My flowers bloomed this morning after some rain overnight.
#ITSOKAYTOTALK - Mental Illness
- Thread starter brotiform
- Start date
Feeling exceptionally lonely tonight. I generally like my solitude but at times....
Regards
Regards
Sometimes you just need to know there is another person on the planet.
Welcome to earth.
Sray strong and hang in there, tomorrow is a new day and the sun WILL shine once more
I finally logged on here after not doing so for a while and have been sitting in front of my keyboard not knowing what to type in response to what has been shared. I have been going through an up and down time the last few months, today is another down day where I am tired after not sleeping well at all last night. I know that I will eventually feel better and I know what I need to do to make sure I feel better in the future but it is still a struggle...
Good luck to you and your struggle, you can overcome it, like I will mine. Chin up, eyes forward, one foot in front of the other...
Good luck to you and your struggle, you can overcome it, like I will mine. Chin up, eyes forward, one foot in front of the other...
Yeah from time to time, I get struck by an epiphany of magnimous proportions.
It took me a long time to.overcome my fear of death. Yet, somehow I'm hit home with the persepective that I may not be around to see my brother's kids grow up.
Or how my gran would have loved this, that or those if she was still around. She always announces her presence in the form of a butterfly...
Finally knocked off work and have some downtime until Thursday, then it's back to the grind again. I wish it was the 3rd of January already. I hate the festive season. My dad's birthday was on the 14th, and he passed away in January, so it's a shitty time of year for me. This year, around midyear I had an early Christmas gift, but sadly that didn't stick. All I can do is trudge on and hope for the best. Merry Christmas to you all and much thanks for being there whenever I needed to vent. I know I am on some people's ignore list, but I hope and pray that my best wishes and prayers reach them too.
A very Merry Christmas to you too @Viper_SA , and all the best for 2019. May all your dreams come to fruition.
Hey boet, sometimes being kicked in the gnads is a good thing. You bend down in agony but the bullet headed for your head misses you. As my buddy Mick says, sometimes not getting what you want is the best thing that could happen to you. You might not get what you want but do receive what you need.
Dont ask me, I’m just commiting plagearism here...
Regards and strength buddy!
So, I made it through Christmas! Even without a stinky. I just wish I had someone to really talk to today to help calm my anxiety and racing thoughts. I miss having a favorite person, those of you that struggle with bpd will know what I mean.
If you made it this far you will make it all the way my friend. Was my first xmas alone as well. Had to keep from having those destructive thoughts because they would have dragged me down. Focused on the positives of being completely free and only accountable to myself instead. For every con there is a pro and for every pro there is a con. It's a question of perspective.
Regards
Great news @Viper_SA , congratulations on not giving in and having a stinkie. Great milestone reached in your journey.
Agreed, not my first time spending Xmas alone but I loved every minute of it. No Christmas tree, decorations, nothing this time. It was stress free, wait I lie, I had to deal with a rinkhals yesterday. I can't get over how close it was to me... Usually we get 4 a year and this is the first one. There's more coming.
I'm just thankful my dog never got bitten - apparently she can't see properly (old age) so it was a good thing as she has had cobras spit in her face so many times when she was younger. We still have the snake kit for our dog as an emergency so thankful not having to use it. Apparently it's painful and leaves eyes swollen for 3 days but not lethal, the vet prescribed ointment in the emergency kit helps a lot.
Though I wouldn't mind if it was a red lipped herald, not a rinkhals.
I love Rinkhals, they are so awesome.
Daar's skimme, op donker balkonne,
Met lëe, oop koffers wat wag
Daar's skimme, op skemer perronne,
Wat wag op 'n trein na die dag
Weerlose, weerlose mense
Op reis van perron na perron
In 'n middernagland
Sonder grense of tyd
En 'n ewigheid ver van die son, van die son
En 'n ewigheid ver van die son
Daar's skimme, gewikkel in jasse
Verskans teen die winde van ys
Daar's skimme, met kiste soos tasse,
Vol drome gepak vir die reis
Weerlose, weerlose mense
Op reis van perron na perron
In 'n middernagland
Sonder grense of tyd
En 'n ewigheid ver van die son, van die son
En 'n ewigheid ver van die son
(Koos du Plessis)
Met lëe, oop koffers wat wag
Daar's skimme, op skemer perronne,
Wat wag op 'n trein na die dag
Weerlose, weerlose mense
Op reis van perron na perron
In 'n middernagland
Sonder grense of tyd
En 'n ewigheid ver van die son, van die son
En 'n ewigheid ver van die son
Daar's skimme, gewikkel in jasse
Verskans teen die winde van ys
Daar's skimme, met kiste soos tasse,
Vol drome gepak vir die reis
Weerlose, weerlose mense
Op reis van perron na perron
In 'n middernagland
Sonder grense of tyd
En 'n ewigheid ver van die son, van die son
En 'n ewigheid ver van die son
(Koos du Plessis)
Angels
Robbie Williams
I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate
And do they know
The places where we go
When we're grey and old
'Cause I have been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel the love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call, she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
When I'm feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call, she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
Robbie Williams
I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate
And do they know
The places where we go
When we're grey and old
'Cause I have been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel the love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call, she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
When I'm feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call, she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
"Behind Blue Eyes"
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
And if I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
And if I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
And if I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
And if I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
I have come to the conclusion that I need 3 things desperately. Money, leave days and a vacation at the coast. Now if only I could get the 1st two sorted, the 3rd might be an option, even if it means going on holiday all alone
Having an off night. At least I know what triggered it. Slowly starting to learn more about myself in therapy. She's been scratching at old wounds I'd forgotten I had, so it's painful, but worthwhile. But I'm not ready or in a space where I'd share those things on a public platform. Suffice to say its really personal and I never thought it played a part in my life at 41 years old. As they say, hindsight is always 20/20. Sometimes you have to step back to see the full picture. Which is kind of like tonight; I know I feel off and won't get anything productive done, so I double dropped my sleeping tablets and in a while I'll drift off to sweet oblivion and rise tomorrow to continue the fight. And realising that it's okay to sometimes feel overwhelmed and "run" away for a bit.
Much blessing to you all, and thank you for taking the time to read my post, and others like it.
Much blessing to you all, and thank you for taking the time to read my post, and others like it.
i have to get this out. need to start saying it out loud ,
on the 27 dec my wife past away, my best friend the only one that coed understand
i feel lost
need to stay out of the rabid hole, but it looks so nice down there
on the 27 dec my wife past away, my best friend the only one that coed understand
i feel lost
need to stay out of the rabid hole, but it looks so nice down there
Mate, hang in there. Nothing that I can say will take the hurt away or make your loss less, but we are there for you. You are in the thoughts and prayers of many. We mourn with you.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
thank you you are helping allot
and all in group thank you so much all
My condolences.
You don't have to be the best person right now but try be the person she would have wanted you to be.
You are in our thoughts and please remember if you need anything please put your pride aside and ask as there is a whole group of people that would do whatever they can.
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