#ITSOKAYTOTALK - Mental Illness
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Trying the healthy body, healthy mind approach.Seems to be working...
Regards
Best I can do is to keep you in my thoughts mate. You are not alone
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As scary as it might sound
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Sent by iDad's iPhone
@RainstormZA read up about narcissistic personality disorder.
I think you may find your parents have a mental disorder and not you.
Sadly, the best thing to do is cut toxic people out completely and be aware of the guilt factor that they will use to lure you back in. The nice thing about seeing if your mum fits into the narcissistic role is that there is a plethora of information of what to do and how to deal with people of that "class".
I think you may find your parents have a mental disorder and not you.
Sadly, the best thing to do is cut toxic people out completely and be aware of the guilt factor that they will use to lure you back in. The nice thing about seeing if your mum fits into the narcissistic role is that there is a plethora of information of what to do and how to deal with people of that "class".
Yeah I've suspected it for years. I'm just so thankful for a very supportive psychologist, I can call him anytime I need to. Not that I've done it but knowing someone is there for you at no extra charge is great.
Sadly brother takes after them and my mother isnt the only one. My stepdad also uses sneaky guilt tactics too, took me a while to recognise it.
And this is why I'm not married with kids, I'm afraid of passing the abuse on them.
But however I do have an adorable 5 year old nephew who is exactly like me and a niece that just turned 4. I've never smacked them ever and I tell them if they are doing something unacceptable.
I believe in punishment where there is consequences for bad actions. Like making them wash the wall if they draw on it, for example.
I do use the idea of consequences for discipline but that seems like common sense to me. I see how others around me "beat" their kids and its often very sad because the parents dont take the time to understand why the child is acting the way it is. Often taking a step back to assess why the child is behaving in a certain manner creates a better understanding and also a more lasting effect when consequences are introduced.
then again what do I know, Ill only be able to give feedback on my methods (success/failure) in roughly 10 years.
Yeah when the kids misbehave they get time out alone. Their mother is a very good mom because she sits with them and the family has a meeting about why it's unacceptable and all that.
The girl had an attitude and used to be difficult. I once asked her if she would like it if someone treated her the way she used to do to her older brother. That attitude changed very quickly and she has respect for him now.
I cannot stress the importance of being as healthy as possible in all aspects of life and the effect it has on your well being, physically, mentally, etc. When I was separated from my ex wife, I had a lot more time to myself and I did a lot of introspection and soul searching, trying to find a constant in my life that I could fixate on instead of the process I was going through which ended up in a divorce. I found that leading as healthy a life as possible helped more than anything else, eating well, limiting alcohol intake, getting adequate sleep/rest, moving/exercising, being social with friends and family, getting outside as much as possible and taking some quite time to reflect on it all. I don't always succeed in all aspects but I do my utmost to try to and the effect it has had on my life is immense...
P.S. I am reading Dr Jordan Petersons '12 Rules For Life' at the moment and he says the first fix he makes with most clinical patients suffering from anxiety and depression. is simply getting them to go to bed and get up on a regular schedule. Just one aspect of treatment but a good place to start...
What is happening bud? How did the tests go? How is the CBD going?
Will take about two weeks to get results back. 8000 pages to analyse apparently. CBD is going. Might be overdoing it in the beginning, but it seems to help. Currently weaning off my meds and looking for a new psychiatrist that isn't so pill-happy. Started vaping today as well. Going to try and cut back to minimum on the stinkies for the week and next week take none. Yesterday I was lonely as ****, and just had a bad afternoon in general.
That is so true. All the things one tries to avoid when in a low are actually the things you should do to get back up.
During my divorce i joined a hiking group and managed to make it through with no medical intervention of any sort. Ok, a lot of reading and soul searching as well.
At present I am adjusting to living alone again but by remaining active (daily FitBit goals) I actually find myself in a very positive space. This new beginning actually excites me.
Something that has been lying dorment inside me has awoken and I have this impatient desire to make major changes in my life.
When everything changes, change everything. House, job, car, maybe even country. There is a great big world full of opportunity out there and I’ve been treading water way to long.
Regards
I dont want to come across as insensitive. I've been where you are now and overcame it.
This is where the problem lies here. You CAN'T rely on others to make you happy. You need to make yourself happy from within, inside yourself. The question is how you will achieve it is up to you and only you.
I see you never took suggestion to start an hobby to keep yourself busy. I taught myself to crochet a year ago and I'm loving it. If you have the funds, study further or something to enhance your job skills. If your mom has a garden, go weed it, it's very therapeutic. Volunteer at a local shelter, now that will be for a good cause if you love animals.
I play games over the weekend instead of going out. Because I've learnt to love my own space and company.
I have way too many hobbies and skills because I try to keep myself busy all the time. It helps a lot.
Oh contraire, I have many hobbies. My snakes, my air rifles, my photography, etc. etc. etc. BUT, no amount of hobbies will ever substitute that human connection. I spent all Saturday in my garden, and all Sunday morning ironing and pitstopping all my Reos, but I need more than keeping busy.
I'll just leave this song as a reply:
I say that's also true too but I think each one of us are different when it comes to having friends around.
I'm an introvert so speaking from my own perspective here. To be honest, there's very few people I will let in my circle of friends. And when I count on my fingers of how many true friends I have, it dwindles down to one and she's married with a kid going into high school soon.
I've had too many "friends" who only use me or want me for something. After 10+ years, I can't stand being around people. 30 mins with kids and I just want to retreat into my safe place. These is my niece and nephew I'm talking about. I love having them around but they can get too much for me after 30 minutes.
If you crave human contact, a local animal shelter or soup kitchen might want your help. Heck even organising dog walk groups with people might not be such a bad idea.
I was thinking more along the lines of cuddling up on the couch with someone special to watch a movie and smell her freshly shampooed hair
Lol well take my last suggestion into consideration, you might just find someone along the way. Just don't rush things, just my 2c worth.I was thinking more along the lines of cuddling up on the couch with someone special to watch a movie and smell her freshly shampooed hair
Rekindled some old friendships, and it's opened up so many doors and given me hope again. Didn't do the scary movie Halloween I had planned, but spent an hour on the phone with an old friend and she really cheered me up. Today turned out to be a good day after all
Great to hear @Viper_SA , sometimes all a person needs is someone to talk to, and it can be a game changing experience. Keep it up meneer, we are all rooting for you.
Kinda reminds me of something - a childhood friend messaged me out of the blue and we chatted for several days. She had just gotten her divorce through and it was really nice to hear from her as we've known each other since we were 12.
Then a while later, I got a friend request from her. We went down memory lane with her older sister.
How old friendships make a full circle turn back. Those are the ones that never die, dormant yes but never die.
Then a while later, I got a friend request from her. We went down memory lane with her older sister.
How old friendships make a full circle turn back. Those are the ones that never die, dormant yes but never die.
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