Dirty Lol's Thread
- Thread starter Gizmo
- Start date
What does Heineken Lager and making love in a rowboat have in common?
Both are f..king close to water.
Regards
Both are f..king close to water.
Regards
Joe and Moe wanted to go out drinking, but they only had R2.00 between them.
Joe said, 'Hang on, I have an idea.' He went to the butcher shop next door and came out with one large sausage.
Moe said, 'Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all'. Joe replied, 'Don't worry just follow me'.
They went into a pub where Joe immediately ordered two double shots of Jack Daniels ..
Moe said, 'Now you have lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't any money to pay for this!'
Joe replied with a smile, 'Don't worry I have a plan. Cheers!' They downed their drinks.
Joe said 'Ok, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you get down
on your knees and put it in your mouth.'
Said and done, the barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, bar after bar, getting more and more drunk - all for free.
At the tenth bar, Moe said, ' Joe - I don't think I can do this anymore. My mouth is sore and my knees are killing me!'
Joe said, 'HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? I LOST THE SAUSAGE AT THE THIRD BAR!'
Joe said, 'Hang on, I have an idea.' He went to the butcher shop next door and came out with one large sausage.
Moe said, 'Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all'. Joe replied, 'Don't worry just follow me'.
They went into a pub where Joe immediately ordered two double shots of Jack Daniels ..
Moe said, 'Now you have lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't any money to pay for this!'
Joe replied with a smile, 'Don't worry I have a plan. Cheers!' They downed their drinks.
Joe said 'Ok, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you get down
on your knees and put it in your mouth.'
Said and done, the barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, bar after bar, getting more and more drunk - all for free.
At the tenth bar, Moe said, ' Joe - I don't think I can do this anymore. My mouth is sore and my knees are killing me!'
Joe said, 'HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? I LOST THE SAUSAGE AT THE THIRD BAR!'
Dad: Say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: Come on , say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: F*ck man , just say daddy!
Baby: F*ck , Mommy!
Mom: Honey, I’m home!
Baby: F*ck!
Mom: WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT ?
Baby: Daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: Come on , say daddy!
Baby: Mommy!
Dad: F*ck man , just say daddy!
Baby: F*ck , Mommy!
Mom: Honey, I’m home!
Baby: F*ck!
Mom: WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT ?
Baby: Daddy!
Election and Erection are spelled almost the same.
They mean the same thing too:
A **** rising to power...
They mean the same thing too:
A **** rising to power...
Aye, that be the truth.
I'm pretty sure one of this indents is a vgod mech mod.
The others @Stosta has more experience with and can possibly tell us brands etc
That middle one looks kinds thick... perhaps a Sicario Mech mod?I'm pretty sure one of this indents is a vgod mech mod.
The others @Stosta has more experience with and can possibly tell us brands etc
The middle one is definitely a rabbit variant but @Stosta knows best...That middle one looks kinds thick... perhaps a Sicario Mech mod?
A guy asked a Life Guard how he could get the attention of girls on the beach....
The Life Guard said "simple....put a potato in your Speedo, and they will look at you....."
2 days later the guy went back to the Life Guard and complained that everybody just laughed at him.
The Life Guard said
"You have to put the potato in FRONT of your Speedo, NOT in the back!"
The Life Guard said "simple....put a potato in your Speedo, and they will look at you....."
2 days later the guy went back to the Life Guard and complained that everybody just laughed at him.
The Life Guard said
"You have to put the potato in FRONT of your Speedo, NOT in the back!"
Dear Sir,
We have just received results from our lab: The red stuff around your penis is in fact lipstick and not cancer.
Sorry for the amputation.
Nurse Koekemoer.
We have just received results from our lab: The red stuff around your penis is in fact lipstick and not cancer.
Sorry for the amputation.
Nurse Koekemoer.
Q: Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?
A: You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.
A: You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.
While out one morning in the park, Andy Murray found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing no one around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?" she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust. "Tennis ball," came the breathless reply. "Oh," said the blonde sympathetically, "that must be painful.... I had tennis elbow once."
“How did you quit smoking?
I decided to smoke only after sex.”
I decided to smoke only after sex.”
Glad to see I'm not the only one like father christmas who "comes" once a year.
Got thrown out a Strip club last night for using monopoly money.
I don’t see why I should pay real money to see fake boobs.
I don’t see why I should pay real money to see fake boobs.
Just been arrested by the police after recently being given the part of
Romeo in my local theater. The script clearly said...
‘Enter Juliet from behind’.
Romeo in my local theater. The script clearly said...
‘Enter Juliet from behind’.
Q. What’s the biggest difference between men and women?
A. The phrase “I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film.” usually has a completely different meaning.
A. The phrase “I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film.” usually has a completely different meaning.
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