to make a pair of pants for me – or at least, sew it seams.

How do you make a hotdog stand? You take their seat away.

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 2


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


----------



## Grand Guru

Genius!

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1 | Funny 2 | Creative 1


----------



## Grand Guru

Hell called

Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

The ultimate guide!

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru

Target does what?

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 4


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Winner 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 2


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

“Use your own toothbrush,” Darren bristled.

The girl quit her job at the donut factory as she was fed up with the hole business.

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Agree 2 | Funny 3


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 3 | Can relate 1


----------



## Hooked

ARYANTO said:


> View attachment 263191


A friend of mine sent something similar - but Whatsapp, not email. And this has happens all the time with him. I've now told him that it's not OK with me and that it's downright rude not to reply to someone (and I don't make a nuisance of myself on Whatsapp, as I know how irritating it is to receive a load of unnecessary Whatsapps).

What has happened to good manners? To common decency? People either don't reply, or they msg in the middle of the night because that happens to be when they think of something that they want to say. That you might be sleeping doesn't occur to them - they simply don't care. Nowadays it's all about* ME *and what *I* want. Fortunately for me I'm a deep sleeper and I don't even hear notification tones, even though my phone is right next to me on the bedside table!

Reactions: Agree 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 7


----------



## DarthBranMuffin

Hooked said:


> View attachment 263199



Or was he a no show... maybe the Judge just didn't see him

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 6


----------



## Hooked

A nose is indeed beyond meat!

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 1


----------



## Hooked



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## ARYANTO



Reactions: Funny 4


----------



## Hooked

*Unusual City Names - Arkansas*

- Bald Knob
- Big Fork
- Buck Knob
- Cash
- Defiance

Reactions: Funny 3


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Grand Guru

My hens think he’s the bees knees.​

Reactions: Funny 1


----------



## Grand Guru



Reactions: Funny 5


----------



## Stranger

Hooked said:


> A friend of mine sent something similar - but Whatsapp, not email. And this has happens all the time with him. I've now told him that it's not OK with me and that it's downright rude not to reply to someone (and I don't make a nuisance of myself on Whatsapp, as I know how irritating it is to receive a load of unnecessary Whatsapps).
> 
> What has happened to good manners? To common decency? People either don't reply, or they msg in the middle of the night because that happens to be when they think of something that they want to say. That you might be sleeping doesn't occur to them - they simply don't care. Nowadays it's all about* ME *and what *I* want. Fortunately for me I'm a deep sleeper and I don't even hear notification tones, even though my phone is right next to me on the bedside table!


Yeah I kinda know how you feel. You get a message and people want you to drop everything you are doing and reply instantly. I mean where do these people get off. Do they think the whole world revolves around them them. I mean it does not matter if you had a shyte day, there is no power, the kids need bathing and there is no wifi and you have ran out of bucks for data.

So rude.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I’ve often heard that “icy” is the easiest word to spell. Looking at it now, I see why.

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside the box.

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

U hit I su​

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

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## Silver

Hooked said:


> View attachment 263723



ive had a few crazy interpretations of medication at Clicks and Dischem over the years
most pharmacists are good
but some are pretty clueless

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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru

My wife had cookies made to celebrate my vasectomy.​

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## Grand Guru

FitKing Delicious Snack Bar​

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## Grand Guru

Subtitles!

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## Grand Guru

inspiring brand name

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

This waffle house in Barcelona, Spain.​

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Unusual City Names - California*

- Avocado

- Badwater

- Bummerville

- Copperopolis - (Say that five times fast)

- Doghouse Junction

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## Munro31

Hooked said:


> View attachment 263623


I think this explains my bite marks

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

I decided to get some velcro for my shoes instead of laces, because why knot?

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

*Shit!

*

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

*Reducing plastic waste…

*

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## Hooked




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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays*

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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Unusual City Names - Colorado *

- Climax
- Dinosaur
- Fairplay
- Last Chance
- Loveland

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Met a girl on a dating site and we just clicked.

I got a reversible jacket for my birthday – can’t wait to see how it turns out.

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## Hooked



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## zx14



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## DarthBranMuffin



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## Puff the Magic Dragon

zx14 said:


> View attachment 264288



Oh, dear. Someone at the RSPB will probably lose his/her/etc job. Are we still allowed to make jokes like this? Isn't this teaching boys to objectify women?

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## Stranger

It did not say "get your tits out for the lads", which is what we used to shout at last orders down the pub

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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Unusual City Names - Connecticut *

- Breakneck
- Gaylordsville
- Mianus - (My anus?)
- Moosup
- Nut Plains

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## Munro31

Hooked said:


> View attachment 264510


I have been dreaming of this my whole life

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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Shout out to people who don’t know what the opposite of in is!

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

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## Hooked



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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Hooked said:


> View attachment 264554




Surely also PATHOLOGICAL

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Adephi



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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Cape Town Municipality quickly corrects ‘school boy’ spelling error on road sign


The City of Cape Town was quick to correct a spelling error painted onto a road in Hanover Park, but South Africans were even quicker at sharing the joke.




www.iol.co.za

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

*A little extreme though.


*

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## Grand Guru

*Dot hog


*

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

The lock on our bathroom door in the break room at work..​

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

*Be careful!

*

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Munro31

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 264769


Very obvious!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Unusual City Names - Delaware *

- Assawoman Bay
- Cocked Hat
- Hourglass
- Long Neck Village
- Middlesex Beach

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

No matter how hard you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays*

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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.

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## ARYANTO



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru

I just took this screenshot from the forum. Am I the only one doing time travel?

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Unusual City Names - Florida 

*- Bland
- Bratt
- Christmas
- Corkscrew - (Lots of drunks)
- Early - (The men here have a problem)

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## supermoto



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I’m giving dead batteries away, free of charge.

Wounds heal better if they are covered. This is an example of gauze and effect.

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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Puff the Magic Dragon



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## Grand Guru

Unintended warning

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## Grand Guru

Has it occurred to Thomas that he might be the problem?​

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## Grand Guru

My dad made a logic map to help him when he argues with my mom.​

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

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## Munro31

Grand Guru said:


> View attachment 265566


I saw this in a 80s porn movie, had a riveting story and unexpected twists

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## Hooked



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## Silver

Hooked said:


> View attachment 265595



lol hooked
i got one the other day from dischem that said take two capsules per day at night 

I just laughed
do these people know that they’re typing in such rubbish?

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## ARYANTO

The Middle Ages are suddenly cool again​

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## ARYANTO



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## ARYANTO

@Resistance

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## Hooked

Silver said:


> lol hooked
> i got one the other day from dischem that said take two capsules per day at night
> 
> I just laughed
> do these people know that they’re typing in such rubbish?


They talk rubbish too, especially when the cashiers dispense advice! I was looking for sweets for diabetics at our local pharmacy. The cashier showed me a packet which said "no added sugar". I explained that no *added* sugar doesn't mean that *no* sugar. My explanation went in one ear and out the other.

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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

*This Walkin fridge


*

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## Grand Guru

*This Van Gogh mug


*

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Unusual City Names - Alabama *

- Burnt Corn
- Climax
- Coffeeville
- Dog Town
- Eclectic

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## Grand Guru

*This one will die trying 


*

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

A life in politics is full of parties.

What do you call a small mother? A minimum.

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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Caramia



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## ddk1979



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

@Jean claude Vaaldamme

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Unusual City Names - Alabama *

- Five Forks
- Gay Meadows
- Hill Number 1 (Yes, the city name has a number in it)
- Hurricane - (Where else?)
- Intercourse

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I hate negative numbers. I’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.

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## Hooked

Business Insider South Africa


Fast, fun, fearless news about business and beyond.




www.businessinsider.co.za

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Unusual City Names - Alabama *

- Leggtown
- Overlook
- Pea Ridge
- Rainbow
- Seman

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## Puff the Magic Dragon

Hooked said:


> View attachment 266425


R100 per kilo for carrots and peas. Excellent marketing by Checkers. They charge R50 per kilo for garden peas and R 12 per kilo for carrots. A 50/50 mix would cost R 62. Mix them together, call them exotic and you can sell them for R 100 per kg. The brilliant part is that people will buy them.

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

Which tower are we meeting at again?

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## Grand Guru

They needed a book for that in the 70s

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## Grand Guru

Someone lied during the job interview

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru

A stripper pole, you mean?

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I had a joke about vacuums, but it sucked.

I got a pair of gloves today, but they’re both lefts. On one hand it’s great, but on the other, it’s just not right.

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru

*It’s ok to do it on the other seats


*

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Old ads which wouldn't be allowed nowadays


*

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

Apple is designing a new automatic car, but they’re having trouble installing Windows!

I was on the toilet, angry and late for work. I thought to myself, “I don’t have time for this sh*t.”

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Drikusw



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

Unusual City Names - Alabama 

- Shades Run
- Slap Out
- Slicklizzard
- Warrior
- Zip City

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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I once got into so much debt that I couldn’t even afford my electricity bills. It was the darkest time of my life.

Have you ever tried blindfolded archery? You don’t know what you’re missing.

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## Hooked



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## baksteen8168

Hooked said:


> View attachment 267280

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Unusual City Names

Manitoba (MB)*
- Flin Flon (Manitoba, Canada)

*New Brunswick (NB)*
- Cape Enrage (New Brunswick, Cananda)

*Qubec (QC)*
- Saint Louis Du-Ha-Ha

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## Drikusw



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

I can only remember 25 letters of the alphabet. I just don’t know why.

Why was it so hot in the stadium after the baseball game? All the fans left!

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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru



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## Adephi



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## Hooked



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## Intuthu Kagesi



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## Intuthu Kagesi



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----------



## Intuthu Kagesi



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## Intuthu Kagesi

and so 'tis was spake ...

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## Hooked



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## Grand Guru

The editor deserves a medal

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## Grand Guru



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## Grand Guru



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----------



## Grand Guru

This year’s calendar

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----------



## Grand Guru

Nailed it

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## Intuthu Kagesi



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## Hooked

We need this!

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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Drikusw



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## Hooked



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## Hooked



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## Hooked

*Puns and One-liners*

To the person that stole my Microsoft Office license, I will find you. You have my Word.

I have an intense fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.

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## Grand Guru

These batteries name!

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## Grand Guru



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## Hooked



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