#ITSOKAYTOTALK - Mental Illness

BATMAN said:
Been off the forum for a while.

Got promoted at work, and though my boss never previously mind me advertising and just randomly putting vape gear as my what's app status, he actually called me in to say that I need to shift my focus to work.

This sucked particularly because they found on my browser that I would frequent the ecigsa page.

Since then I forced myself to spend too much time online-generally resorting to lurking in the shadows.

I've now overcome that obsticale though-I've gotten a pc without management being able to access my personal stuff :D
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Welcome back Batman :wink: I am glad to hear that things are looking up for you!
 
I'm just in a very dark, lonely and desperate place right now. I think I'm going to go back to the stinkies full time for a bit and will probably be off the forum for some time. Time to go back into my cave and rebuild and regroup it seems. I'm sorry for dropping everyone yet again, but I won't be attending vapecon either. I just don't have the energy for people right now. My life is a mess, and I messed it up. Hope everyone in this thread is doing better than I am at the moment and for the weeks to come. If I never log in again, you'll know the darkness won and I finally gave in to it.
 
Viper_SA said:
I'm just in a very dark, lonely and desperate place right now. I think I'm going to go back to the stinkies full time for a bit and will probably be off the forum for some time. Time to go back into my cave and rebuild and regroup it seems. I'm sorry for dropping everyone yet again, but I won't be attending vapecon either. I just don't have the energy for people right now. My life is a mess, and I messed it up. Hope everyone in this thread is doing better than I am at the moment and for the weeks to come. If I never log in again, you'll know the darkness won and I finally gave in to it.
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I recieved this via email today, if you want to know from where, send me a PM. The author puts the point across quite well, everyone suffers at some time, to think that no one does is misguided...

No-one wants to suffer.

However, at times, we cannot escape it.

Pushing yourself beyond your physical limits in training. The death of a loved one. Unexpected failure. Crushing debt.

Although we cannot avoid it, we can suffer skillfully.

How?

  • By talking to others about what we are going through.
  • By practicing forgiveness, acceptance, and mindfulness.
  • By understanding how we psychologically process stress, anxiety and grief.
  • By hanging on to a better future.
  • By breathing through the pain and remembering that this too shall pass.
  • By choosing how we go through suffering.
  • By choosing to actually not suffer.

The human experience includes pain and suffering but is not made of it.

Suffer, with skill, and no longer than you have to.

Hang in there @Viper_SA!
 
Viper_SA said:
I'm just in a very dark, lonely and desperate place right now. I think I'm going to go back to the stinkies full time for a bit and will probably be off the forum for some time. Time to go back into my cave and rebuild and regroup it seems. I'm sorry for dropping everyone yet again, but I won't be attending vapecon either. I just don't have the energy for people right now. My life is a mess, and I messed it up. Hope everyone in this thread is doing better than I am at the moment and for the weeks to come. If I never log in again, you'll know the darkness won and I finally gave in to it.
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I was diagnosed borderline which is similar to bipolar.

It took me at least ten years to be where I am now. I'm almost 40. My best advice is to stop drinking alcohol - it makes things worse. I messed my life up too, you know and battle my demons with alcohol, depression, drugs, you name it.

I'm not proud of my past but I learnt my mistakes and moved forward with the lessons learnt.

Another advice is to keep busy, keep that mind from wandering to the darkness. Find an hobby that you love. Make peace with yourself and know your limits.

And the best advice I ever got was from a friend who suffers from depression. You can't rely on others to make you happy. You have to make yourself happy.

I also believe that group or individual therapy will help as I see my psychologist now and then. Its not cheap I know but every session helps a lot. With a psychologist, he makes you face your fears and weaknesses then helps you to work out how you will address them.

I stopped drinking for 2 years and can see how much happier I am without it. I don't need anyone, I'm happy being alone and for the first time in my life, it doesn't bother me at all.
 
Viper_SA said:
I'm just in a very dark, lonely and desperate place right now. I think I'm going to go back to the stinkies full time for a bit and will probably be off the forum for some time. Time to go back into my cave and rebuild and regroup it seems. I'm sorry for dropping everyone yet again, but I won't be attending vapecon either. I just don't have the energy for people right now. My life is a mess, and I messed it up. Hope everyone in this thread is doing better than I am at the moment and for the weeks to come. If I never log in again, you'll know the darkness won and I finally gave in to it.
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Mate - I wish I can say something that will make it better. Sending you much love and wishing you the courage that you need right now.


Sent by iDad's iPhone
 
Viper_SA said:
I'm just in a very dark, lonely and desperate place right now. I think I'm going to go back to the stinkies full time for a bit and will probably be off the forum for some time. Time to go back into my cave and rebuild and regroup it seems. I'm sorry for dropping everyone yet again, but I won't be attending vapecon either. I just don't have the energy for people right now. My life is a mess, and I messed it up. Hope everyone in this thread is doing better than I am at the moment and for the weeks to come. If I never log in again, you'll know the darkness won and I finally gave in to it.
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@Viper_SA , as per @RenaldoRheeder , I don’t think anything I say can or will make it better, but best wishes for the courage needed and know we will be thinking of you in this difficult time in your life.
 
I want to share this with you from a very dark time in my life. I carry it with me today still, because I need to remind myself often enough :

a163187bad1c95b6c68b273228b8aa02.jpg





Sent by iDad's iPhone
 
Feeling a touch better today. Still very emotional and my anxiety is through the roof. Currently staying with my mom again, feeling like a 41 year old loser, but just too damn scared to be alone right now. Waiting for the pharmacy to deliver my new meds the psychiatrist prescribed yesterday. Also busy searching for a psychologist I can see on a regular basis after hours, because work will have a fit if I saw one during work hours. Worst part is still being off sick after an operation to remove my nailbeds, so I'm stuck with my own thoughts with NO distractions. My trusty 19 year old amplifier gave out over the weekend, so I can't even do music or movies right now. Hope everyone is doing okay, and thanks for everyone's kind words. P. S. Gory pic of toes to follow, lol.

IMG_20180806_130047.jpg
 
Hi @Viper_SA

Don't call yourself a loser. Call yourself strong enough to know you needed help by staying with your mom is the best decision you've made. She is there when you need her.

Kudos on looking for a psychologist. Maybe group therapy would suit your schedule, they usually are formed and assembled in their spare time. Ask the psychologist to refer you to one as well.

It does help to talk to others in similar positions and you get to make new friends too.

Last of all, hope your toes make a speedy recovery...
 
The like is not for the gory pic of your toes @Viper_SA :) It is for you feeling a touch better, and tomorrow you will feel even better still.
 
No one helps you more during tough times like your family. For some reason I feel that staying away from your family is the cause of most problems in our lives. When I say family it's not only your wife and kids, it's parents and siblings too.
The only reason my mum and dad are not with me at the moment is because of "home affairs". My wife's parents stay with her brother who are very near to where we are right now. Anyone in trouble and the whole family comes to support. Be it money, moral support or whatever you can think of.
Why is it looked at as a weakness in developed countries/cultures I don't understand.
Funny part is when one person goes to the airport and there are at least 10 people to drop him off :p.
 
Viper_SA said:
Feeling a touch better today. Still very emotional and my anxiety is through the roof. Currently staying with my mom again, feeling like a 41 year old loser, but just too damn scared to be alone right now. Waiting for the pharmacy to deliver my new meds the psychiatrist prescribed yesterday. Also busy searching for a psychologist I can see on a regular basis after hours, because work will have a fit if I saw one during work hours. Worst part is still being off sick after an operation to remove my nailbeds, so I'm stuck with my own thoughts with NO distractions. My trusty 19 year old amplifier gave out over the weekend, so I can't even do music or movies right now. Hope everyone is doing okay, and thanks for everyone's kind words. P. S. Gory pic of toes to follow, lol.

View attachment 142155
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Great to hear you are feeling a bit better, and a great decision to stay with your mom, they know us too well and can be great for us emotionally. Wishes for you feeling better soon and hope the toes heal quick.
 
Viper_SA said:
Feeling a touch better today. Still very emotional and my anxiety is through the roof. Currently staying with my mom again, feeling like a 41 year old loser, but just too damn scared to be alone right now. Waiting for the pharmacy to deliver my new meds the psychiatrist prescribed yesterday. Also busy searching for a psychologist I can see on a regular basis after hours, because work will have a fit if I saw one during work hours. Worst part is still being off sick after an operation to remove my nailbeds, so I'm stuck with my own thoughts with NO distractions. My trusty 19 year old amplifier gave out over the weekend, so I can't even do music or movies right now. Hope everyone is doing okay, and thanks for everyone's kind words. P. S. Gory pic of toes to follow, lol.
Click to expand...

I am proud of you @Viper_SA :wink: Something that I have concentrated on the last few years, is recognizing when and how I react to situations, be they good, bad or indifferent. This has helped me in my battle to control my anger as well as my anxiety, not all the time obviously but it has given me a better chance to manage situations and get help that I need in time. It sounds like you are on a similar learning curve, asking for help when you recognise you need it and you should be commended for it!

Good luck with the toes :smiley:
 
Faiyaz Cheulkar said:
No one helps you more during tough times like your family. For some reason I feel that staying away from your family is the cause of most problems in our lives. When I say family it's not only your wife and kids, it's parents and siblings too.
The only reason my mum and dad are not with me at the moment is because of "home affairs". My wife's parents stay with her brother who are very near to where we are right now. Anyone in trouble and the whole family comes to support. Be it money, moral support or whatever you can think of.
Why is it looked at as a weakness in developed countries/cultures I don't understand.
Funny part is when one person goes to the airport and there are at least 10 people to drop him off :p.
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I cannot agree enough with this, family as well as friends are an integral part of anyone's overall health and well being.
 
"Thanks for ripping my heart out and putting through a bloody blender"
I guess I'm just not destined to have a ralationship ;(
 
Viper_SA said:
"Thanks for ripping my heart out and putting through a bloody blender"
I guess I'm just not destined to have a ralationship ;(
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Mate - I know exactly how that feels. Trust me however, it is not that you are NOT destined to have a relationship - we just didn't learn how to "work" on relationships. I am smack bang in the middle of it right now. Relationship failure is NEVER a single party's fault. You have to mourn, you also have to forgive before you can heal. Importantly - you have to forgive yourself.


Sent by iDad's iPhone
 
RenaldoRheeder said:
Mate - I know exactly how that feels. Trust me however, it is not that you are NOT destined to have a relationship - we just didn't learn how to "work" on relationships. I am smack bang in the middle of it right now. Relationship failure is NEVER a single party's fault. You have to mourn, you also have to forgive before you can heal. Importantly - you have to forgive yourself.


Sent by iDad's iPhone
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I hear you bud, but you can't work on anything when you're being ignored for 5 days. I drove all the way from Sasolburg to Jhb cbd to take her flowers at her work. Refused to open the access gate and all the colleagues told me she's not at work while I'm on the phone with her mom who swears she's at work. That is rejection at its worst. Sure, I was in Jhb for a psychiatrist appointment but in Fourways, still a moerse drive to cbd from there.
 
RenaldoRheeder said:
Mate - I know exactly how that feels. Trust me however, it is not that you are NOT destined to have a relationship - we just didn't learn how to "work" on relationships. I am smack bang in the middle of it right now. Relationship failure is NEVER a single party's fault. You have to mourn, you also have to forgive before you can heal. Importantly - you have to forgive yourself.


Sent by iDad's iPhone
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear Renaldo. Relationships are hard. I think the secret to success in a relationship with another is having a good relationship with oneself. Another bit of golden advice which I have no idea how to do myself.

Yeah, fear of getting hurt has made me steer clear of getting involved for a long time, yet, I know this is not healthy. Its not natural and brings on its own set of problems. I guess one has to roll the dice and take ones chances. I am starting to realize that living "safe" is not much of a life at all. It's true what they say, better to have loved and lost that never having loved at all.

I'll shut up now.

Regards
 
Viper_SA said:
I hear you bud, but you can't work on anything when you're being ignored for 5 days. I drove all the way from Sasolburg to Jhb cbd to take her flowers at her work. Refused to open the access gate and all the colleagues told me she's not at work while I'm on the phone with her mom who swears she's at work. That is rejection at its worst. Sure, I was in Jhb for a psychiatrist appointment but in Fourways, still a moerse drive to cbd from there.
Click to expand...

I have send you a PM

Hang in there


Sent by iDad's iPhone
 
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