#ITSOKAYTOTALK - Mental Illness

"He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster.And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee."
 
Watching the original Friday the 13th movies and really wishing someone was here to laugh at them with me. Actually asked out a girl at the liqueur store today, she had already started writing her number down, then she asked how old I am. Well, I can't lie, so I said 40. She's 19, and stopped writing. Said she'll think about it and maybe give me her number next time I come in. Still a win for me though, I got 12 cold beers and proved I could do it to myself. Like a buddy of mine always says, "as jy nie traai sal jy nie naai nie" :D
Excuse my French. Other than that, I have a motherfucker of a panic attack looming since around d 18:00 and it just won't pass. Going back to the psychiatrist next week and maybe get a referral from her for a good shrink. If I have money for hookers I suppose I have money to spend on my mental health too. :D

So.... Went past the liqueur store again today and guess what? She pretended not to even recognise me :D
Anyway, who needs it, right? Her loss, not mine.
 
And then someone who's supposed to love me goes and tells me I'm convincing myself that I'm crazy! Just because the pollop I'm my colon started to bleed again and I jokingly asked why 8 can't just have thing wrong with me, isn't my suffering with my crazy head enough amusement for God. Sure I'm bitter and pissed off today a bit, but ****, to reply via WhatsApp that I'm convincing myself I'm crazy is like telling me "it's all in your head, walk it off". Like what the ****, oh, you have a brain tumor, walk it off. And then you get the "I'd rather not even mention the alcohol with the pills because I don't want to irritate you more" guilt trip. **** this shit man. I'm done. No more ******* trying to explain to people how I feel. It's my own fault for believing something is wrong. I just ******* hope they remember those words when they find my cold ******* dead body one day.
 
Tranquillisers, anti-psychotics, lithium and shit load of Corona does help. All I need now is a line or two.
 
Can anyone perhaps tell me what happens the first time you go see a psychiatrist?
What exactly makes them different from a psychologist in regards with diagnosis and prognosis etc?
 
Can anyone perhaps tell me what happens the first time you go see a psychiatrist?
What exactly makes them different from a psychologist in regards with diagnosis and prognosis etc?

They can prescribe pills that help **** all
 
Can anyone perhaps tell me what happens the first time you go see a psychiatrist?
What exactly makes them different from a psychologist in regards with diagnosis and prognosis etc?

A psychiatrist is medically trained and can diagnose you with a mental disorder, psychologists are there to provide on going therapy which may take a different approach from tehrapist to therapist depending on the school of thought in which they are trained, each one has its benefits. Psychologists cannot really determine what disorder you have as such but can make educated assumptions and refer you to a psychiatrist if you have not already been to one, psychiatrist being a doctor can prescribe medication in conjunction with their diagnoses. Some psychiatrists offer basic counseling but most of the time it's best to treat a disorder with both so that you take full advantage of a proper counseling session. Some people do not have an ongoing disorder and need therapy sessions to simply help deal with some smaller ongoing issues in their lives.

@Viper_SA You are mixing your medication with drugs and alcohol two extremely discouraged practices (with good reason), I honestly suggest that when you do eventually visit a psychiatrist you ask to be booked in as in-patient. From the behavior described in your posts I think you would benefit greatly from some observation in an environment that can regulate your behavior for a time so that you can fully get in a position for recovery.
 
@Viper_SA You are mixing your medication with drugs and alcohol two extremely discouraged practices (with good reason), I honestly suggest that when you do eventually visit a psychiatrist you ask to be booked in as in-patient. From the behavior described in your posts I think you would benefit greatly from some observation in an environment that can regulate your behavior for a time so that you can fully get in a position for recovery.

I'm coping the only way I know how at the moment. In-patient is not an option, I'll be jobless when I get back. I almost got passed over for promotion for being unstable and attempting to commit suicide 6 years ago. Too many people are watching me at work. So I have to always be alert end pretend everything is fine. Excuse me for venting here where I thought there was no judgement.
 
And as a certain person said last night, "you're convincing yourself your crazy". Sure, it's all just in my head and I'll just think myself happy and healthy. Ill just buy a bigger bottle and bottle it all up inside and show no one the real me. The Who - Behind blue eyes comes to mind. Cheers.
 
Take a deep breath, @Viper_SA
Felix wasn't judging you. He was making a suggestion. Probably because he is worried about you, as am I.
 
@Viper_SA I am sorry that I have upset you, but it's a well-known fact that both alcohol and drugs exacerbate mental disorders as well as impair the positive effects of medication (especially medication that is psychoactive). I've seen the effects of self-medicating with substance abuse first hand in a friend and some family members who have disorders - which is why I post in this thread, because I've seen the frustration of feeling isolated and adrift.

Anyone who has posted in this thread knows that these issues people face are in fact not "all-in-your-head", you are however making your situation worse, and all I meant is that in my opinion you are in need of a stable environment in which you can be given care and help to get back on the right track. I would look in what the labour laws allow for mental health because several of my friends have been given leave for in-patient care without hassle due to being upfront and honest about their situations, maybe by chance some one here knows the exact regulations?

In any event, as I said before you don't come across as a "bad guy" and obviously are a passionate person so I hope you manage to find some help.
 
@Viper_SA I am sorry that I have upset you, but it's a well-known fact that both alcohol and drugs exacerbate mental disorders as well as impair the positive effects of medication (especially medication that is psychoactive). I've seen the effects of self-medicating with substance abuse first hand in a friend and some family members who have disorders - which is why I post in this thread, because I've seen the frustration of feeling isolated and adrift.

Anyone who has posted in this thread knows that these issues people face are in fact not "all-in-your-head", you are however making your situation worse, and all I meant is that in my opinion you are in need of a stable environment in which you can be given care and help to get back on the right track. I would look in what the labour laws allow for mental health because several of my friends have been given leave for in-patient care without hassle due to being upfront and honest about their situations, maybe by chance some one here knows the exact regulations?

In any event, as I said before you don't come across as a "bad guy" and obviously are a passionate person so I hope you manage to find some help.

How exactly am I making my situation worse?
 
@Viper_SA I am not sure if your medical aid works them same - I am on Discovery - but we applied for sessions with the psychologist for our daughter as we had exhausted our savings, and they approved 8 visits for the year, which they will pay for. It may be worth looking into?
 
@Viper_SA I am not sure if your medical aid works them same - I am on Discovery - but we applied for sessions with the psychologist for our daughter as we had exhausted our savings, and they approved 8 visits for the year, which they will pay for. It may be worth looking into?

Phoned them today, and if the psychologist writes a motivation they may pay from PMB benefits if approved.
 
Part of healing or should I rather say gaining control is to recognise those behaviours that keep the cycle going. One does not always want to admit or recognise them but at some point they need to be dealt with.

My own issues start as being hyper critcal and having a synical perspective on just about everything. This rolls over into becomming withdrawn and the two then evolve into what i can only call severe negativity. Before I know it I'm in that hole. It was hard at first to admit to myself that at times I behave like and @hole but I had to accept the truth before I could remedy the situation.

I spend the first 30 minutes of each day in honest reflection of myself and my behaviour both past and future. My friends know i appreciate it when they tell me I'm behaving like an @hole again, because i may not want to hear it but sometimes i need to. By recognising my triggers, I have managed to stay clear of any majour episodes for more than a decade and a half now.

I do not know if one can ever call oneself cured from depression, but managing it and keeping it at bay can surely be achieved. For me the key is being honest with myself about myself based in reality and not what my ego wants me to believe.

It may not be the same for everyone but identifying and then avoiding the destructive behaviours that set the wheels rolling works for me. One may not be in charge of your emotions but you can decide how you are going to respond to them. Feel them. Recognise/admit to having them. Decide how, or if, to respond to them. Do not just react.

Ok, speech over. I'm being way to open about myself here.

Regards
 
I wish had less intense emotions. It's always all or nothing. And I expect other to share the depth of my emotions.
 
I wish had less intense emotions. It's always all or nothing. And I expect other to share the depth of my emotions.
I can relate to what you say. You mention many similar emotions to my own in prevous posts above. When in someones or agroups presence i sense their emotions and attitudes as well. I learned that poeple with this talent/curse are caled empaths. Others would just call us overly sensitive.

It is therefore all the more important to learn to deal with emotions in a way that one controls them and not the other way round.strangely enough, sometimes just admitting to myself that I feel sad or allone puts that feeling to rest. Its the weirdest thing ever...

Regards
 
Maybe life in its human form is evolving towards a spiritual form and we are merely its troubled and confused adolescent stage.
 
Or I'm just an impatient ass hole who wants exactly what he wants, when he wants it and for it to be perfect.
 
I just hope my date doesn't cancel for this weekend. That would put me back in a big dark hole. Alternatively, it could turn out great and put me on top of the world for a while.
 
Exactly what I said above. If she tells me tonight or tomorrow she can't make it, I won't know how to deal with the disappointment. I am horrible with disappointments.
 
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