Go to google and type in...” google wat se jy”
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Dirty Lol's Thread
- Thread starter Gizmo
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A farmer walked into a bar and saw the local tractor salesman sitting there, head hung low,
obviously upset, drowning his sorrows in his brannas and Coke.
"What's up, Koos?" asked the farmer.
"Gosh Bob, I'll tell you what ... if I don't sell a tractor soon, I'm gonna have to close my shop."
"Now Koos, things could be worse," said Bob.
"How do you figure?" asked Koos.
"Well, - you know my brown cow, Bettie? I went to milk her this morning and she just kept swishing her tail in my face. So I grabbed a piece of rope and tied it up to the roof. Then, the nasty cow went and kicked the bucket away! So I tied her leg to the wall. Then she kicked my stool right out from underneath me!
But I was out of rope. So I took my belt off and used it to tie her other leg to the other side of the stall. Well wouldn't you just know it
...my damn pants fell down.
And Koos,
if you can convince my wife that I was in there to MILK that cow, I'll buy a tractor from you ...
obviously upset, drowning his sorrows in his brannas and Coke.
"What's up, Koos?" asked the farmer.
"Gosh Bob, I'll tell you what ... if I don't sell a tractor soon, I'm gonna have to close my shop."
"Now Koos, things could be worse," said Bob.
"How do you figure?" asked Koos.
"Well, - you know my brown cow, Bettie? I went to milk her this morning and she just kept swishing her tail in my face. So I grabbed a piece of rope and tied it up to the roof. Then, the nasty cow went and kicked the bucket away! So I tied her leg to the wall. Then she kicked my stool right out from underneath me!
But I was out of rope. So I took my belt off and used it to tie her other leg to the other side of the stall. Well wouldn't you just know it
...my damn pants fell down.
And Koos,
if you can convince my wife that I was in there to MILK that cow, I'll buy a tractor from you ...
Mickey and Minnie have been having problems for some time now. After hearing of Barbie and Ken's breakup, they too decide to call it quits. Donald goes to Mickey to console him and says,
"She's been a problem since day one. I'm glad you finally saw that she's crazy."
Mickey looks at Donald and replies,
"No, I broke up with her because she's f**king Goofy."
"She's been a problem since day one. I'm glad you finally saw that she's crazy."
Mickey looks at Donald and replies,
"No, I broke up with her because she's f**king Goofy."
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him,
"I screwed your mom last night!"
Disturbed, the guy tries to ignore him. Again, he hears,
"Your mom was good in bed last night!"
Again, he tries to ignore it. The man is just about to speak again, but the guy stops him and says,
"Dad, go home, you're drunk!"
"I screwed your mom last night!"
Disturbed, the guy tries to ignore him. Again, he hears,
"Your mom was good in bed last night!"
Again, he tries to ignore it. The man is just about to speak again, but the guy stops him and says,
"Dad, go home, you're drunk!"
Johannes comes home, lekker getrek, late Friday afternoon.
Finds his wife, Gertuida, giving him the cold shoulder in the kitchen.
He walks over to the drawers and takes out a large butchers knife and places it on the table.
Proceeds to take out his manhood and places it on the table next to the knife and with a loud voice tells Gertruida...
"Gertruida! Vanaand word djy gestiek! choose your weapon!"
Regards
Finds his wife, Gertuida, giving him the cold shoulder in the kitchen.
He walks over to the drawers and takes out a large butchers knife and places it on the table.
Proceeds to take out his manhood and places it on the table next to the knife and with a loud voice tells Gertruida...
"Gertruida! Vanaand word djy gestiek! choose your weapon!"
Regards
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where babies come from, darling."
........long silence....
"In the stork?"
"Where babies come from, darling."
........long silence....
"In the stork?"
Two elephants sees a totally naked guy.
One elephant says to the other: “I really don’t know how he can feed himself with that thing!”
One elephant says to the other: “I really don’t know how he can feed himself with that thing!”
Thank you Sir - life is too rushed to sit and write long stories -
Thank you Sir - life is too rushed to sit and write long stories -
Agreed
And life can be too serious sometimes to not sit back and have a good laugh
Thanks for the continual jokes and giggles!
He needs to be given an award [USERGROUP=3]@Admins[/USERGROUP]
It is a great pleasure,
and love the community and feedback I get ... think I'm getting addicted to ECIGSSA...
I tried to re-marry my ex-wife.
-
But she figured out I was only after my money.
-
But she figured out I was only after my money.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"
I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
This is classic :
A man believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man.
This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found:
"Most honorable, sir.
You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house.
I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she.
He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he.
I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
A man believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man.
This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found:
"Most honorable, sir.
You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house.
I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she.
He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he.
I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
...A little dark humor...
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
What is it called when an Illegal Immigrant fights a Pedophile?
Alien vs Predator.
Monday morning on the way to work I bumped into the back of a car.
The driver got out...he was a dwarf.
He said, "I'm not happy"...
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
What is it called when an Illegal Immigrant fights a Pedophile?
Alien vs Predator.
Monday morning on the way to work I bumped into the back of a car.
The driver got out...he was a dwarf.
He said, "I'm not happy"...
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"
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Hahahahahaha classic
Hahaha love it
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A husband exclaims to his wife one morning, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!"
Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little vienna ?"
Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little vienna ?"
A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television.
The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!”
“Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”
The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!”
“Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”
What do marriage and a tornado have in common? In the beginning there's a lot of blowing and sucking,
and in the end someone loses a house.
and in the end someone loses a house.
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