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Hahaha!This time of the year the roads are quiet. It shouldn't be a problem. JHB is the best place to be over December, everybody buggers off.
Sheesh been so long since I had a stable net connection, **** Telkom really. How is everyone? I must say since getting my blood glucose under super tight control, I have been feeling a lot "lighter", I still get bleak from time to time but I feel as though I put so much effort in to managing the physical aspect of myself that I have become a lot more mindful of er well my mind too.
Had to postpone my follow -up visits to the psychiatrist due to workload. Can't wait for Monday, and really hope she can help me. Last two weeks have been hell. Constant panic attack and many many thoughts of suicide and ending it all. I jsut can't handle the anxiety any longer. I do nothing, have no energy, and stress about everything that is nkt being done because I have no energy. At night I can't sleep, duting the day I can't keep my eyes open. I feel suffocated and like I don't fit in my.own skin. I cry for no reason, other than feeling like crying and feeling hopeless. I don't think that Luvox and Epitec are working for me. I have become increasingly agro, punching walls, and myself, again. One minute I want to kill everyone around me, the next I want to sit in a heap and cry while slitting my wrists. I have turned to stinkies and alcohol for the short term, but not really helping.
Just needed to vent
Hi Viper, I would not normally reply to items on this thread but your post has me worried. Having been in the same space you are describing I just wish to assure you that it does get better. It takes time, but this too will pass. Just keep on putting one foot in front of the other.Had to postpone my follow -up visits to the psychiatrist due to workload. Can't wait for Monday, and really hope she can help me. Last two weeks have been hell. Constant panic attack and many many thoughts of suicide and ending it all. I jsut can't handle the anxiety any longer. I do nothing, have no energy, and stress about everything that is nkt being done because I have no energy. At night I can't sleep, duting the day I can't keep my eyes open. I feel suffocated and like I don't fit in my.own skin. I cry for no reason, other than feeling like crying and feeling hopeless. I don't think that Luvox and Epitec are working for me. I have become increasingly agro, punching walls, and myself, again. One minute I want to kill everyone around me, the next I want to sit in a heap and cry while slitting my wrists. I have turned to stinkies and alcohol for the short term, but not really helping.
Just needed to vent
Hang in there my friend.Had to postpone my follow -up visits to the psychiatrist due to workload. Can't wait for Monday, and really hope she can help me. Last two weeks have been hell. Constant panic attack and many many thoughts of suicide and ending it all. I jsut can't handle the anxiety any longer. I do nothing, have no energy, and stress about everything that is nkt being done because I have no energy. At night I can't sleep, duting the day I can't keep my eyes open. I feel suffocated and like I don't fit in my.own skin. I cry for no reason, other than feeling like crying and feeling hopeless. I don't think that Luvox and Epitec are working for me. I have become increasingly agro, punching walls, and myself, again. One minute I want to kill everyone around me, the next I want to sit in a heap and cry while slitting my wrists. I have turned to stinkies and alcohol for the short term, but not really helping.
Just needed to vent
Had to postpone my follow -up visits to the psychiatrist due to workload. Can't wait for Monday, and really hope she can help me. Last two weeks have been hell. Constant panic attack and many many thoughts of suicide and ending it all. I jsut can't handle the anxiety any longer. I do nothing, have no energy, and stress about everything that is nkt being done because I have no energy. At night I can't sleep, duting the day I can't keep my eyes open. I feel suffocated and like I don't fit in my.own skin. I cry for no reason, other than feeling like crying and feeling hopeless. I don't think that Luvox and Epitec are working for me. I have become increasingly agro, punching walls, and myself, again. One minute I want to kill everyone around me, the next I want to sit in a heap and cry while slitting my wrists. I have turned to stinkies and alcohol for the short term, but not really helping.
Just needed to vent
There @Viper_SA, rolling like a rock star!So, apparently anti-depressants don't do me good at all. Also, the damn professor I've been seeing in the Vaal had it all wrong. Bipolar is the least of my worries apparently. My anxiety and OCD issues are of far more concern to the new psychiatrist. As is my Borderline Personality and self-harm issues. Yes, I beat myself to a pulp sometimes, but has been dormant for very long, starting to rear it's ugly bead though. She stopped my Luvkx completely, kept me on Epitec, added a tranquilliser twice a day, and anough Seroquel (anti-psychotic) to keep a bull in a China shop calm. I'm tired as hell in the mornings, but I have that when I go on and off anti-depressants all the time, so not too worried. Feeling better, thanks for all the messages peeps. At least I got to cross off a few things from my Bucket List on Saturday, lol. Had sex for the first time in 5 years, had sex with someone other than my ex, had sex with a size 6 girl, and....... Well, gotta leave some mystery, don't I
So, apparently anti-depressants don't do me good at all. Also, the damn professor I've been seeing in the Vaal had it all wrong. Bipolar is the least of my worries apparently. My anxiety and OCD issues are of far more concern to the new psychiatrist. As is my Borderline Personality and self-harm issues. Yes, I beat myself to a pulp sometimes, but has been dormant for very long, starting to rear it's ugly bead though. She stopped my Luvkx completely, kept me on Epitec, added a tranquilliser twice a day, and anough Seroquel (anti-psychotic) to keep a bull in a China shop calm. I'm tired as hell in the mornings, but I have that when I go on and off anti-depressants all the time, so not too worried. Feeling better, thanks for all the messages peeps. At least I got to cross off a few things from my Bucket List on Saturday, lol. Had sex for the first time in 5 years, had sex with someone other than my ex, had sex with a size 6 girl, and....... Well, gotta leave some mystery, don't I
I'm glad that it went well @Viper_SA (of course - like you made clear, nothing of this nature suddenly turns spectacufabulous immediately, but it sounds like the new psych has a very clear direction in mind and that you are already feeling a bit better). And... on your Saturday night (absolutely no offense intended to you specifically or to anyone with the less flattering parts of the song - the focus is on the 'celebratory' part ):So, apparently anti-depressants don't do me good at all. Also, the damn professor I've been seeing in the Vaal had it all wrong. Bipolar is the least of my worries apparently. My anxiety and OCD issues are of far more concern to the new psychiatrist. As is my Borderline Personality and self-harm issues. Yes, I beat myself to a pulp sometimes, but has been dormant for very long, starting to rear it's ugly bead though. She stopped my Luvkx completely, kept me on Epitec, added a tranquilliser twice a day, and anough Seroquel (anti-psychotic) to keep a bull in a China shop calm. I'm tired as hell in the mornings, but I have that when I go on and off anti-depressants all the time, so not too worried. Feeling better, thanks for all the messages peeps. At least I got to cross off a few things from my Bucket List on Saturday, lol. Had sex for the first time in 5 years, had sex with someone other than my ex, had sex with a size 6 girl, and....... Well, gotta leave some mystery, don't I