# Essential, non-essential vape-gear - a humoristic take



## Viper_SA (15/4/15)

Essential, non-essential vape-gear - a humoristic take


So, you're a vaper now and have been off the stinkies for some time. In my case, just a hair over 4 weeks. Now is the time you start realising the small benefits of having been a smoker that you always took for granted. Much like being a vaper means you don't have to ever buy air freshener again, you get my point here?


Two nights ago Eishkom struck with another round of load shedding in my town, the first time in weeks. Instinctively my hand went for the little leather pouch on my left hip that housed my trusty old Zippo. Much like Wyatt Earp did in the movie Tombstone. Then it struck me, you're a vaper now.... To the song "You're in the army, now". Through the darkest night, this brought a grin to my face. Right, where did I put that damn Zippo when I quit smoking?! After bumping a few toes and a few curses that would make Pirates of the Caribbean sound like a kiddies cartoon, I found my Zippo. "gggg", "ggg" was all it said. Fluid had long since evaporated of course. Next drawer, finally found the Windmill. Much like Charlie Sheen now, I felt like a WINNER! By the faint light of a jet powered Windmill I found the lantern with the Citronella oil. (Actually smelled the Citronella for the first time as it burned this time, no wonder mosquitoes hate it) Then, there was light! Not a lot of it, but enough to find the small camping stove and kettle for brew. I saved the day. Bottom line, keep a lighter somewhere close, you still need it 


Now, if you're a vapress (female vaper) or in your 20's, you can skip this step. Remember those windy days on an over-filled Zippo or brand new BIC? Well, it performed a very important function, trimming your nasal hair dude! Now that you quit smoking and no longer scorch the stuff off, they seem to be growing like something straight out of The Junglebook! With boogers patrolling the "long grass of the steppes" reminiscent of a scene from The Ghost and theDarkness. (Guess who's a movie buff) Choices are limited though, electric or manual. If you're really feeling ballsy, you could go the waxing route, but who the f... would try THAT!


A notebook, yes, notebook. The kind with paper in it. Ripping out your cellular phone is sometimes just too much of a mission. Unless you're like me and use a Brakpan palm-pilot (writing on your hand)you probably used to make quick notes on your cigarette box. Guess what? Vapers don't have cigarette boxes!


Hope this helps new and experienced vapers alike

Reactions: Like 5 | Winner 2 | Funny 1


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## Andre (15/4/15)

Thanks for that, made my day!

Reactions: Like 1


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