Dirty Lol's Thread

[Rob Fisher]

 

[Rex_Bael]

Like my Dad used to say: "If you don't know what you're doing, look busy!"

 

[Rex_Bael]

 

[Sharrivz]

 

[Metal Liz]

 

[Sharrivz]

OMG! @Metal Liz that is classic!

 

[Derick]

It is international clitoris awareness week guys and girls - be especially aware of that clitoris!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/05/clitoris-awareness-week_n_5267483.html

 

[RezaD]

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. He sees a HUGE jar on the back of the bar, stuffed full of $5 bills. "What's that jar for, sir?"
Oh, that's for our standing bar bet. It cost $5 to enter and if you win, you get all the money."
"Must be pretty hard. How much money is in there?"
"Well, over $5,000 by now. And it is a difficult bet but I can't tell you what the bet consists of until you put your money in."
the guy is intrigued and has a couple of shots before giving the bartender $5, and says, "Ok, tell me about this bet."


"Well, it's a 3-part bet. First, you see that big motherf#cker over by the pool table? You've gotta knock him out with one punch."
The guy looks over a sees a huge man, 300 pounds of pure muscle. "Wow, that's scary. What's the second part?"
The bartender points at the back door. "Out back, we've got a rottweiler with an abscess tooth. Every year that tooth gets nastier and nastier, and every year that rottweiler gets meaner and meaner. You've gotta pull out that abscess tooth."
"Holy crap! I'm scared to ask what the third part is..."
"Well, you see that fat ***** at the end of the bar?"
The guy looks down the bar to see a 400 pound, toothless woman. The ugliest woman he's ever seen. "...yeah, I see her..."
"You've got to have sex with her and give her an orgasm. And she hasn't had an orgasm in 10 years!"
The guy is speechless. As thinks everything over he starts taking shot after shot to build up his liquid courage. Then he jumps up and says, "What's the first part again?"
The bartender points at the big guy by the pool table. "The big motherf*cker!"
The guy runs over, jumps up and WHAM!!!! Knocks the guy out with one punch. "What's next bartender?"
The bartender points at the back door. "Rottweiler!" And the guy runs out the back door.
Time goes by and the bartender is starting to get worried. He starts walking toward the back door to make sure the guy isn't dead. Just then, the guy walks through the door, clothes torn to shreds, bleeding all over the place.
"Alright, where's that fat ***** with the abscess tooth?"

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We seriously need a "F...ing Hilarious" rating...... I laughed....out loud...????

 

[johan]

I'm silenced!

 

[annemarievdh]

If you don't use it you loos it...

hahahahaha

 

[devdev]

If mine looked like that I think I would be happy to loose it!

??

 

[Sharrivz]

 

[ET]

 

[Rowan Francis]

 

[mbera]

Die blondine stap by ‘n apteek in en haal ‘n botteltjie vloeistof
en ‘n teelepel uit haar handsak.

Sy gooi van die vloeistof in die teelepel en vra die apteker om te proe.

Die apteker proe en trek ‘n vreeslike gesig.

Blondine: ‘Proe dit soet?’

Apteker: ‘Nee!’

Blondine: ‘Dankie tog, My dokter het gesê ek moet my urine
by julle laat toets vir suiker.

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[Rowan Francis]

When I first noticed that my penis was growing larger
And staying erect longer, I was delighted, as was my wife
But... After several weeks, my penis had grown fifty centimeters.
I Became quite concerned. I was having problems dressing, and even walking.
So the wife and I went to see a prominent urologist.
After an initial examination, the doctor explained to us that, though rare, My condition (Donkey Doodle) could be fixed through corrective Surgery.
"How long will he be on crutches?" my wife asked anxiously.
"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.
"Well," Said the wife coldly, "you are gonna lengthen his legs, aren't you?

 

[Sharrivz]

 

[Gizmo]

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[Metal Liz]

bwhahahaha eeeeeeeeeeeuwwwww!!!!!!!

 

[capetocuba]

Bwahahahaha

 

[Riaz]

gross man!!!!

 

[Smokyg]

True story

 

[crack2483]

That's ummmmmmm, real dedication!

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[BumbleBee]

hahahaha! That's just nasty, just nasty man!

 

[Gizmo]

True story

damn frenzy is lucky