Some may have seen this juice online, perhaps at Fasttech, I bought this particular sample at Gearbest:
http://www.gearbest.com/e-liquid/pp_378470.html
It is currently going for $3.89 which is a relative low price for 30ml, especially as the Rand is ducking under 14 Dollars at the moment. (R13.37 vs $1 when I wrote this)
So, before you see this as a stocking filler, please continue readin.
Initial thoughts as I ordered: "Durian Vanilla Cream Milk Flavor" Sounds interesting. I've had most of the custards available in ZA so why not. (And it is one of those orders where you have 2 minutes to decide) A quick look at the ratings saw 8 people giving it 5 stars (out of 5). Ok done, ordered.
Thoughts as it arrived: Packaging is fine, nice bottle, liking the dripper tip, opened up, very much chemical taste but I thought let's expel some of the air, who knows how long it has been standing?
Tasting time(!): Got home, decided to use my flavour dripper - The Stumpy (very much a Derringer). Had a single coil in there which I just cleaned and re-wicked. 26g, and 26/32g Clapton in parallel, 3mm i/d, 7 wraps, comes to about 0.6 ohm.
Before I continue, I need to make a note. "Durian". Now I thought this might be a place, or a type of Vanilla. Who knows. Later more on this.
Deep puff. No no never MTL, I am brave! El Príncipe de la Niebla! But...
The smell of burning tires travels deep up my brain, it is the 18-wheeler crashing down the walls driving over my child dreams, over my favourite toys, and then reversing to spin over the box of pictures of Pamela Anderson under my bed. The tires, no no the whole truck: dipped in gasoline, and on fire.
Cannot let this pass my tongue again, surely it would mean death?
For a brief 1/10000000th of a second I think perhaps my mod broke, firing 2000w, creating a black hole and summoned a demon right into my mouth.
This stench of hell is followed by a pair of fish, bitten by a zombies, force-swimming their rotting bodies down my sinuses as I wheeze the stench out in panic, choking through my nose. But alas, they are stuck, and they fart a sickly sweet garlic right back, and I can see them saying in my mind's eye: "you like that you bad boy, don't you?"
As the choking subsides and I get used to the initial poison attack (used to, or did my pain, smell and taste receptors die? Burial is this Wednesday.) I re-group and take cover ("Sarge no Sarge I fell in water, I did not p1ss my pants Sarge!") though I think I might have pee'd a little bit...
The stench finally subsides to such an extent that my 2 other "second-hand" vapers can enter the kitchen. However I am met with their faces of disgust. "No Love, and Love-Child, I did not fart". No explaining could change the look on their faces as I see their love for me fading away.
Oxygen is flowing back into my brain, I need counselling. Google where the F are you?
I can finally see though my red, but teared-up eyes. I have to know. WTF is Durian!?!?
Ok... Soooooooo according to Wikipedia:
"Regarded by many people in southeast Asia as the "king of fruits",[6] the durian is distinctive for its large size, strong odour, and formidable thorn-covered husk. "
"Strong odour" my arse!
And:
"The edible flesh emits a distinctive odour that is strong and penetrating even when the husk is intact. Some people regard the durian as having a pleasantly sweet fragrance; others find the aroma overpowering and revolting. The smell evokes reactions from deep appreciation to intense disgust, and has been described variously as rotten onions, turpentine, and raw sewage. The persistence of its odour, which may linger for several days, has led to the fruit's banishment from certain hotels and public transportation in Southeast Asia."
"Rotten onions" - that was Satan's breathe after a heavy night out at Panarotti's!
"Raw sewage" - oh I though that was me crapping my pants, oh God the memories they return!
"Banishment"? - 110% in agreement. Lit on fire. Destroyed. Even go to the library and wipe the records there.
I washed the dripper - warm water and soap, I dry burned the coils (too lazy to redo parallel coils), washed it again in water. No this dripper needs to be dipped in petrol, set alight, dipped in battery acid, and licked by a rabid dog, there is no clearing this taste (or is it memory burned permanently into my brain?)
- check that from about 03m42s, it is the Surströmming Challenge, that is about exactly what happened to me.
I rates this juice as a minus 7 out of 5.
If you have the suspicion that I am making a joke, and that the above is in any form an over-reaction, perhaps exploded version of what this really tastes like... Then be my guess, if you are in CPT bring your own dripper. Hell no am I throwing one of my own dippers away again. And you may vape this juice all you want - in the street in the opposite wind direction. On the other side of town.
I am comfortable putting up this challenge - choose any of my tanks/RTAs. You can have it. If I can fill it with this juice and you finish the tank. (Challenge must be completed in at least 2 hours). And as a bonus prize you may have this awesome juice as well.
Final note - on the 8 people who rated this as a 5/5... Perhaps they like Durian? This is not exactly something like licorice, or menthol - where some kinda hate the smell but it won't kill you. Durian will kill you. In a nasty way. It puts the lotion on its skin. You do not vape it, it vapes you. After translating one review his Pro was "if you are brave or wannabe a hero try this or give it to your enemies ! really unforgettable taste and smell! is a blend of rotten staff with a delicious smell of garlic ,))" Is this a joke to them? I could have died!
