TARA is actually pretty decent, good enviroment, quite a bit of freedom and when I went for my interview the staff were really nice people. Less like a hospital more like a safe home to get to grips with what is going on inside. Good luck man.
#ITSOKAYTOTALK - Mental Illness
- Thread starter brotiform
- Start date
Don't worry bro... Today is your day... You will conquer it all... Best of luck to you bro
I don't know how, I don't know when and I don't know where but you will crawl out of this blanket of darkness and in to the light of a new life where you will be in a better place. It won't be easy, it won't be quick but it will be worth it and I will be there every step of the way to motivate you, to encourage you, to pick you up but also to give you crap if you need it. Keep moving, keep pushing, keep believing because you are worth it, you are loved, you are important, you matter!
Chin up, eyes forward, one foot in front of the other...
Hi guys,
I've been reading this thread a few times over since I discovered it on Sunday wondering whether I should post something or not. Eventually I thought that I've gone through most of my life trying to be self sufficient and suffering in silence, believing that my condition was my own burden to carry and that other people won't understand it unless they are a psychologist whom I'm paying for their time (nothing against them btw, I've had a brilliant one for 4 years now).
I've been suffering from bipolar II for most of my life, undiagnosed for about 12 years and now being treated for 4 years (highly medicated at the moment). I've had my fair share of suicidal thoughts and I still do on a frequent basis, have only had 2 close encounters though.
Basically what I'm trying to say is that reading about all of you on here and what you are going through has made me realise that I'm not alone, that in some way we all fight together. Yes we do fall sometimes, but we must always try to climb back out of the darkness. When times are good we tend to forget how bad the darkness is and feel as if we have failed when we fall again but we need to remind ourselves that we have crawled out before and we must keep doing so every single time.
When times are tough, having a friend or someone to talk to can make a big difference, even if just to make you feel a bit less alone. I can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely, perhaps that's why I'm so quiet at meetings such as Vapecon.
I live in the Paulshof area in Sandton, if any of you ever need a friend to talk to or just to have a vape with, please feel free to contact me. We can all do with some more friends in this world.
Good luck to everyone fighting their battles, never give up, there is always one more day. Remember, you are not alone.
I've been reading this thread a few times over since I discovered it on Sunday wondering whether I should post something or not. Eventually I thought that I've gone through most of my life trying to be self sufficient and suffering in silence, believing that my condition was my own burden to carry and that other people won't understand it unless they are a psychologist whom I'm paying for their time (nothing against them btw, I've had a brilliant one for 4 years now).
I've been suffering from bipolar II for most of my life, undiagnosed for about 12 years and now being treated for 4 years (highly medicated at the moment). I've had my fair share of suicidal thoughts and I still do on a frequent basis, have only had 2 close encounters though.
Basically what I'm trying to say is that reading about all of you on here and what you are going through has made me realise that I'm not alone, that in some way we all fight together. Yes we do fall sometimes, but we must always try to climb back out of the darkness. When times are good we tend to forget how bad the darkness is and feel as if we have failed when we fall again but we need to remind ourselves that we have crawled out before and we must keep doing so every single time.
When times are tough, having a friend or someone to talk to can make a big difference, even if just to make you feel a bit less alone. I can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely, perhaps that's why I'm so quiet at meetings such as Vapecon.
I live in the Paulshof area in Sandton, if any of you ever need a friend to talk to or just to have a vape with, please feel free to contact me. We can all do with some more friends in this world.
Good luck to everyone fighting their battles, never give up, there is always one more day. Remember, you are not alone.
Hope things are going better this week @Feliks Karp , hang in there. Please feel free to PM me if you ever need a chat when things are tough or even just to vent.
Thank you, that's very kind thing to do for someone. This week really hasn't improved much,but I did finally get running water back and so I'm trying my best to keep it in perspective. These are the days that I wish I could take medication, but most anti-depressents disagree with me, some even put me bordering on a psychotic break, mood stabilizers and anti-convulsents absolutely destroy my ability to speak properly, and lithium did nothing but give me tremors. They say I have an abnormal alpha brain pattern but it's not common enough to have a model with which to treat it. So it's either I try keep my shit together myself or let them throw medication at me untill something takes. But good people like yourself and the good friends I've made on this forum help with that.
Morning. Thanks to everyone for the support , very much appreciated , now that I am not suicidal I can explain my situation a little better :
1. Electro Therapy is used for patients who are not recovering fully on medication. It's purpose is to stimulate serotonin production and receptor activity.
2. I am going for an interview at TARA for their long term program as my doctors and I are not sure I will not be ready by next Friday.
3. I am going to have to sell my car , my half of the house my wife and I own and we are going to have to start writing up a divorce settlement.
This week has been very very taxing and I have tried to avoid any serious topics for a few days to try and keep my thoughts positive.
It is touching to see more and more members reaching out in this thread , sharing their stories and their illnesses.
It is inspiring and motivating for me that something as simple as a little hand gesture , could bring us together , to a safe place on this forum , where we can provide & receive support from each other. This here , is an online version of the group therapy I attend every day.
You don't have to participate , you can simply read if you like , but the sheer fact that you can identify or relate to others is sometimes exactly what you need. Sometimes you find hope in the strangest places , I know I did by seeing people who appear perfectly normal to be in the same difficult situation you are.
Mental illness is a disease , it is a chronic illness that we have for life , much like diabetes or asthma.
It can be genetic or trauma induced , but the simple fact is that you should not feel weak or ashamed of who you are, ever.
This is an illness that cannot be cured , BUT it can be treated and healed and we can live out lifes with a sense of normality if we are willing to change out mindsets and accept the help offered to us.
Mental illness does not define who we are entirely , it blurs our perspective that this disease only makes up for a very small part of our composition. Do not become your illness!
I am not a great advocate for mental illness currently , but I see recovery all around me on a daily basis. I relate to people who have very similar circumstances to me and it's important to know , no matter what , that you are NOT alone!
You are important , you matter and you are loved
1. Electro Therapy is used for patients who are not recovering fully on medication. It's purpose is to stimulate serotonin production and receptor activity.
2. I am going for an interview at TARA for their long term program as my doctors and I are not sure I will not be ready by next Friday.
3. I am going to have to sell my car , my half of the house my wife and I own and we are going to have to start writing up a divorce settlement.
This week has been very very taxing and I have tried to avoid any serious topics for a few days to try and keep my thoughts positive.
It is touching to see more and more members reaching out in this thread , sharing their stories and their illnesses.
It is inspiring and motivating for me that something as simple as a little hand gesture , could bring us together , to a safe place on this forum , where we can provide & receive support from each other. This here , is an online version of the group therapy I attend every day.
You don't have to participate , you can simply read if you like , but the sheer fact that you can identify or relate to others is sometimes exactly what you need. Sometimes you find hope in the strangest places , I know I did by seeing people who appear perfectly normal to be in the same difficult situation you are.
Mental illness is a disease , it is a chronic illness that we have for life , much like diabetes or asthma.
It can be genetic or trauma induced , but the simple fact is that you should not feel weak or ashamed of who you are, ever.
This is an illness that cannot be cured , BUT it can be treated and healed and we can live out lifes with a sense of normality if we are willing to change out mindsets and accept the help offered to us.
Mental illness does not define who we are entirely , it blurs our perspective that this disease only makes up for a very small part of our composition. Do not become your illness!
I am not a great advocate for mental illness currently , but I see recovery all around me on a daily basis. I relate to people who have very similar circumstances to me and it's important to know , no matter what , that you are NOT alone!
You are important , you matter and you are loved
Thanks for sharing JB1987, I appreciate each and every story and despite not always being able to relate I offer the same as I do to others. Feel free to PM if you would like to chat about anything.
@Feliks Karp, I will make the same offer, PM me if you need to chat or vent. I can't always help but I am here to listen.
Agree with Nic , I am a bit slack right now , but am always open and willing to help.
If you want to join our whatsapp support group , please send your forum name and real name to 0828503154
If you want to join our whatsapp support group , please send your forum name and real name to 0828503154
Morning. Thanks to everyone for the support , very much appreciated , now that I am not suicidal I can explain my situation a little better :
1. Electro Therapy is used for patients who are not recovering fully on medication. It's purpose is to stimulate serotonin production and receptor activity.
2. I am going for an interview at TARA for their long term program as my doctors and I are not sure I will not be ready by next Friday.
3. I am going to have to sell my car , my half of the house my wife and I own and we are going to have to start writing up a divorce settlement.
This week has been very very taxing and I have tried to avoid any serious topics for a few days to try and keep my thoughts positive.
It is touching to see more and more members reaching out in this thread , sharing their stories and their illnesses.
It is inspiring and motivating for me that something as simple as a little hand gesture , could bring us together , to a safe place on this forum , where we can provide & receive support from each other. This here , is an online version of the group therapy I attend every day.
You don't have to participate , you can simply read if you like , but the sheer fact that you can identify or relate to others is sometimes exactly what you need. Sometimes you find hope in the strangest places , I know I did by seeing people who appear perfectly normal to be in the same difficult situation you are.
Mental illness is a disease , it is a chronic illness that we have for life , much like diabetes or asthma.
It can be genetic or trauma induced , but the simple fact is that you should not feel weak or ashamed of who you are, ever.
This is an illness that cannot be cured , BUT it can be treated and healed and we can live out lifes with a sense of normality if we are willing to change out mindsets and accept the help offered to us.
Mental illness does not define who we are entirely , it blurs our perspective that this disease only makes up for a very small part of our composition. Do not become your illness!
I am not a great advocate for mental illness currently , but I see recovery all around me on a daily basis. I relate to people who have very similar circumstances to me and it's important to know , no matter what , that you are NOT alone!
You are important , you matter and you are loved
I read this this morning and thought of you...
"One day, I decided to let the light in. No one would ever choose to live in darkness. I started telling people who were close to me about my diagnosis. I then talked with extended family members, classmates and coworkers. A funny thing happened once I started to share my story. I found out I wasn’t as alone as I thought I was. I heard the phrase, 'Me too,' come out of many people’s mouth. I found out that I wasn’t the only one who struggled."
From here...
https://themighty.com/2016/09/what-happens-when-you-tell-people-youre-depressed/
This thread really helps to thin out my current gloom with all the kindness that has been shown through all the offers to help and the experiences shared. There are alot of good people on this forum.
Thought I'd post a poem I wrote back in 2001. It was written after 2 bottles of KWV 5 year old brandy, so excuse if it doesn't always rhyme. I wrote it with a cigarette in hand and a statue of the Grim Reaper I used to have next to me. This was a few months after my 1st fiance told me she was raped by an Indian guy at a club. A few months later, at a shrink appointment, she suddenly admitted it was a lie because I once told her how much respect I had for a stripper buddy of mine that was raped, and how brave she was. She made up the story because she was jealous ... still can't believe it as I type this really. Anyway, this was the first time in my life I actually contemplated ending it all, since then, there have been a few occasions I felt like that, and I tried about 4.5 years ago. Thankfully it was a failed attempt, because in my stupor I sent whatsapp messages to several people saying goodbye. My mom found me just after the pills kicked in and I sorta passed out with a knife in my hand. Could have been far worse hey. Maybe one day when I feel like typing an essay, I'll elaborate on some more things.
Just a question though, anyone in this "group" that to self-mutalation? Like cutting, and that sort of thing? Many years ago, before I was diagnosed I used to burn myself with cigarettes, beat my legs and chest till it was blue and purple, and sometimes even hit myself in the head. It was just easier to convert the pain and numbness into something physical. Just a quick blurp.
Anyway, here is my poem. Will post more when I find the hdd they are on.
Untitled
Hello Darkness my old friend,
I’ve come to talk with you again…
No one understands me – better than You.
You know me inside out
.
I don’t know what I’ll say,
I don’t know what I’ll hear,
I don’t know when You’ll come for me,
But tonight I wish it’d be soon!
One thing that I do know though,
Is that You’ll come for me eventually….!
And as my time draws near,
I sit and count the days with sweet anticipation.
I know I’ll not get the angel of death that Jesus sends,
I know I’ll get you…
I know that when you come,
I shall get the Reaper!
But I will not be afraid,
For we’ve been "friends" so long…
You’ve been my shadow all my life –
Always just a step behind.
I know you’ll come for me, scythe in hand
And beckon me to you, with bony finger stretched out straight.
Then I will walk with you to the valley of death,
And my blood will spill from your sacred bowl.
You will be my ferryman,
We’ll travel the River of Life-and-Death,
And when they finally split,
I know which fork we’ll take!
We’ll take the fork to the left,
Down the river of Death.
The souls of the dead will try to sink our boat
But they will not succeed –
- For you are still my ferryman,
The keeper of my soul.
I will go with my head held high,
On towards my final destination…
And as we near the gates of hell,
We’ll stop and wait a while…
We’ll smoke the day’s last cigarette
And talk of days gone by…
And as the time draws near,
The sand in my hourglass almost gone,
I will ask for just one thing :
"Let the final blow be swift!"
And You will grant me this last wish,
For I have been a faithful servant.
This is how I see the end,
I don’t know when it will come,
But I hope it shall be soon…
I don’t know if I’ll have the guts,
To go and look for You,
But this one thing, I know to be true,
I know You’ll come for me – eventually.
Just a question though, anyone in this "group" that to self-mutalation? Like cutting, and that sort of thing? Many years ago, before I was diagnosed I used to burn myself with cigarettes, beat my legs and chest till it was blue and purple, and sometimes even hit myself in the head. It was just easier to convert the pain and numbness into something physical. Just a quick blurp.
Anyway, here is my poem. Will post more when I find the hdd they are on.
Untitled
Hello Darkness my old friend,
I’ve come to talk with you again…
No one understands me – better than You.
You know me inside out
.
I don’t know what I’ll say,
I don’t know what I’ll hear,
I don’t know when You’ll come for me,
But tonight I wish it’d be soon!
One thing that I do know though,
Is that You’ll come for me eventually….!
And as my time draws near,
I sit and count the days with sweet anticipation.
I know I’ll not get the angel of death that Jesus sends,
I know I’ll get you…
I know that when you come,
I shall get the Reaper!
But I will not be afraid,
For we’ve been "friends" so long…
You’ve been my shadow all my life –
Always just a step behind.
I know you’ll come for me, scythe in hand
And beckon me to you, with bony finger stretched out straight.
Then I will walk with you to the valley of death,
And my blood will spill from your sacred bowl.
You will be my ferryman,
We’ll travel the River of Life-and-Death,
And when they finally split,
I know which fork we’ll take!
We’ll take the fork to the left,
Down the river of Death.
The souls of the dead will try to sink our boat
But they will not succeed –
- For you are still my ferryman,
The keeper of my soul.
I will go with my head held high,
On towards my final destination…
And as we near the gates of hell,
We’ll stop and wait a while…
We’ll smoke the day’s last cigarette
And talk of days gone by…
And as the time draws near,
The sand in my hourglass almost gone,
I will ask for just one thing :
"Let the final blow be swift!"
And You will grant me this last wish,
For I have been a faithful servant.
This is how I see the end,
I don’t know when it will come,
But I hope it shall be soon…
I don’t know if I’ll have the guts,
To go and look for You,
But this one thing, I know to be true,
I know You’ll come for me – eventually.
Hello my fellow vaping peeps...
Hats off too everyone for being so brave and standing up and fighting to gain your lives back.
I wish yous all the strength in the world and give yous all my love.
I am very intrigued about mental illnesses such as depression and bipolar.
My Aunt has suffered from Depression and i have seen what it looka like but cant imagine what it must feel like.
I would like everyone who is going or has gone through this darkness too please share your wisdom with me and explain to me how you got to the point yous have.
This is not a study or something.
The reason for my question is Ive gone through tough times in my younger years and hold things inside of me that are better kept there but will never be forgotten.
When i go through tough times my memory kicks in and all my emotions just start running wild.
About a year ago went through a bit of a rough patch on a daily basis for about a month at work, but pulled through.
But during this time my mind was telling me wtf are you doing in this world and i envisioned cutting myself from this world.
It did not go further than the envisions and since ive pulled through my mind has been cleared.
But i just wanna know is this how the darkness kreeps in on yous or am i just overthinking it.
Any how my prayers and thoughts are with all of yous.
God bless
Hats off too everyone for being so brave and standing up and fighting to gain your lives back.
I wish yous all the strength in the world and give yous all my love.
I am very intrigued about mental illnesses such as depression and bipolar.
My Aunt has suffered from Depression and i have seen what it looka like but cant imagine what it must feel like.
I would like everyone who is going or has gone through this darkness too please share your wisdom with me and explain to me how you got to the point yous have.
This is not a study or something.
The reason for my question is Ive gone through tough times in my younger years and hold things inside of me that are better kept there but will never be forgotten.
When i go through tough times my memory kicks in and all my emotions just start running wild.
About a year ago went through a bit of a rough patch on a daily basis for about a month at work, but pulled through.
But during this time my mind was telling me wtf are you doing in this world and i envisioned cutting myself from this world.
It did not go further than the envisions and since ive pulled through my mind has been cleared.
But i just wanna know is this how the darkness kreeps in on yous or am i just overthinking it.
Any how my prayers and thoughts are with all of yous.
God bless
️
@Clouds4Days
In a nutshell :
Depression is comprised of chronic lows that cannot be shaken , these can last a few hours or a few days. Your self worth is non existent and you feel empty and numb.
Bipolar comprises of manic highs and lows throughout the day. Imagine going through all 4 seasons in a few hours or single day. Effectively that is bi polar.
Both of these conditions are relatively easy to diagnose through a standardized MCMI test , which will indicate your characteristics , I'll share mine with this in case you havent seen it or are unsure what to expect. It is around 160 true and false questions and takes a few minutes to do. The results are then reviewed with the psychologist who referred you.
"Normal" people recover from daily lows or struggles more easily , however , if you find yourself battling to "shake it off" or anything as such then it's worth doing the assessment bud.
Look after yourself and feel free to whatsapp me should you want anything further
In a nutshell :
Depression is comprised of chronic lows that cannot be shaken , these can last a few hours or a few days. Your self worth is non existent and you feel empty and numb.
Bipolar comprises of manic highs and lows throughout the day. Imagine going through all 4 seasons in a few hours or single day. Effectively that is bi polar.
Both of these conditions are relatively easy to diagnose through a standardized MCMI test , which will indicate your characteristics , I'll share mine with this in case you havent seen it or are unsure what to expect. It is around 160 true and false questions and takes a few minutes to do. The results are then reviewed with the psychologist who referred you.
"Normal" people recover from daily lows or struggles more easily , however , if you find yourself battling to "shake it off" or anything as such then it's worth doing the assessment bud.
Look after yourself and feel free to whatsapp me should you want anything further
Last edited by a moderator:
@Clouds4Days
In a nutshell :
Depression is comprised of chronic lows that cannot be shaken , these can last a few hours or a few days. Your self worth is non existent and you feel empty and numb.
Bipolar comprises of manic highs and lows throughout the day. Imagine going through all 4 seasons in a few hours or single day. Effectively that is bi polar.
Both of these conditions are relatively easy to diagnose through a standardized MCMI test , which will indicate your characteristics , I'll share mine with this in case you havent seen it or are unsure what to expect. It is around 160 true and false questions and takes a few minutes to do. The results are then reviewed with the psychologist who referred you.
"Normal" people recover from daily lows or struggles more easily , however , if you find yourself battling to "shake it off" or anything as such then it's worth doing the assessment bud.
Look after yourself and feel free to whatsapp me should you want anything further
Thanks bud i apreciate it.
Ive been ok for a while now.
I found remedy through laughter and clowning around.
I try and make the people around me laugh and be happy and in turn seeing them smile makes me happy.
But if ever i feel its getting too much to handle i will take up your advise bud and go check myself out.
Hope everyone has a super dooper day...
Todays a new day and will be a better day than yesterday.
Stay positive and conquer all
Much love.
Last edited by a moderator:
Thanks for sharing @Clouds4Days, please feel free to PM me should you want to chat or vent or ask any questions, I am not a therapist or professional but am always willing to listen or give my opinion or advice.
Found my other poems. Not many people have seen these, so be gentle with the criticism
Rage_Part 1
Rage, rage against the dying of the light,
Rage against the coming of the night.
Rage against the darkness in your mind,
Rage against the coldness of your soul.
Rage, rage against the demon in your mind,
Rage against the demons of the past.
Rage against the darkness of yesteryear,
Rage against the chains that bind.
Fight, fight against the madness in your head,
Fight to keep your sanity.
Fight not to stay alive, but
Fight to save humanity.
Shield, shield against the cruelty of our world,
Shield your soul from evil’s cold,
Shield your eyes from anger’s glare.
Shield yourself my child – from the demon’s sword.
Help; help me save the day,
Help me while my steps falter and my eyes blur.
Help me while my muscles ache,
Help me while my sword arm bleeds.
Part 2
Everyday I fight the fight;
Fight against myself…
Everyday I try, try without success.
My sword’s grown blunt,
My armour’s perished,
And my heart’s grown weak…
I’m losing my will,
The will to succeed –
Against these overwhelming odds!
Part 3
Come to me now,
And help me fight this fight.
Let us win this fight,
Not for glory – but for love!
Bring me now your love,
Let it wrap around me like a cloak,
To heal my wounds and mend my armour.
Let your love keep me warm…
Bring me your warm smile,
To lift my spirits when I’m down,
To breathe new life
Into my tired form…
Give yourself to me now,
Let us join and be one.
Together we’ll be stronger –
To beat our inner demons…
I need you beside me,
To be my bride – my warrior princess!
Our love combined will sharpen my sword –
To deal the killing blow…!
Rage_Part 1
Rage, rage against the dying of the light,
Rage against the coming of the night.
Rage against the darkness in your mind,
Rage against the coldness of your soul.
Rage, rage against the demon in your mind,
Rage against the demons of the past.
Rage against the darkness of yesteryear,
Rage against the chains that bind.
Fight, fight against the madness in your head,
Fight to keep your sanity.
Fight not to stay alive, but
Fight to save humanity.
Shield, shield against the cruelty of our world,
Shield your soul from evil’s cold,
Shield your eyes from anger’s glare.
Shield yourself my child – from the demon’s sword.
Help; help me save the day,
Help me while my steps falter and my eyes blur.
Help me while my muscles ache,
Help me while my sword arm bleeds.
Part 2
Everyday I fight the fight;
Fight against myself…
Everyday I try, try without success.
My sword’s grown blunt,
My armour’s perished,
And my heart’s grown weak…
I’m losing my will,
The will to succeed –
Against these overwhelming odds!
Part 3
Come to me now,
And help me fight this fight.
Let us win this fight,
Not for glory – but for love!
Bring me now your love,
Let it wrap around me like a cloak,
To heal my wounds and mend my armour.
Let your love keep me warm…
Bring me your warm smile,
To lift my spirits when I’m down,
To breathe new life
Into my tired form…
Give yourself to me now,
Let us join and be one.
Together we’ll be stronger –
To beat our inner demons…
I need you beside me,
To be my bride – my warrior princess!
Our love combined will sharpen my sword –
To deal the killing blow…!
Heart's Destiny
Like a shooting star,
speeding through the night sky
Coming so close in the sky,
but never quite the brightest star.
Thus is the life of us mortals,
like a shooting star racing through space,
on it's way to the fabled meeting place...
To meet on a blind date in destiny's halls.
Lucky is the few, whose shooting stars
completes the journey before winking out...
The souls who always finds it cold out,
must be the ones with burnt-out stars...
Here is my message then :
To all those with the brightest stars
and, indeed, the spent-up stars,
I bid you farewell then...
I find myself staring down at my waning star,
looking on helpless, from the outside,
seeing life wash away in the tide.
Destiny's blind date has missed my star...
Now my cold heart I will lock up,
close the doors to the barren waste,
always craving the rain's taste.
Never losing hope, always looking up!
I shall cast out the door's key,
to prevent them from opening to the wrong ones,
and waiting for the right ones,
to find my hearts key...
My heart will stay locked-up thus,
with a guard posted at the gates,
to banish deceivers from the gates,
and keep what's left intact thus,
Until that special someone finds the key,
to become the master of past
and present
and opens my heart with the key.
Imagine my surprise when I'll see,
that it was not my heart's key,
and not a key at all
that made the blind man see!
The master of past and present,
will bring to my barren heart the rains,
erase all that was and take in her hands the reigns,
to steer me to the shining crescent!
Here is my message then :
To all the fading stars,
don't attempt to steer your stars...
all we need is love then...
Like a shooting star,
speeding through the night sky
Coming so close in the sky,
but never quite the brightest star.
Thus is the life of us mortals,
like a shooting star racing through space,
on it's way to the fabled meeting place...
To meet on a blind date in destiny's halls.
Lucky is the few, whose shooting stars
completes the journey before winking out...
The souls who always finds it cold out,
must be the ones with burnt-out stars...
Here is my message then :
To all those with the brightest stars
and, indeed, the spent-up stars,
I bid you farewell then...
I find myself staring down at my waning star,
looking on helpless, from the outside,
seeing life wash away in the tide.
Destiny's blind date has missed my star...
Now my cold heart I will lock up,
close the doors to the barren waste,
always craving the rain's taste.
Never losing hope, always looking up!
I shall cast out the door's key,
to prevent them from opening to the wrong ones,
and waiting for the right ones,
to find my hearts key...
My heart will stay locked-up thus,
with a guard posted at the gates,
to banish deceivers from the gates,
and keep what's left intact thus,
Until that special someone finds the key,
to become the master of past
and present
and opens my heart with the key.
Imagine my surprise when I'll see,
that it was not my heart's key,
and not a key at all
that made the blind man see!
The master of past and present,
will bring to my barren heart the rains,
erase all that was and take in her hands the reigns,
to steer me to the shining crescent!
Here is my message then :
To all the fading stars,
don't attempt to steer your stars...
all we need is love then...
Thank you so much Tinus , I have no criticism at all and found your words so relatable. I applaud you!!
Life can be tough, but my vaping hobby and engaging on this forum keeps me occupied and my mind off my problems. I learn something new, vaping related, every week.
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Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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