#BLCKPS5
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
@Cor
@vicTor
@GSM500
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
@Cor
@vicTor
@GSM500
#BLCKPS5
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
@ivc_mixer @piffht @Dietz
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
@ivc_mixer @piffht @Dietz
#BLCKPS5
Will Smith got lost in the snow. After a week of searching i found him in the mountains hiding under a tree. me and my team looked for fresh prints
@Hardtail1969 @Ugi @masoodkearns
Will Smith got lost in the snow. After a week of searching i found him in the mountains hiding under a tree. me and my team looked for fresh prints
@Hardtail1969 @Ugi @masoodkearns
#BLCKPS5
I was at a very emotional wedding the other day. This covid sucks!
The cake was even in tiers @Feliks Karp @vaalboy @wackytebacky
I was at a very emotional wedding the other day. This covid sucks!
The cake was even in tiers @Feliks Karp @vaalboy @wackytebacky
#BLCKPS5
Vacuum cleaner for sale.
Age of item: about a year
Reason for sale: don't use it anymore, gathering dust.
@SmokeyJoe @delon @Adam.R
Vacuum cleaner for sale.
Age of item: about a year
Reason for sale: don't use it anymore, gathering dust.
@SmokeyJoe @delon @Adam.R
#blckps5
A newlywed couple moves into their new house.
One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, ‘Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?’
The husband says, ‘What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?’
A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, ‘Honey, the car won’t start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?’
He says: ‘What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?’
Another few days go by, and it’s raining pretty hard.
The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, ‘Honey, there’s a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?’
He says, ‘What do I look like, Bob Vila?’
The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened.
‘Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them,’ she says.
‘Great! How much is that going to cost me?’ he snarls.
Wife says: ‘Nothing. He said he’d do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him.’
‘Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?’ asks the husband.
‘What do I look like,’ she says, ‘Betty Crocker?’
@ivc_mixer
@LeislB
@Stew
A newlywed couple moves into their new house.
One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, ‘Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?’
The husband says, ‘What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?’
A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, ‘Honey, the car won’t start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?’
He says: ‘What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?’
Another few days go by, and it’s raining pretty hard.
The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, ‘Honey, there’s a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?’
He says, ‘What do I look like, Bob Vila?’
The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened.
‘Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them,’ she says.
‘Great! How much is that going to cost me?’ he snarls.
Wife says: ‘Nothing. He said he’d do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him.’
‘Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?’ asks the husband.
‘What do I look like,’ she says, ‘Betty Crocker?’
@ivc_mixer
@LeislB
@Stew
What is a random thing that gives you anxiety?
Trying to put my change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me just by standing there.
#BLCKPS5
@Adephi
@DarthBranMuffin
@Stew
Trying to put my change in my wallet at the cash register while people in line put pressure on me just by standing there.
#BLCKPS5
@Adephi
@DarthBranMuffin
@Stew
#BLCKPS5
Reading all these awesome jokes is making me anxious... Lol.
Its now time to Announce me as the winner
@Resistance
@Dela Rey Steyn
@Hakhan
Reading all these awesome jokes is making me anxious... Lol.
Its now time to Announce me as the winner
@Resistance
@Dela Rey Steyn
@Hakhan
#BLCKPS5
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack.
@Mujahid Padayachy
@vicTor
@OnePowerfulCorsa
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack.
@Mujahid Padayachy
@vicTor
@OnePowerfulCorsa
#BLCKPS5
this January is not Januarying like the
other January's januaried
@Mujahid Padayachy
@OnePowerfulCorsa
@Jengz
Sent from my SM-N975F using Tapatalk
this January is not Januarying like the
other January's januaried
@Mujahid Padayachy
@OnePowerfulCorsa
@Jengz
Sent from my SM-N975F using Tapatalk
#BLCKPS5
During the first
lock-downs"we felt
like we were living in
a movie. We didn't
know it was a
series...
@SmokeyJoe
@delon
@SmokelessFire
Sent from my SM-N975F using Tapatalk
During the first
lock-downs"we felt
like we were living in
a movie. We didn't
know it was a
series...
@SmokeyJoe
@delon
@SmokelessFire
Sent from my SM-N975F using Tapatalk
#BLCKPS5
I remember once when my dad gave
me money to pay the electricity bill
but instead i bought a raffle ticket
for a brand new car. When i got
home,i explained to my dad what i
did and he beat the crap out of me.
But the next day,when my dad woke
up and opened the door outside my
house was a brand new car. We all
cried especially me,because the car
was from the electricity
company,they were there to cut off
the electricity, my dad beat the crap
out of me again.
@vaalboy
@wackytebacky
@masoodkearns
Sent from my SM-N975F using Tapatalk
I remember once when my dad gave
me money to pay the electricity bill
but instead i bought a raffle ticket
for a brand new car. When i got
home,i explained to my dad what i
did and he beat the crap out of me.
But the next day,when my dad woke
up and opened the door outside my
house was a brand new car. We all
cried especially me,because the car
was from the electricity
company,they were there to cut off
the electricity, my dad beat the crap
out of me again.
@vaalboy
@wackytebacky
@masoodkearns
Sent from my SM-N975F using Tapatalk
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