Giggles

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your Business at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. "I'm Sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't Even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy"
 
Dont ever tell me our postal service is not up to scratch

They work in the future

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SELF EXAMINATION FOR ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE....It takes less than 15 seconds..


If you are over 55 yrs old, you SHOULD take this Alzheimer's Test.


How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks?

1. _ _NDOM

2. F_ _K

3. P_N_S

4. PU_S_

5. S_X

6. BOO_S

Answers:

1. RANDOM

2. FORK

3. PANTS

4. PULSE

5. SIX

6. BOOKS

You got all 6 wrong...didn't you?
You do NOT have Alzheimer's. You are a pervert.
 
that is very true i swear my cat has better food than me sometimes
 
The rude awakening ?
Meh, not allowed to embed - Watch on youtube instead..

 
here is a huge house in our street. The extended family is run by an old woman with a pack of irritable dogs allowed to run without a leash.

Her car doesn't even have a number plate, but the police do nothing.

To the best of my knowledge, she has never had a regular job in her life, and her bad-tempered husband is notorious for his racist comments.

A shopkeeper blamed her for arranging the murder of her son's ex-wife and her boyfriend, but nothing has ever been proved.

All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest, who everyone thinks is gay.

Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army but are always out partying in nightclubs.

One of them just got married and seems to be settling down but the second is out of control.

It is not even known if they have the same father.

I hate living near Buckingham Palace!:p
 
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