# Co sleeping vs sleep training



## Friep (28/3/18)

Found a topic as controversial as vaping.

Me and my wife have been sleep deprived for a little bit more than a year now, of we went to the pediatrician. Our little one wakes Up 10 times a night on a good night so something must be up.

Pediatrician say's everything is ok he is as healthy as healthy can be. She suggested we do sleep training.

From some articles I have read sleep training involves leaving your little one to cry it out till he or she can self sooth. This sounds terrible to me because then we go from some sleep to no sleep. The funny thing comes in Google is filled with articles for and against co sleeping and same on sleep training. Reminds me alot of when I started to research vaping.

Seems like these days everything is subjective with a pro group and a con group.

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## BioHAZarD (28/3/18)

Friep said:


> Found a topic as controversial as vaping.
> 
> Me and my wife have been sleep deprived for a little bit more than a year now, of we went to the pediatrician. Our little one wakes Up 10 times a night on a good night so something must be up.
> 
> ...


Sleep training works if little one is old enough but there are limits. Limit leaving little to no more than 10 minutes. It can be very difficult on mom and dad but it does work. 6 months is the earliest you should try it. I remember the wife and I sat looking at the monitor watching little one cry wondering if we did the right thing. So far no damage and he slept through from 6 months no problem. I must stress that all children are different and sleep training should be adjusted as necessary.

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## RenaldoRheeder (28/3/18)

BioHAZarD said:


> Sleep training works if little one is old enough but there are limits. Limit leaving little to no more than 10 minutes. It can be very difficult on mom and dad but it does work. 6 months is the earliest you should try it. I remember the wife and I sat looking at the monitor watching little one cry wondering if we did the right thing. So far no damage and he slept through from 6 months no problem. I must stress that all children are different and sleep training should be adjusted as necessary.




I must say, I'm a softy when it gets to these issues. I could never get it over my hart to let them cry


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## BioHAZarD (28/3/18)

RenaldoRheeder said:


> I must say, I'm a softy when it gets to these issues. I could never get it over my hart to let them cry
> 
> 
> Sent by iDad's iPhone


Yeah dude it's really tough

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## Friep (28/3/18)

My biggest problem aswell too much of a softy to let him cry. But our sanity is at stake but read a article about both options so hopefully that will work.
https://blog.cradleapp.com/sleep-training-the-co-sleeper-3a390de65c81

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## BioHAZarD (29/3/18)

Friep said:


> My biggest problem aswell too much of a softy to let him cry. But our sanity is at stake but read a article about both options so hopefully that will work.
> https://blog.cradleapp.com/sleep-training-the-co-sleeper-3a390de65c81


The only problem with co sleeping is that once started you are stuck with it till little ones are abt 4 or 5  big decision 
Good luck buddy.

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## Friep (29/3/18)

BioHAZarD said:


> The only problem with co sleeping is that once started you are stuck with it till little ones are abt 4 or 5  big decision
> Good luck buddy.


Hehe thanks man really appreciate it one thing I didn't consider but still to soft think my discipline is going to suck aswell he has me wrapped around his finger already. But will deal with that when the time comes man parenthood is difficult like flying a plane without having a driver's license not eaven pilot's license

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## Steyn777 (29/3/18)

Friep said:


> Found a topic as controversial as vaping.
> 
> Me and my wife have been sleep deprived for a little bit more than a year now, of we went to the pediatrician. Our little one wakes Up 10 times a night on a good night so something must be up.
> 
> ...


@Friep this is just my own personal experience 11 years ago. We had to bounce my son on the knee for hours every night, had a tough job with horrible hours. One night I take him from his mother's lap and put him in his cot...10min later, sound asleep. And from that night going forward when sleep time came that's what we did. Some nights he'd still moan for a while but that didn't last long.

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## jm10 (29/3/18)

My son has slept between us from day one, for the first six months is was the norm of every hour up but now that his over one, he sleeps through the night mostly. We found is easy to get up, feed, rock , sooth or whatever when we dont have to actually get out of bed.

I couldn’t care less when other people tell me how bad baby sleeping in the bed is, we had snuggle time cushions so he was in a tiny fortress from small and if he stays in our bed till his ten i dont mind, my child is the only thing in life that matters to me. 

A strict routine set by my wife has really helped, he has a bed,bath and feeding time and he mostly sticks to it, so the sleeping came into habit for him. 


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## Steyn777 (29/3/18)

jm10 said:


> My son has slept between us from day one, for the first six months is was the norm of every hour up but now that his over one, he sleeps through the night mostly. We found is easy to get up, feed, rock , sooth or whatever when we dont have to actually get out of bed.
> 
> I couldn’t care less when other people tell me how bad baby sleeping in the bed is, we had snuggle time cushions so he was in a tiny fortress from small and if he stays in our bed till his ten i dont mind, my child is the only thing in life that matters to me.
> 
> ...


With my weight I could lie a medium sized Hippo to death...so would never take the chance

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## Cornelius (29/3/18)

What worked for us with both kids were to wean off the reason for waking up. Like milk gradually replaced with water and then baby realises that it is actually kak to wake up now.
But that being said it also depends how old baby is.

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## Jos (29/3/18)

Get yourself the book Sleep Sense. Lots of ideas in there.

Worked on our first born - slept through from about 4 months.

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## Stosta (29/3/18)

When it comes to babies everything seems to be a hotly-debated topic!

My personal take on all these things is you need to do what works for you. if the long nights are getting too much for you then maybe it is time you consider it. I can't let my son cry and leave him, it just breaks my heart, but in saying that he doesn't wake up ten times a night (yet). At a certain point you have to consider mom and dads sanity in terms of overall quality of life. No point in getting up everytime he cries if it's resulting in frayed tempers and such. 

My argument is, in a room-full of adults can you tell which ones were breast fed versus bottle-fed? Which ones had a walking ring and which ones didn't? Which ones co-slept and which ones went through sleep training? While the internet is full of information, it can be full of shit as well. No matter what paths you choose, their will be people who will say it's wrong. Trust your gut, not a bunch of keyboard warriors.

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## BioHAZarD (29/3/18)

Yeah all children are different and there is so much crap on the internet. Best bet is to listen to everything and decide what works best. There is no golden rule

Reactions: Agree 4


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## Hooked (29/3/18)

@Friep I've got no advice for you on kids, but I feel for you. It must be putting huge stress on the family. How about this, for your and your wife's sanity:

One night you take something to make you sleep, the next night it's your wife's turn and so on. At least that way each of you will be getting a good night's sleep every second night!

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## TheV (29/3/18)

As a non-parent, this sounds like the perfect solution to me:

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## Room Fogger (29/3/18)

Best advice I ever got was from my mother, she said to listen to everything and everyone's advice, and to then go home and do what you want to. Lived by this and some people may have disagreed with what we did, but I have two great sons! 

As for sleeping through the night, that will come if you leave him or her to cry a bit, and get them into a routine. Also make sure they are warm enough and never give cold or room temp milk as they cool down too fast, warm milk = good nights sleep.

That's my 2c , now when you get home, use it or don't use it, do what you feel is right and what you want to

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## Hakhan (29/3/18)

Friep said:


> Found a topic as controversial as vaping.
> 
> Me and my wife have been sleep deprived for a little bit more than a year now, of we went to the pediatrician. Our little one wakes Up 10 times a night on a good night so something must be up.
> 
> ...


Not all kids are the same but mine had silent reflux. one check would be to pick up your baby, if he/she finds comfort in an upright position. 
your baby does not enjoy nappy changes or change of clothes. 
self soothing or leaving the baby to vent ....not for me..too much of a softy.

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## craigb (29/3/18)

Hooked said:


> @Friep I've got no advice for you on kids, but I feel for you. It must be putting huge stress on the family. How about this, for your and your wife's sanity:
> 
> One night you take something to make you sleep, the next night it's your wife's turn and so on. At least that way each of you will be getting a good night's sleep every second night!



While it is a good sentiment - this might not be a good idea, specifically if the 'something' is medicinal. I used to take sleeping tablets when my daughter was little, and 1 night, about 6 years or so ago, there was a problem with a water pipe outside our unit. To this day, I have absolutely no memory of what happened because HRH could not get me awake. Luckily she knew where the water mains tap was and just shut it off for the evening. Then there was the evening I collapsed carrying the young-un to bed when she fell asleep on the couch (everyone was fine, she barely even woke up) Herbal and/or milder suggestions like soothing teas, etc - all good. 

@Friep As to the original post, does kiddo have the different cries, one being "oh no, I'm hungry/dirty and my teeny tiny world is collapsing", the other being "I'm bored, lets see how long it takes those weird giants to come running". The first has a more frantic sound to it, the latter - is more monotone.

Run to the first and (I know it's difficult) ignore the second. If in doubt, err on the side of caution and go jogging. When mini me was a baby, the insistent cry would quickly increase in pitch and volume while the 'bored' cry would remain fairly monotone, eventually decreasing in pitch, intensity and volume. Also keep a favourite toy or two in the cot (or where ever Friep Jnr is sleeping), then see if the cry tapers off and he starts playing instead. Obviously said toy should be safe, nothing he can choke on or otherwise get hurt by. We often would wake up in the morning to hear spawn of Craig happily gurgling away in her cot, keeping herself occupied.

Another great help is to con, I mean convince whatever granny, grandpa, aunty or uncle you trust with him to babysit for an evening every now and then.

Lastly, YOU know your child and family dynamic better than the rest of us, so if any of this advice (mine or someone else's) seems off or not applicable, it is not only your right to ignore it, but it is in fact your responsibility to do so (after careful consideration).

My way of raising my daughter seems to be quite different to how @jm10 has chosen to raise his son(in this regard at least). Does that mean one of us loves our child more/less than the other? Hell no! You need to figure out what works for your family and stick to it, regardless of what others say, always be on the lookout for new ways to do things, but don't just do stuff because aunty/granny/random metalhead on the internet says so.

Good luck, it does get better, I promise (I'm 15 years in and have a daughter with a smart mouth {have NO IDEA who she learnt that from} that is class captain of her Grade 9 class, something I never came close to achieving at her age)

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## RenaldoRheeder (29/3/18)

Guys - I can see your problem now: you are way too young. If you were older like me, your kids would be all grown up and this would be a non-issue. 


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## Friep (29/3/18)

Hooked said:


> @Friep I've got no advice for you on kids, but I feel for you. It must be putting huge stress on the family. How about this, for your and your wife's sanity:
> 
> One night you take something to make you sleep, the next night it's your wife's turn and so on. At least that way each of you will be getting a good night's sleep every second night!


 scary thing is apparently there is sedatives you can give to your little one but did not eaven consider that. Also coming from a time where i had to take something to sleep every night i am a bit against sedatives.
Wish i could take him but unfortunately I do not have the tools he needs at night still breastfeeding...

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## Friep (29/3/18)

Awesome replies guy's really appreciate it. Did not expect this big of a response just shows again how awesome this forum is thanks to everyone that took the time to reply read everything amd considering a few possibilities

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## Resistance (26/9/18)

@Friep.
Im a little late here ,but how is it going?

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## BioHAZarD (26/9/18)

Resistance said:


> @Friep.
> Im a little late here ,but how is it going?


yeah would also like to know.... we just went through the sleep training with the second one now as well.... worked like a charm. Even through the initial teething stage

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## Resistance (26/9/18)

If your baby wakes up at night screaming it could also be asthma.I gave that advice to a few people after they told me their story.turned out it was the same as mine but nobody checks babies for that unless there are visible or hereditary queries.
And it worked for them as well.not all asthma ,but most breathing related issues

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## Friep (26/9/18)

Resistance said:


> @Friep.
> Im a little late here ,but how is it going?





BioHAZarD said:


> yeah would also like to know.... we just went through the sleep training with the second one now as well.... worked like a charm. Even through the initial teething stage



Still doing the co sleeping thing atleast these days we have good nights and bad nights. Seems like it's going better. To

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## BioHAZarD (26/9/18)

Friep said:


> Still doing the co sleeping thing atleast these days we have good nights and bad nights. Seems like it's going better. To


Good to hear buddy

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## Resistance (26/9/18)

@Friep
On the bad nights wrap him tight in a blanky on his side.not too tight just enough to keep everything close to his body. It might also work.

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