# Tell us you're South African



## Hooked (24/1/21)

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Reactions: Like 5


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## Hooked (24/1/21)

Turn left at the robot.

Reactions: Like 9 | Winner 1


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## blujeenz (24/1/21)

Tsek, jou mas se

Reactions: Like 5 | Winner 2 | Funny 5


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## zadiac (24/1/21)

Blikaspaai!

Reactions: Like 9 | Winner 1


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## vicTor (24/1/21)

lekker thread !

Reactions: Like 7 | Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Thanks 1


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## Adephi (24/1/21)

Iemand braai nou lekker

Reactions: Like 10 | Winner 1


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## Rob Fisher (24/1/21)

Don't forget your underods!

Reactions: Like 5 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Intuthu Kagesi (24/1/21)

Is jy bef*k?

Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 4


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## Asterix (24/1/21)

What time does your load-shedding start?

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 4 | Funny 6


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## DarthBranMuffin (24/1/21)

Brakpan.... enuf sed...

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 7


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## GerrieP (24/1/21)

Geelvet biltong
Papgooi
Braaibroodjies
Minibus Taxi

Reactions: Like 7 | Winner 2 | Funny 2


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## DarthBranMuffin (24/1/21)

Look ma, the mall has a Starbucks....

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 2 | Funny 5


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## Mr. B (24/1/21)

I'll tell you just now

Reactions: Like 10 | Winner 1


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## Silver (24/1/21)

Some lekker tjoppies on the braai

Reactions: Like 9 | Winner 1


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## Kuhlkatz (24/1/21)

Brannas & Coke?

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## Gringo (25/1/21)

JA Nee....

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 7


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## GerrieP (25/1/21)

.... Eish....

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## Room Fogger (25/1/21)

See you now now

Reactions: Like 6 | Winner 4


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## Stranger (25/1/21)

Room Fogger said:


> See you now now



Nee man, just now. I need the dinges ...

Reactions: Like 7 | Winner 2 | Funny 2


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## Stroodlepuff (25/1/21)



Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1 | Funny 7


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## Stroodlepuff (25/1/21)



Reactions: Funny 11


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## Dela Rey Steyn (25/1/21)

Naught Boet, this is a lank lekker post! Kwaai

Reactions: Like 9 | Winner 1


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## ARYANTO (25/1/21)

''Laai die bakkie''
polisie koffie
pap en vleis 
droee wors
koeksisters en melktert
''vlieg in jou moer''
reen katte en honde
Gupta's
Pofadder [place]

Reactions: Like 7 | Winner 4


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## ARYANTO (25/1/21)



Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 7


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## Stranger (25/1/21)

Around the globe, you call it survival

we call it ...... camping.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Winner 7 | Funny 1


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## THE REAPER (25/1/21)

Samp and beans. 
Pap en stew.

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 5


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## Stranger (25/1/21)

THE REAPER said:


> Samp and beans.
> Pap en stew.



Exactly .... on an open fire in the bush.

Reactions: Like 4 | Winner 3


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## Stranger (25/1/21)

Why do South Africans laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it.

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 9


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## Stranger (25/1/21)



Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 6


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## Stranger (25/1/21)

My pa is groter as you pa

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 5


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## Stroodlepuff (25/1/21)

Mr. B said:


> I'll tell you just now





Room Fogger said:


> See you now now



I know the difference between just now, now now and now, do you?

Reactions: Like 4 | Agree 1 | Funny 5


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## Stroodlepuff (25/1/21)

I am loving this thread

Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 9


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## Stroodlepuff (25/1/21)

Ja nee
Mara why?
Ive got a moerse babelas I need some Creme Soda (or I need a green ambulance)
Izzit

I could go on for hours with this  I should probably do some work though, but thank you for the laughs forumites!

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 7


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## Stranger (25/1/21)

Stranger said:


> My pa is groter as you pa



Nee man, my Ma is groter as you pa

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Stranger (25/1/21)

Jy is reg jou ma se butthole is groter as my pa

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Intuthu Kagesi (25/1/21)

... and one for the Capetonians;

Jou Ma se P##s

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 5


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## Puff the Magic Dragon (25/1/21)

Ja boet

Eina

Sies my kind. Kakkies. Spoeg uit en gooi weg.

Yebo

Jol

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 5


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## Stranger (25/1/21)

niemand in jou ma se gat nie, jy kan 'n Hilux parkeer

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Stranger (25/1/21)

Waarom staan u pa se hilux in my oprit

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Intuthu Kagesi (25/1/21)

Strond <-Not sure how you spell it?

Eet jy met daai vuil bek?

and two from my SADF days ...

Ek sal you arms afpluk en jou doodslaan met die nat einde

Ek sal you kop afpluk, en in jou longe kak

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Adephi (29/1/21)

Haibo

A'we

'Tsek

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Kuhlkatz (29/1/21)

Sorry, I was unable to reply earlier because of loadshedding.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Jengz (29/1/21)

Wozzaaa Wozzaaa, swing swing swing, woooooo, straighten boza! Shap shap.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## Jengz (29/1/21)

MIEEELIIIIIEEEEEESSSS, DAAAANYAAAA, WATAAAACREEEEEST!

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 5


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## YeOldeOke (31/1/21)

Ja well no fine

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 5


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## Hooked (1/2/21)



Reactions: Funny 3


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## RainstormZA (1/2/21)

Time for a braai!!! In the rain!

EDIT: or even in the snow. Lol

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 3


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## supermoto (2/2/21)

I can't say I'm South African because I am actually an Englishman who just happens to live in South Africa

Reactions: Like 3


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## Intuthu Kagesi (2/2/21)

supermoto said:


> I can't say I'm South African because I am actually an Englishman who just happens to live in South Africa


That's what we call a soutie

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 4 | Can relate 1


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## zadiac (2/2/21)

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> Strond <-Not sure how you spell it?
> 
> Eet jy met daai vuil bek?
> 
> ...



Three corrections:

Stront.

Ek sal jou arms afruk en jou deur die bek moer met die nat kant.

Ek sal jou kop afruk en op jou longe kak.



That's how I remember them AND used them!

So you can imagine my giggles when I came across THIS

Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 2


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## Intuthu Kagesi (2/2/21)

zadiac said:


> Three corrections:
> 
> Stront.
> 
> ...




That's hillarious ... you were clearly also in the SADF 65536 years ago

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## DougP (2/2/21)

One nation, one love

Reactions: Winner 2 | Funny 4


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## RainstormZA (2/2/21)

When you say cigarette stompies instead of butts in the UK, you know you're a truly South African. 

Confused my cousin big time until I realised they called them butts.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## zadiac (2/2/21)

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> That's hillarious ... you were clearly also in the SADF 65536 years ago



Not me, but my brother was. Learned it from him. I went strait to SAPS from school.....sigh......it was a calling then.....don't know what to call it now...

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 3


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## Intuthu Kagesi (2/2/21)

zadiac said:


> Not me, but my brother was. Learned it from him. I went strait to SAPS from school.....sigh......it was a calling then.....don't know what to call it now...



You would have gotten pretty much the same initial treatment in SAPS as I did in the SADF, and it certainly gave us all a set of core values and skills that have benefitted me in the most unlikely of ways over the years.
I get your disappointment, certainly when I look at our current government / civil service, along with their shenanigans, and ... the fat lady hasn't sung yet , so ... kyk noord en f_k voord  ... Carve yourself a new space

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Winner 1


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## Jengz (2/2/21)

Hosh tokolosh!

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## Stranger (3/2/21)

I forgot about the

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 4


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## Dela Rey Steyn (3/2/21)

Intuthu Kagesi said:


> That's what we call a soutie



You forgot the P and L in that word....

Reactions: Funny 5


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## SmokeyJoe (3/2/21)

Skiet my n gwaai tjopper

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 1


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## Intuthu Kagesi (3/2/21)

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> You forgot the P and L in that word....



Does the P have the same meaning as "an Afrikaans box"? ... I cannot for the love of money work out the second part wither ... gonna put it down to "_old-timers_", and have to phone a friend, (_What's yer' phone no_?)

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Dela Rey Steyn (3/2/21)

Sout - P -ie - L

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 2


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## Stranger (3/2/21)

I just had some braaivleis, me and my chommie had a couple of tjops, problem is _jislaaik I think he basted with vape juice and now I got the Jippo guts_

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## blujeenz (3/2/21)

varkpan

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 3


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## Chickenstrip (3/2/21)

Haazit China.

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 2


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## Chickenstrip (3/2/21)

Hahdeedah

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 3


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## RainstormZA (4/2/21)

Calling my British housemate a poephoel

Reactions: Winner 3 | Funny 5


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## Stranger (4/2/21)

That's shocking Antie

Reactions: Funny 3


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## DarthBranMuffin (4/2/21)

7de Laan... omnibus...

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Safz_b (4/2/21)

If you dont listen then Oupa Doolie is gonna come catch you!!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Stranger (5/2/21)

Dela Rey Steyn said:


> Sout - P -ie - L



The direct translation for this refers to that famous 18th century pirate and sea captain .... Salty Richard. Well known for his adventures at sea and occasionally in the bush.

Reactions: Funny 5 | Informative 1


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## DarthBranMuffin (5/2/21)

Stranger said:


> The direct translation for this refers to that famous 18th century pirate and sea captain .... Salty Richard. Well known for his adventures at sea and occasionally in the bush.



And here I thought it was because the Souties have one foot in the UK and one foot in Africa and it's the "member" dangling in the salty ocean in between the two countries.... see, never to old to learn something new from @Stranger !

Reactions: Agree 3 | Funny 4


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## ARYANTO (5/2/21)



Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 1


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## ARYANTO (5/2/21)



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## ARYANTO (5/2/21)

Boer starter pack

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## ARYANTO (5/2/21)



Reactions: Like 3


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## ARYANTO (5/2/21)



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## Kuhlkatz (5/2/21)

Walkie Talkies and Smileys.
And no, it's for not for comms or what you do for your selfies.

https://theculturetrip.com/africa/s...r-tried-these-foods-that-south-africans-love/

Reactions: Like 3 | Winner 1


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## Chickenstrip (5/2/21)

Ag pleez deddy won't you take us to the drive in all six seven of us eight nine ten.

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 5


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## Stranger (5/2/21)

Not having to fly to see this.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1 | Winner 3


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## Chickenstrip (5/2/21)

Kuhlkatz said:


> Walkie Talkies and Smileys.
> And no, it's for not for comms or what you do for your selfies.
> 
> https://theculturetrip.com/africa/s...r-tried-these-foods-that-south-africans-love/



You brought back childhood trauma and wiped out 10 years of therapy.

Reactions: Funny 6


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## Chickenstrip (5/2/21)

I LUFF IT WHEN YOU TALK FOREIGN

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 5


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## Intuthu Kagesi (5/2/21)

Kuhlkatz said:


> Walkie Talkies and Smileys.
> And no, it's for not for comms or what you do for your selfies.
> 
> https://theculturetrip.com/africa/s...r-tried-these-foods-that-south-africans-love/



There are a few there that I'll give a miss to thanks ... Smileys for example

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Chickenstrip (5/2/21)

That one time BM put Merc in it's place XD

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## DarthBranMuffin (5/2/21)

Getting "klapped" with a "plakkie"!!!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Intuthu Kagesi (5/2/21)

Chickenstrip said:


> That one time BM put Merc in it's place XD




I remember that Merc -BM saga ... SA didn't / doesn't allow comparative marketing, nor any negative referencing of competitors ... and to use another SA saying; "Daar was groot k@k in die land oor daai"

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Intuthu Kagesi (5/2/21)

DarthBranMuffin said:


> Getting "klapped" with a "plakkie"!!!



n snotklap

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1


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## vicTor (6/2/21)

Sangoma

Reactions: Like 4 | Funny 2


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## vicTor (6/2/21)

...I smaak you stukend

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 2 | Funny 2


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## RainstormZA (6/2/21)

Pap n gravy

Reactions: Like 2 | Winner 4


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## Safz_b (9/2/21)



Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1 | Funny 4


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## Intuthu Kagesi (9/2/21)

Safz_b said:


> View attachment 221945



Jus' you wait until one of them '_birds from hell_' dive bombs your car ... It's a blimming miracle unto itself as to where they store that toxic "_payload_" that can cover a large proportion of you car with single "_bombing run_"

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## Hooked (9/2/21)

RainstormZA said:


> Pap n gravy



@RainstormZA Our local Spar now stocks these heat-and-eat mealie pap rolls. Have no idea what they're like!

Reactions: Like 2 | Informative 2


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## RainstormZA (9/2/21)

Hooked said:


> @RainstormZA Our local Spar now stocks these heat-and-eat mealie pap rolls. Have no idea what they're like!
> 
> View attachment 221976


Nothing beats freshly made at an afrikaans braai - it's always the pap and tomato / onion gravy that's the best stuff of the braai part.

Reactions: Agree 3


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## RainstormZA (9/2/21)

In the UK, they got saffa shops everywhere and I know of one that is near me but travels to different locations to sell the SA food stuff and drinks. You would not believe the price of biltong here - it's £11.25 for 240g biltong, £8 for 250g droewors. The Sparletta drink range is £5 ish for 2L where you can buy coke (2 for £3.50)

I'm hoping when it comes around later this week, I'll be getting some of my beloved Mrs Balls Original Chutney, Ouma's Buttermilk Rusks, some biltong, and Fritos Corn chips. Ah and Spray n Cook.

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 5


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## Hooked (9/2/21)

RainstormZA said:


> Nothing beats freshly made at an afrikaans braai - it's always the pap and tomato / onion gravy that's the best stuff of the braai part.



Have no idea what that's like either! I remember our domestic, who at that time was called our nanny, making pap and gravy for herself and I loved it. However, my Mom, in spite of being as English as they come, insisted that we have a bowl of mealiemeal porridge before going to school in winter and I hated it! Never had pap since then!

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 1


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## Hooked (9/2/21)

RainstormZA said:


> In the UK, they got saffa shops everywhere and I know of one that is near me but travels to different locations to sell the SA food stuff and drinks. You would not believe the price of biltong here - it's £11.25 for 240g biltong, £8 for 250g droewors. The Sparletta drink range is £5 ish for 2L where you can buy coke (2 for £3.50)
> 
> I'm hoping when it comes around later this week, I'll be getting some of my beloved Mrs Balls Original Chutney, Ouma's Buttermilk Rusks, some biltong, and Fritos Corn chips. Ah and Spray n Cook.



Ah yes, Mrs Balls Chutney. Imagine how excited I was when I lived in Oman and the main supermarket started stocking it!!

Reactions: Like 1 | Winner 2


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## RainstormZA (10/2/21)

Hooked said:


> Have no idea what that's like either! I remember our domestic, who at that time was called our nanny, making pap and gravy for herself and I loved it. However, my Mom, in spite of being as English as they come, insisted that we have a bowl of mealiemeal porridge before going to school in winter and I hated it! Never had pap since then!


I loved Mealiemeal porridge but hated jungle oats.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1


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## Intuthu Kagesi (10/2/21)

RainstormZA said:


> I loved Mealiemeal porridge but hated jungle oats.



Ditto ... and Maltabella

Reactions: Like 1


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## ARYANTO (10/2/21)

Hooked said:


> Have no idea what that's like either! I remember our domestic, who at that time was called our nanny, making pap and gravy for herself and I loved it. However, my Mom, in spite of being as English as they come, insisted that we have a bowl of mealiemeal porridge before going to school in winter and I hated it! Never had pap since then!


Tragedy !

Reactions: Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## ARYANTO (10/2/21)

Ever had a ride on one of these ?

Reactions: Winner 4 | Can relate 1


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## Stranger (10/2/21)

Ya Boet, but the cream soda from SA is green nogal.

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Intuthu Kagesi (10/2/21)

Stranger said:


> Ya Boet, but the cream soda from SA is green nogal.



I wonder if that had anything to do with Winnie Mandella' speech in the 90's, where she said something along the lines of; I'm sick and tired of all this black and white nonsense ... from now on we are all green , and then she put out her stompie

Reactions: Funny 1


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## RainstormZA (10/2/21)

Stranger said:


> Ya Boet, but the cream soda from SA is green nogal.


Ah that stuff is awesome, sadly in the UK if you want to buy the authentic one, it's £5ish for 2L (including the rest of the Sparletta range)

Reactions: Like 1


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## ARYANTO (10/2/21)



Reactions: Winner 3


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## Stranger (10/2/21)

After action satisfaction

WTF, ... how? you closed the beaches and took away the fags and booze, the chicks are not interested in my Ford Figo.

You bastards.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## DarthBranMuffin (10/2/21)

Boet.... you need a Bantam....

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Stranger (10/2/21)

Does it have a sun roof, ...... you know, for more leg room ?

Reactions: Winner 1 | Funny 3


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## DarthBranMuffin (10/2/21)

Stranger said:


> Does it have a sun roof, ...... you know, for more leg room ?



No, but you can gooi 'n matras on the back of the bakkie....

Reactions: Funny 4


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## RainstormZA (10/2/21)

Just bought my stuff from the SA Van in the UK - thanks Steve for coming around.

I got biltong but it’s not into the picture as I’ve had to hide it from myself and housemate as we both really like it lol

Reactions: Winner 7


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