Giggles

[ARYANTO]

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you’re the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?" She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I’m your son’s teacher."

 

[Adephi]

 

[Amir]

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[ARYANTO]

An 87-year-old man chats with his doctor: “So, I'm getting married again next week, doc!”

“Oh, that’s wonderful! And how old is the bride?”

“She’s 19.”

“That’s fantastic – but I have to warn you, too much action in the bed can be deadly!”

“Ah well, if she dies, I’ll just have to remarry.”

 

[Hooked]

 

[zadiac]

 

[ARYANTO]

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted to.
I was keeping the umbrella.

 

[GregF]

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[Hooked]

 

[GregF]

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[Amir]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[ARYANTO]

Know what the hardest part of riding a scooter is? Telling your parents you're gay.

 

[ARYANTO]

Dating a single mother is like continuing from somebody else's saved game.

 

[SmokeyJoe]

 

[ARYANTO]

The President of Coca Cola makes a call to Russian President Vladimir Putin:
- Vladimir, I have noticed that you have changed Russian anthem, do you have any plans to change the flag as well ?
return to the previous purely red flag?
If you would put our Coca-Cola trademark in a corner, we would solve all your problems with pensions, salaries of officials for couple years ahead...
Vladimir puts the call on hold and asks his colleague:
- Hey, when does our contract with Aqua Fresh ends?

 

[ARYANTO]

How does a Uno driver gets spare parts for his Fiat ?
Follows another Uno around, some parts will fall off eventually !!!

 

[ARYANTO]

Anything that is “grape” flavored tastes nothing like a grape. It tastes purple.

 

[Hooked]

 

[craigb]

@Stosta

 

[Raindance]

View attachment 136734
@Stosta

Yes, yes they are. Just secure the jawbones to the skull using zip-ties else they cause a terrible racket.

Regards

 

[Stosta]

View attachment 136734
@Stosta

Yes, yes they are. Just secure the jawbones to the skull using zip-ties else they cause a terrible racket.

Regards

Haha! You guys are totally metal!

According to a handy guide...

The merits of keeping the skull as a trophy are debatable for two principal reasons.
First, a human skull may call suspicious attention to the new owner.
Secondly, thorough cleaning is difficult due to the large brain mass, which is hard to remove without opening the skull.
The brain is not good to eat. Removing the tongue and eyes, skinning the head, and placing it outside in a wire cage may be effective.
The cage allows small scavengers such as ants and maggots to cleanse the flesh from the bones, while preventing it being carried off by larger scavengers, such as dogs and children.
After a sufficient period of time, you may retrieve the skull and boil it in a dilute bleach solution to sterilize it and wash away any remaining tissue.

 

[Christos]

such as dogs and children

Poor dogs....

 

[Andre]

View attachment 136734
@Stosta

Yes, yes they are. Just secure the jawbones to the skull using zip-ties else they cause a terrible racket.

Regards

Haha! You guys are totally metal!

According to a handy guide...

The merits of keeping the skull as a trophy are debatable for two principal reasons.
First, a human skull may call suspicious attention to the new owner.
Secondly, thorough cleaning is difficult due to the large brain mass, which is hard to remove without opening the skull.
The brain is not good to eat. Removing the tongue and eyes, skinning the head, and placing it outside in a wire cage may be effective.
The cage allows small scavengers such as ants and maggots to cleanse the flesh from the bones, while preventing it being carried off by larger scavengers, such as dogs and children.
After a sufficient period of time, you may retrieve the skull and boil it in a dilute bleach solution to sterilize it and wash away any remaining tissue.

Lol, now my day is off to a laughing start!

 

[Christos]

This one probably belongs on @Hooked's and so it was writ thread but it's a natural progression here....

 

[Caramia]

Haha! You guys are totally metal!

According to a handy guide...

The merits of keeping the skull as a trophy are debatable for two principal reasons.
First, a human skull may call suspicious attention to the new owner.
Secondly, thorough cleaning is difficult due to the large brain mass, which is hard to remove without opening the skull.
The brain is not good to eat. Removing the tongue and eyes, skinning the head, and placing it outside in a wire cage may be effective.
The cage allows small scavengers such as ants and maggots to cleanse the flesh from the bones, while preventing it being carried off by larger scavengers, such as dogs and children.
After a sufficient period of time, you may retrieve the skull and boil it in a dilute bleach solution to sterilize it and wash away any remaining tissue.

I worked in The Natural History Museum, and this is basically how it is done, only the meaty bones and skulls are put in a sandbox - all critters could still get to it. And yes, one gets used to the smell