Moral Dilemma

[Robert Howes]

As most vapers are ex-smokers we will all remember when we started smoking, personally I started at 13 and was a full time smoker by 14. I have a 16 year old son who was so anti smoking when I smoked but now he is taking up the habit himself. After all these years and so much education it is still cool to go against authority and light up a stinking cigarette

We have tried punishment, we have tried positive reinforcement we have tried all sorts to deter the habit but boys will be boys and at this age they know better than anyone.

Now the moral Dilemma. He is under 18 so it is illegal but do I invest in a vape kit and 0mg Nic juice for him. Logic would tell me that that is the better than him sneaking around smoking analogues. BUT! is it good parenting??? So many pros and so many cons.

What would you do in this situation?

 

[Rob Fisher]

There is no question. Buy him his own vape kit!

 

[Stevape;)]

IMO Rather the Evil you know than the Evil you dont. I would say get him a kit with the 0mg Juices but not a nice tasting juice. As long as it tastes a bit better than a stinky.

 

[rogue zombie]

I would agree on buying a vape kit.

As us parents know, kids will do what they going to do, sometimes whether we like it or not. Id rather they do the lesser harmful.

 

[PeterHarris]

i would buy him a vape kit. and then also if he still wants to smoke, i would give him a weekly allowance to buy his own.
why do i say such a thing?
1 - he will soon realize that smoking is expensive
2 - smoking is not fun when your parents know about it so he might just get over the whole cool thing.

 

[Harmlessguy]

I would say let him try vaping with your vape and see if he likes it. My parents tried to stop me from smoking when I was 16,but hey as you said at that age you know everything. It was only January this year when I realized that my fingers are yellow,teeth stained and clothes smelled horrible.

So buy him a vape kit, but not the most expensive one because we all know high school and parties can get hectic.

You are a good father by helping him.

 

[Stosta]

Wow that is a tricky one. I'm sorry to hear you got put in this spot. I did the same thing as a kid, and to this day I have no idea why my parents didn't just make my life miserable. They maintain that I was a little shit (excuse the language), and I would have gone off the rails had they pushed any harder.

At that age it was about being cool, so not sure if vaping is as cool as smoking to kids this age, and therefore would a 0mg vape otion eliminate this need?

In my opinion (no judgement or anything like that) I would stick to the traditional method of bringing all hell down on him if you catch him smoking. Should you give him a kit you're encouraging the behaviour (even though I understand you are in no way wanting to). Furthermore it would add fuel to the fires of anti-vaping activists, for them it would be a case-in-point.

 

[PeterHarris]

also i understand why most of you say 0nic - i would buy him 3mg nic - becuase he is at that stage where he sort of wants the REAL THING. so let him get his fix of nic.
i might even consider getting him 12mg - so that he can get a quick fix ... but thats just me

maybe i will be a bad parent....

 

[Ezekiel]

Arent you worried about being 'those parents'? I mean, if he gets caught with the vape - even if it is 0 mg - he will say that it is ok, his parents bought it for him. Then youll get a host of exasperated teachers and parents shouting bloody murder and how you could endorse smoking? (I know... but try explaining then that it is not. In their eyes they might see it as you buying your kid smokes or, for that manner, the weed!). The same thing will happen when he shows it to his friends - they will want one too, possibly, and might run to you or their own parents - which might just cause more issues.

I have absolutely no parenting experience, so cant really comment to a right choice of actions. But like all foolish people, will do so anyway... my apologies!

What about waiting it out - reprimand him when caught smoking, go on and on about the evils and dangers of smoking, and then when he turns 18, give him a kit and chat to him seriously about changing his habit - man to man. That way he can rebel all he wants, which he'll anyway do kit or no kit, but then when he is a bit older you can turn it into something a bit more constructive

Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk

 

[Neal]

Can relate here brother. As a smoker my son was brought up with my (bad) habit and started on the fags himself. He is now 25 and when I was around 6 months into my vape journey I bought him a Sub box Mini and he has been off the fags for more than a year. Your call regarding your son, but if he is going to smoke regardless of your advice, vaping has to the better option. Good luck mate.

 

[Krohlm]

Consider giving him a budget and make it seem like it's his choice. You'll give him free vape juice which has nicotine in it (it doesn't but what he doesn't know...) that he can smoke in the house etc and give him 200 rand a month for stinkies.

A Box of stinkies is hovering around the 40 rand mark at the moment so it's enough for 5 boxes. Which we all know is totally insufficient.

Try make it his choice.. This will mean he will vape more and smoke less.

Forcing him to be a social smoker and use vaping the rest of the time will just make it simpler to change to vaping full time.

Be sure to ask sir vape or one of the more understanding vendors if they can just swap the labels to help the nicotine illusion.

 

[Andre]

I totally agree with what the others said above. There is just no way you will be able to stop him from smoking. We all know that, we were there. And if he is already addicted, I agree with @PeterHarris above - get him a nic fix as well. Nicotine is in the same class as caffeine - that has now been established without any doubt.
Get him the whole shebang - rebuildable toppers, wire, wick, etc - make it a hobby to keep him busy. At that age I am sure he will want to blow clouds galore.

 

[rogue zombie]

Arent you worried about being 'those parents'? I mean, if he gets caught with the vape - even if it is 0 mg - he will say that it is ok, his parents bought it for him.

Yes... but parenting as you may discover, is like trying to navigate a truck through a mine-field with no brakes, and blindfolded

Look I give others rational advice, but if I catch my now 8 year-old girl, I am going to flip monumentally. I think they'll hear me shouting for a week from Cape Town!

But I also know, when I was a teenage boy - being the way I was - my parents didn't have a chance of stopping me from doing what I was going to do.

 

[shaunnadan]

hmmmm... this is a difficult one

so my mum caught me smoking when i was in school, lost her mind! brought down all manners of hell and i still walk with a bit of a limp, lol my mum is a school teacher so she knows all of the tricks that i was getting up to. i vowed that from that day "i would never get caught!"

a big part of any community will SHOUT to get him off stinkies. we all have been down that road and know the coolness factor goes away and then the serious problems follow.

to get him a vape is your decision as a parent and i agree with the idea that its better than him hiding and smoking. 0mg juices will help to prevent a any nic dependency. i think at his age its a bit difficult in him wanting to show off his new shiny gear to friends and that can cause some serious problems for you with other parents, teachers, etc. telling him its for only home use will be as useful as telling a kid to keep his cellphone at home and not to take it to school (i carried a brick phone in primary school)

i think you need to have a real heart to heart with him.

 

[Salamander]

I would also get him a vape kit. As far as the legal side goes, smoking is also illegal for under 18s so for me there is no issue there. I believe that it would be irresponsible not to offer him a healthier alternative. As we all know teenagers are going to do exactly what they like and there is nothing you can do short of keeping him locked up in his room 24/7.

 

[blujeenz]

As most vapers are ex-smokers we will all remember when we started smoking, personally I started at 13 and was a full time smoker by 14. I have a 16 year old son who was so anti smoking when I smoked but now he is taking up the habit himself. After all these years and so much education it is still cool to go against authority and light up a stinking cigarette

We have tried punishment, we have tried positive reinforcement we have tried all sorts to deter the habit but boys will be boys and at this age they know better than anyone.

Now the moral Dilemma. He is under 18 so it is illegal but do I invest in a vape kit and 0mg Nic juice for him. Logic would tell me that that is the better than him sneaking around smoking analogues. BUT! is it good parenting??? So many pros and so many cons.

What would you do in this situation?

I would go for 3mg nic, in a iJust 2 or Kanger subvod device, he'll get a head buzz off chaining a few vapes, but you wont fool him with a 0mg placebo. Inform him of the 0 and 6 or higher nic options.
You dont want him quiting vaping and reverting to cigs because vapeing wasnt all that dad said it was.
Might want to slip in the fact that Big Tobacco is behind all the negative press regards vaping, youngsters also love a good conspiracy.
Parenting is mostly about guiding your kids using love and wisdom for a better/healthier/safer life, using the stick, both figuratively and literally usually results in them resenting you in their later years.
Seems to me that you're on the right track as a parent, those under 18 laws were right for cigarettes, but vaping is a different kettle of fish altogether.

 

[stevie g]

Get him a vape kit and some 1.5mg juice. He was smoking anyway so why not just let him vape something a bit more satisfying. If you follow the latest scientific literature then you know that Nicotine is similar to coffee in effect, hardly the dependancy creating drug it is thought to be.

People smoke because they think it is a "Reward" pure and simple. Others say that nicotine withdrawal is a real thing which I disagree with. A smoker goes to sleep every night and does not have nicotine withdrawal symptons.

Years of Propaganda in the media have led people to falsely believe that smoking is a pleasure and that is the sensation people think they are chasing when they smoke.

My buddy has a 17 year old boy and just went through the same thing. He would rather the kid vapes than smokes so he got him the Ijust 2 and some 0mg juice. Told him to hide it from his mother though...

 

[Effjh]

I wish somebody gave me a vape kit 15 years ago. "Future healthy him" will thank you.

 

[wiesbang]

I spoke to someone about this a while ago. I was also very anti smoking when my folks smoked but also started at a young age and nothing they did made me stop.
I also thought having the kids on vape is much safer than smoking but because of all the negativity vaping has and is getting we don't want put even more light on it.
If I had kids i would much rather have them vape than smoke though

 

[mAlice]

Hi,

I think it would also help hearing the opinion of a "child"

I started smoking at 14, and I am now a month away from 22. Smoking for 7 years certainly doesn't bring all the negative side affects of a 10/20/30/x year smoker. But I have had enough of the constant wheezing, coughing, perpetual heartburn, excessive snoring and whatever else goes paired with smoking.

Growing up, my grandfather was a smoker. 40 a day Lexington plains. He was a truck driver, and I think part of the old generation where smoking was still endorsed to a level. This is probably the main reason my dad didn't become a full time smoker. My dad used to smoke casually when he was younger, but never around me. Me not know the horror of growing up in an environment where someone like a parent was smoking next to me constantly, I think I got the idea that: "yes its bad, but it cant be that bad...".

My dad only caught me once. He saw a pack of smokes in my cubby hole when he moved my car from the driveway to the lawn. He absolutely ******* lost it! He never caught me with a cig in my hand, and never said anything about the smell (I have no doubt that he smelled the smoke, I just think he didn't want to say anything). But I think there was a certain amount of excitement connected to the taboo. If my dad knew and accepted it, I don't think I would have even picked up the habit. But it was drilled into me from a young age that he does not take lightly on this matter specifically. I don't have the best relationship with my dad either, kind of distant. I would love to be close with my dad. But he is convinced that its his way, or his way. There will never be a highway. Me having the amount of respect I have for my dad, I won't want to go against his will. But unfortunately, the smoking was one thing that I could sneakily do. It felt empowering, and also focused me. I felt like a smoke helps me collect my thoughts. My most enjoyable cigarette were the ones that I had all by my lonesome. I also have ADD, I think that is one of the reasons why I enjoyed smoking on my own. Just taking a break, letting your mind reboot.

My advise, from a son that hopes his father never sees this. Please give your son/daughter the love they need. This isn't necessarily a cry for help, but too many rules and restrictions could drive them to do something that makes them feel in control. Even if it is a self-destructive doing. You need to have a chat with him, make sure throughout that he knows you love him, and that you would rather have him not smoke at all.

HAVING SAID THAT: I think the lesser of 2 evils would have been my approach - get him the kit and some juice. Although I am not a parent (not that I know of ), and you shouldn't make a decision based on what you read in my post .

 

[Vapington]

That is a tough one! At the end of the day wouldn't you rather him vape with you than sneak around smoking cigs? It could also give you guys a common hobby to enjoy together in future

 

[kimbo]

@Robert Howes if you decide to go the buy a mod road, treat it as a hobby you and your son can enjoy together. So many parent drift away from the kids. Strongs mate, i am glad i am not in your shoes

 

[Stevape;)]

I just have to say... this is what being part of this Forum/community/family is all about

 

[Phillip868]

Just my 2cents, If I knew 16 years ago what I know now, things would be much different. I started smoking in my early teens, and kind of only did it to fit in. Find out what his motivation is for starting smoking in a calm casual conversation and keep it that way, then decide what to do next.
My daughter is 8 and my boy 6, both of them are so intrigued by vaping gear and coil building, juice mixing and daddy blowing clouds into the rays of sunshine shining through the patio window, that they often help me and the ideas from their HUGE imaginations are sometimes funny. At that age they have a firm grasp of ohms law, (Will be helpfull in Highschool Physics) and % in a volume of liquid ( yip, Chemistry) as well as where rain comes from, ( okay, I might have told them that I vape to make clouds cause its dry here in the dessert).
BUT, explain to kids that it is not acceptable in public and that it would be cool with you if the two of you make it a hobby instead of doing it behind your back and that smokes taste k@k after a couple drags off a vape anyway.
What ever you decide try to make it appealing to quit smokes rather than scolding, fighting and losing your monkeys over it.
If he can go without smokes for a week on end, he is not addicted yet, get him 1.5 - 3mg juice, if HE loses his monkeys after a couple hours/days of not smoking, rather go a bit higher in Nic. Let him choose a device and juice, make it fun, maybe he quits after a month in which case there is always a classifieds section here to recover costs, maybe he decides to stay with it, 2 years untill he is 18 may sound like a long time, it isn't.
Both my kids regularly scold smokers and tell them to vape, you know the saying about "from the mouths of babes"..... It may also be a great bonding experience for the two of you.

On the other hand, if he is smoking in rebellion or to deliberately p*** you off, gets a tattoo of a cig, and blows smoke in your face, then lock him in his room for a week without smokes, food or water, the bugger will soon learn.

(Kidding on the last part,......or am I???)

 

[BigB]

I have a few Mom's and Dad's who have bought their kids a kit to get them away from cigarettes as well as their hubbly. 0mg juice too. Kids seemed happy, just so long as the juice made a BIG cloud. Loads of bragging and then they simply stopped, lost interest, no chemical addiction to fight.

So, in my opinion, I vote get the mod and the 0mg....