If women rule the world, there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries ,not talking to each other.
Reflections
- Thread starter Andre
- Start date
or a guy!
Nonsense! Of course we talk to each other - know thine enemy! Besides, we need to glean important information, such as who does her hair, her nails and where she bought that beautiful bag.
Technically this is incorrect.
I quote:
a vessel, as of glass, porcelain, earthenware, or metal, usually higher than it is wide, used chiefly to hold cut flowers or for decoration
Meanwhile in a parallel universe:
“Oh for fxxx sake! Where are all these extra single socks coming from?!”
“Oh for fxxx sake! Where are all these extra single socks coming from?!”
Being South African means driving your Japanese car to an German pub to have a Mexican beer, then grabbing an Indian curry ,a Turkish kebab or Italian pizza on the way home where you rest on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Chinese TV.
Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.
If I have a guardian angel, then he's a prankster. My shit just don't come in threes as they say. It comes in droves, and I suspect he's behind it all.
Maybe he’s a bit like his charge,
knows how to push the boundaries without turning everything into a total FUP. But at least you know who’s behind it all.
Doing nothing is hard,
you never know when you're done.
you never know when you're done.
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
I don't own an ass but my grandparents used to have one...
FROM WOMEN TO WOMEN
1. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.-Gilda Radner-
2. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -Wendy Liebman-
3. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb and I also know that I'm not blonde. -Dolly Parton-
4. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr-
5. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson-
6. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. -Rita Rudner-
7. I think -- therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead-
8. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. -Erma Bombeck-
9. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. -Sue Grafton-
10. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -Erica Jong-
11. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler-
12. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher-
13. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinhem-
14. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. -Baroness Edith Summerskill-
15. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee-
16. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor-
1. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.-Gilda Radner-
2. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -Wendy Liebman-
3. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb and I also know that I'm not blonde. -Dolly Parton-
4. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr-
5. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson-
6. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. -Rita Rudner-
7. I think -- therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead-
8. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. -Erma Bombeck-
9. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. -Sue Grafton-
10. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -Erica Jong-
11. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler-
12. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher-
13. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinhem-
14. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. -Baroness Edith Summerskill-
15. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee-
16. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor-
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame...
Saw this and had to swallow hard ......
“My dad passed away when I was 16 from cancer and before he died he pre-payed for flowers so I could receive them every year on my birthday. Well, these are my 21st birthday flowers and the last ones I will get. I miss you so much daddy.”
© SellersBailey/twitter
“My dad passed away when I was 16 from cancer and before he died he pre-payed for flowers so I could receive them every year on my birthday. Well, these are my 21st birthday flowers and the last ones I will get. I miss you so much daddy.”
© SellersBailey/twitter
Unfortunately it doesn't. It belongs in the hands of an ignorant government.
Housework is such a drag. You clean and dust and sweep and make the bed - and then you have to do it all over again next year.
Saw this and had to swallow hard ......
“My dad passed away when I was 16 from cancer and before he died he pre-payed for flowers so I could receive them every year on my birthday. Well, these are my 21st birthday flowers and the last ones I will get. I miss you so much daddy.”
SellersBailey/twitter
SellersBailey/twitter
️️️Sent by iDad's iPhone
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