Government scientists discover black hole.
Main Road - Parys.
Following decades of research supported by substantial government funding, scientists from the Department of Public Works and Infrastructure in cooperation with the worlds most prominent Facebook bloggers have at last found physical proof black holes exist. Until this discovery, the black hole theory was only substantiated by mathematical theory and observation of the behaviour of mass in the vicinity of locations where it is believed such objects exist.
So far experimentation has proven that most of the theoretical characteristics thought to be linked to these phenomena are in fact correct. Most significant of these is the ability of these objects to slow down time as they are approached. This was proven by the fact that scientists that left the nearby headquarters in the morning to throw a pebble down the hole, in order to verify their heightened gravitational pull, only returned late afternoon. In some cases forcing them to claim overtime for the experiment conducted. An experiment which under normal circumstances should only take ten minutes.
In an official statement released on social media the department has announced that further experimentation is required and will be conducted once adequate funding is released by the authorities. It is said that a grant proposal for the release of the required additional 325 billion is currently receiving favourable consideration in parliament although no official confirmation could be obtained by the time of going to press.
M.T. Head - chief science correspondent - The Broken Mirror.
Stru! saw it on dumbbook!
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