@RenaldoRheeder and @RainstormZA - Such powerful words, thanks for sharing.
#ITSOKAYTOTALK - Mental Illness
- Thread starter brotiform
- Start date
Check in time, it has been too long and I have been busy with a lot of things, how is everyone...
I'm in a losing battle with my mother. I swear she enjoys hurting me, putting me down when it suits her.
We're not talking because I told her exactly what I thought of her and how horrible she has been. So it's me and my dad just talking. I just figured out how much crap she has caused by me talking to him yesterday.
He wanted me to study and get my last two qualifications - not worry about getting work here because I would be doing that in the UK.
I can manage my money to a budget every month so I don't have to worry about getting extra income.
And this is my stepdad I'm talking about. I get much more support from him and pretty solid advice. My mom, on the other hand, is something else.
I just now got to focus on passing the two exams then he will apply for my visa and hopefully it gets approved.
We're not talking because I told her exactly what I thought of her and how horrible she has been. So it's me and my dad just talking. I just figured out how much crap she has caused by me talking to him yesterday.
He wanted me to study and get my last two qualifications - not worry about getting work here because I would be doing that in the UK.
I can manage my money to a budget every month so I don't have to worry about getting extra income.
And this is my stepdad I'm talking about. I get much more support from him and pretty solid advice. My mom, on the other hand, is something else.
I just now got to focus on passing the two exams then he will apply for my visa and hopefully it gets approved.
Thanks for the update @RainstormZA and sorry to hear about the battle with your mom. I too find it tough at times to deal with my parents, they were raised in a different world with different expectations and different responsibilities. I try to remind myself that they just want what is best for me even though they don't fully understand what that exactly entails. It is good that you were honest with your mom, it is no use tip toeing around issues like this...
Exactly. I'm done trying to please everyone. It's a wonder I'm so broken, yet I still keep the pieces together and carry on. I think it may be time I talked to my sister because my mom doesn't speak to her and my brothers the way she does to me. It's like I'm the scapegoat for their shortcomings.
And now I'm the abusive one and throws my toys out of the cot, according to my dad. He hasn't even heard my side of the story. Geez.
I'll suck it up for now, get my life sorted for the uk and once I have paid everything off, I'm severing ties with the family. I can't live with toxic people.
Regarding pleasing everyone...
I am not sure severing ties with your family is the best idea but a break from them may be. Good luck with the road ahead either way!
@Neuk, saw this online - makes a lot of sense regarding toxic relationships.
https://lessonslearnedinlife.com/en...TZBx63nkaj_RcuEEEtslRaZs7U1nA8BI8WYRSSUhxySls
https://lessonslearnedinlife.com/en...TZBx63nkaj_RcuEEEtslRaZs7U1nA8BI8WYRSSUhxySls
Now come to think of it. This explains why my psychologist had a go at my parents and why my uncle wanted to take me away from my mother when I was a kid.
http://powerfulmind.co/raised-by-a-toxic-mother/
It says a lot. Enough said.
http://powerfulmind.co/raised-by-a-toxic-mother/
It says a lot. Enough said.
That article just described a typical Indian mother
, but honestly i feel whatever she did was for my own good.
Ouch...That article just described a typical Indian mother
@Faiyaz Cheulkar however there's a thin line between emotional abuse and constructive criticism, however you word it.
Like if I dropped a glass, I get congratulated on being so clumsy and stupid.
As opposed to saying oh dear and try to be more careful in future.
When I was a kid, I was given books at Christmas as a reward for doing well at school. That stopped after I went to boarding school. Funny thing is no one cares if I had average marks. My brothers and sister got more attention for their good marks. I went through high school with depression and they never cared enough til it was too late. My sister developed a eating disorder and they attended to it promptly.
When I had horse shows, my mom never turned up to support me and now that I think of it, she never went to my school sports events either. She gets irritated with me over tiny things.
I was the outcast, all because I was an illegitimate child. To make matters worse, my own father abandoned me.
Well I'm an adult now, so I should make the best of it when I get to the uk and get on with my life.
Like if I dropped a glass, I get congratulated on being so clumsy and stupid.
As opposed to saying oh dear and try to be more careful in future.
When I was a kid, I was given books at Christmas as a reward for doing well at school. That stopped after I went to boarding school. Funny thing is no one cares if I had average marks. My brothers and sister got more attention for their good marks. I went through high school with depression and they never cared enough til it was too late. My sister developed a eating disorder and they attended to it promptly.
When I had horse shows, my mom never turned up to support me and now that I think of it, she never went to my school sports events either. She gets irritated with me over tiny things.
I was the outcast, all because I was an illegitimate child. To make matters worse, my own father abandoned me.
Well I'm an adult now, so I should make the best of it when I get to the uk and get on with my life.
Well, it’s 7 in the morning and my daughter is probably on final approach to Heathrow airport in London.
Been able to keep it together so far, will see what the future holds.
New beginnings and all and all...
Regards
Been able to keep it together so far, will see what the future holds.
New beginnings and all and all...
Regards
B
BioHAZarD
Guest
as long as you not in cape town
Lol you got a point there, over the water rationing.as long as you not in cape town
you have really turned me around, I always blamed my mother for forcing me to do things she wanted instead of letting me do what I want, for example she never allowed me to play outside with other kids instead I got dancing lessons. I never left the house, I was escorted by my mother from the house to the school bus stop and she used to pick me up again from the bus stop. I was always on a strict time table.
I dint grow up in a very nice neighborhood so I think she new I would get spoilt if I play with them. She was wrong but I can say she did what she thought was right for me, after all she was just 20 years old when she had me, and 18 when she had my elder brother (Muslim girls were married early in those days in India)
Thanks @Raindance
I have had a bit of flu the last few days so back at work and catching up with everything.
Yeah that's different. Our mothers were our age once and they know exactly what happens out there.
I've seen my own friends succumb to alcohol, drugs and smoking from as young as 9. The one was misguided because her dad was an alcoholic and beat on the mother in front of the kids.
But by the time he got sorted, it was kinda too late for her til she met a man who forced her to clean up her life. She's still with him and two kids in high school now.
Her dad had to bail her out of hospital due to alcohol poisoning and her dad only allowed her to call me over for the weekend. Then he asked me to talk some sense into her because she refused to listen to him. All because I never drank or smoked in my teens. I tell you why. I rode horses on weekends and every Saturday I was working at the fire station, training as a junior fire cub with a team of teenage boys. I was even a volunteer assisting the army once a month.
He was concerned for her but her stubbornness got in the way and I saved her backside many times.
Its different for everyone.
@Neuk, that would be @RainstormZA you need to thank.Thanks @Raindance
Regards
Having a particularly k@k morning, as I am off to hospital for a 24 hour EEG later today, and realizing that no-one will even visit me. My mom has no transport to hospital due to her epilepsy, so I have to gun it alone. Makes me miss having someone special that cares and can be there. On a positive note I saw my cardiologist yesterday, and he is very happy with my improvement since last year and even suggested we skip further appointments as he deems it unnecessary. Lots of other things happening, but I don't want to get too depro discussing it on here. Hope you all have a good day
Good luck with the EEG and great news about the cardiologist. You are in our thoughts.
Wow
I wish I had read this a few years back, I would not have gotten divorced as I probably would never have gotten married! Making the decision to leave my now ex-wife was one of the toughest decisions I have ever made but we have both moved on and are happier than ever.
Why do those close to you make you feel guilty of something that is beyond your control.
I have bad teeth, no matter how much effort I put into looking after them. I made an appt and looked at several issues, one being a major rebuilt of one molar.
Still need to do one more and not enough time. My dad looks at me and says it never stops. Like it's my fault.
Sigh. Now you see why I need to cut off ties with my parents. They are toxic.
I have bad teeth, no matter how much effort I put into looking after them. I made an appt and looked at several issues, one being a major rebuilt of one molar.
Still need to do one more and not enough time. My dad looks at me and says it never stops. Like it's my fault.
Sigh. Now you see why I need to cut off ties with my parents. They are toxic.
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